I go to the local eye glass place which is open on Sundays as it is run by ricpic's lantzmen. The guy was happy to see me as he made thousands the last time the wife got new lenses and frames. Of course the line was backed up and it took forever. When I finally got in it seems my prescription changed just a little. Of course it is gonna cost about $300 to fix my old glasses and who knows how much for the new ones she wants me to get. I don't know what they will look like as she has to pick out the frames and she had to stay in the store this afternoon. But there is even more good news!
It seems that I have the smallest and slightest of cataracts in one eye. So the doctor tells me I have to wear sunglasses all the time. Now I hate to wear sunglasses. Why? Because I lose the fucking things all the time. So now the wife gets to spend tons of money on good sunglasses with the excuse that it is good for my health.
Fuck.
Sometimes I envy Stevie Wonder.
20 comments:
Fuck sunglasses, fuck cataracts.
Fuck formerly "Little" Stevie Wonder.
Let the cataracts go, then get them fixed. Large or small, it's the same 15 minute outpatient procedure.
Who doesn't relish the thought of having one's eyeballs sliced open. I know I am looking forward to it, if I can see my way clear.
Does masturbation cause cataracts?
Ray-Bans, please.
Raelettes.
Who doesn't relish the thought of having one's eyeballs sliced open. I know I am looking forward to it, if I can see my way clear.
Vitreous humor
I try to remain detached from that.
My rods and cones they comfort me...
I have a fucking 50% off coupon for Maui Jims which are the exact fucking sunglasses that cost $500 that I lost the last fucking time I had fucking expensive fucking sunglasses.
I hate fucking sunglasses.
I wear 'em all the time. There's a lot of glare out there on the softball fields and I've gotta keep a sharp eye on my team.
Irrelevant to a happily married guy, tho.
I used to wear them, then stopped.
Now I have cataracts.
No rincorns.
Seriously, I developed cataracts fairly young. May have been all the torch flames I stared into over the years. May also have been the steroid-based nasal sprays to deal with being allergic to the East Coast. Also, I'm probably just inclined to them. Don't know, but I had my first operation on the right eye about 10 years ago, and the other followed in less than 2 years.
I've got to say they were both great successes. I can see better now than I ever have. The downside, of course, is you lose the ability to focus your eyes, but that goes as you get older anyway. I can notice no difference in that department pre- or post-operation.
I'm somewhat nearsighted, which is handy for my work, so my ophthalmologist implanted lenses that basically matched my old prescription, minus, of course, the astigmatism.
I wear progressive lenses, which are expensive, but when done right are amazing. I had to go through two pairs before they worked. They've gotten scratched up, so I should replace them, but the basic prescription hasn't changed and is unlikely to do so for the rest of my life, so at least I'm not stuck getting a new prescription when my eyes change.
Find a good eye doctor, and, if your insurance goes along with a lens replacement, get it dealt with ASAP. The procedure is not exactly 15 minutes, but I was in and out of the hospital in a few hours. You have to go around with googly-eye cover for a few days, and, voilá, you can see again!
I gripe about a lot of things in the modern world, the cataract surgery is not one of them. It's a real blessing.
FWIW, J.S. Bach died of a cataract operation in 1750. They didn't cut the eye open in those days, but tried by manipulation to break open the lens, and, if everything went well, the patient wore thick glasses like people have done until the last 20 years or so. Bach developed an infection and died at age 65. Handel had the same operation by the same semi-quack doctor (it WAS the 18th century) and he only wound up completely blind for the last 9 years of his life.
Monet also developed cataracts, which is why some of his paintings have a fuzzy, yellow cast. Looks Impressionistic and all, but it had a lot to do with the way Monet actually saw the world. Eventually, he had real surgery, which, in those days, involved lying in bed with your head sandbagged for six weeks during the recovery. And the lenses were gone, so thick glasses had to replace them. Monet was so shocked at the colors of the new world he saw, he had a pair of yellow glasses made so he could continue seeing things the way he had grown used to.
Well the doctor said it was very, very slight and to come back in six months for another test.
My mom got them in her seventies so I still have some time to go. I hope.
I wear the kind of glasses that turn dark in the sun. Supposedly....this is going to help keep the cataracts at bay. It also keeps me from having to have several pairs of glasses. The damned things are expensive enough for just ONE pair.
I'm telling ya.
I ready for my little scooter and the yogurt that makes you shit.
When did I get so fuckin' old?
I had cataracts removed from both eyes two years ago, when I was 48. Had the doctor set my eyes for farsightedness, since I've been nearsighted all my life. I buy the cheap reading glasses at the drug store. Even found some at the dollar store. Totally disposable.
When the doctor first mentioned the cataracts, when I was about 45, I asked him if he wasn't about 20 years too early using that word. He didn't even flinch. I guess it's within his range of normal. But the nurse did call me her pediatric patient.
I woke up during the surgery. Didn't hurt. I didn't wig out. I joined in the conversation they were having. They were discussing Buzz Aldrin punching out someone who accused him of faking the moon shots. Anyhow, the nice lady with her finger on the knockout juice upped the flow and I floated away.
Yep, I was a bit older than Windbag, but basically the same thing. And, yes, I was the youngest guy in the waiting room. Unfortunately, I wanted to stay nearsighted, and got stuck with expensive glasses, but otherwise the story's the same.
They didn't put me completely out, just sort of zoned, however. I was making jokes with my ophthalmologist as they wheeled me briefly into recovery. It didn't hurt she was about the funniest, nicest person I've ever met. The anesthesiologist and nurses were all telling me how much they liked working with her. She was also the smartest person in any room I've seen her in, but she always managed to put everyone at ease. She told great stories (she was the source of the Monet tale), and everybody loved her. I had seen her for about 8 years before the cataracts, so I had a good chance to size her up, and was damned glad I got her to do the surgery before she ascended into heaven as head of an eye institute in Boston and stopped bothering with routine stuff.
I love that punch.
I watch it over and over again. He turns his hips into the punch. He's punching up, which should weaken the blow, but he knocks the much larger, younger guy back.
Talk about an American hero.
"You are a coward and a liar" BAM!
You forgot to mention West Point grad and Korean vet, lardo.
As a guy given to the conspiracy theories and a lover of civilized society, that punch just makes me happy.
Badger an old man, call him a liar, challenge his honor--has to be one of the most well-deserved punches ever thrown.
Zenni online. I bought four pair of nice prescription glasses for less than four hundred bucks.
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