"So here we back on the Red Sox network talking baseball with the disembodied head of Ted Williams. So Ted what do you think of the steroid story. I hear that A-Rod might get suspended for a 150 games."
"Like that matters. That greaser is never gonna play again. The Yankees have it all figured out. As soon as his rehab is over the league is gonna suspend him. Bud Selig will do whatever they want. I know the Yankees have a photo of Bud sucking the Milwaukee Bratwurst in the Brewers locker room and he don't want that shit to get out."
"Well why would that be a problem in this day and age Ted?"
"Waddaya mean why would that be a problem. Major League baseball hates the sissies. He could never go into a locker room again. What the fuck do you think this is the WNBA?"
"Well I think you are wrong but whatever. What do you think about the upcoming Yankee /Red Sox series?"
"The Yankees are gonna slaughter em like they always do. What did the fuckin' Sox beat them once in a 100 years. They shot their load. Just like Bud Selig on that Fairy mascot of his."
"But I thought you were a true Red Sox. How can you say that?"
"What do I give a shit about those scumbags. They let my idiot son cut my head off and stick it on a freakin' tuna fish can! Did they do that to Joe DiMaggio? NO! Did they do that to Mickey Mantle? NO! Did they do that to Fritz Peterson or Mike Keckich even though they swapped wives in the middle of the season? NO! The Yankees take care of their guys. Fuck the Red Sox and the toilet they play in. Now put me back in the fuckin' freezer my eyebrows are starting to melt."
"Ok Teddy Ballgame thanks for stopping by. Next up David Ortiz will try to speak English. Now a word from our sponser, Citgo Oil bringing you gas from a dead Venezuelan dictator."
9 comments:
Ted Williams's 1946 jersey sells for $184,000.
He doesn't need the fuckin' jersey. But you'll notice that his hat's not for sale.
Warren Spahn's son, who I met w/ Warren in the restaurant bar, just sold ALL of his old man's memorabilia. He got 900k.
A little searching turns up some great info about Spahn.
He no-hit the Giants 1-0 in 1961, and lost 1-0 against them in what may have been the greatest pitching duel ever.
The game was won in the bottom of the 16th inning on a Willie Mays solo HR. Both Spahn and Juan Marichal pitched the entire game.
Spahn was 42 years old.
Hey Troopski, appropos of nothing, I saw a bit of the movie "The Sin of Harold Diddlebock" this evening and there was a quote in it that reminded me of someone.
Isaiah 28:
7 And these also stagger from wine and reel from beer:
Priests and prophets stagger from beer and are befuddled with wine;
they reel from beer, they stagger when seeing visions, they stumble when rendering decisions.
8 All the tables are covered with vomit and there is not a spot without filth.
9 “Who is it he is trying to teach?
To whom is he explaining his message? To children weaned from their milk, to those just taken from the breast?
10 For it is:
Do this, do that, a rule for this, a rule for that; a little here, a little there.”
There is more, but I think you get the drift.
The movie starred Harold Lloyd, and was directed by Preston Sturges. Maybe some day I will see the whole thing. It was actually kind of interesting, but I had to do some work.
ChipS, Spahn would throw 25 complete games a season. And, he could hit. Most wins of any lefty, 362!
Make that 363.
When it comes to games, I prefer the More Clues Online Version of Trooper York's Special Things Are Not As They Seem Art Edition of Double Jeopardy, designed to present two parallel topics at once, accompanied by one pictured clue and the question-to-be-asked's answer.
Under Disembodied Heads AND Strange Things Wives Ask Their Husbands To Do For Them,
She ordered a platter of this for the party
and this under Famous Ticks & Grudges AND Fooling Where They didn't Belong
"He reproved Herod for unlawfully messing with his brother's wife.
Yanks aren't gonna do squat for a long long time. The Old Man was an execrable human being but a passionate owner who would kill to win. The sons are businessmen. More important to them to keep the payroll under the point where they have to pay a so-called luxury tax, I believe that kicks in above $189 million, than to win it all. Hey, they're comfortable. Who needs a fire in the belly when you're comfortable, right? The fans? They'll bellyache but keep coming, which apparently is good enough for the sons. So sad, NOT.
That is why I miss George everyday.
You know who is like George? That KGB guy who bought the Nets. Except when someone pisses him off he calls a phone in Brighton Beach and has Alexie shoot somebody.
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