So the wife and I have started watching this new cable channel.....Me TV. No it is not about me....but it has all of the great programs from the fifties and the sixties. Gunsmoke. Bonanza. Perry Mason. Combat. 12 O'clock High. The Twilight Zone. The Honeymooners. The Untouchables.That Girl. The In Laws. Peter Gunn. The Rebel. Branded. The Rifleman. The Big Valley. Cannon and Barnaby Jones. The original Hawaii Five O. The Brady Bunch. Mission Impossible. The original Star Trek. Just about every old time series that I write about here.
Plus all these great commercials about cheap cell phones, little scooters and yogurt that makes you shit.
So I have been having a great time recording these shows and late at night we catch one or two of them. Some really hold up well. Peter Gunn is great. He is a private eye who gets in a jam every week but punches his way out of it. And every week he is at the jazz club where his really hot girlfriend Lola Allbright sings and trusts her pointy tits at him. It is really super cool.
And then there are artifacts that just don't cut it.
We saw an episode of "The In-Laws." Man did that suck. The premise is that these two couples are thrown together because their kids get married. The two stars are the prim and proper Waspy Eve Arden and the ethnic stereotype (vaguely Italian or Jewish) Kaye Ballard. In this episode a bank robber holds them hostage. And the bank robber is played by Larry Storch (Corporal Agarn from F Troop). It sucked monkey dick.
But what was really freaky was "Love American Style." First of all the first segment had Phyllis Diller on it. You know the one who just died like a couple of days ago, That weird-ed me out to begin with. The next segment was even worse.
This really freaky looking actor named Richard B Schull played a locksmith. He is fixing the lock on this apartment and he sees this hot chick going to her apartment. It was a pre-Mash Loretta Swit. You know Hot Lips. He intercepts her and fiddles with her lock. She tells him it is fine and tries to close the door in his face. But it springs open and it is his chance to mack on her. He keeps asking her creepy questions and gets her to put locks on more and more things. Her windows. Her phone. Her refrigerator. The drawer she keeps her panties in. Then he installs this electronic device that locks everything at the same time. She is warming up to her and offers him a glass of wine. When he says yes and she goes into the kitchen.....he locks every lock in the joint. Now if it was TV today he would rape and murder her and the guy from "Darma and Greg" would show up looking all worried and shit. But this was just creepy single rape fun.
You know. Love American Style.
Seventies Style.
We watched the whole show with our mouths open. ( and not just because our implants hurt).
I think if Amanda Marcotte and some the boring heads twats saw this show their vagina's would fall out.
Hey....that's not such a bad idea.
21 comments:
I don't remember a single episode of Love American Style. That said the theme song was absolutely addictive:
Love American Style, greater under red, white and blue - ooh - ooh - ooh,
Love American Sty - eye - aisle, that's me, that's you.
Logged a lot of miles in the shower singing that.
And rubbing yourself thinking about Judy Carne.
Just sayn'
Richie Cunningham's father played Phyllis Diller's husband in this episode.
Judy Carne the pixie? Where's the beef?
We watched the whole show with our mouths open. ( and not just because our implants hurt).
His and hers hurts?
Judy Carne was steak pie.
Yeah we both had implants done the same day.
Lisa had one but I had two done.
We figured to get it out of the way.
They can't put the teeth on until December.
On the Steve Allen show
With John Williams on piano
Henry Mancini was at times a genius.
The old shows I'd like to see again are 77 Sunset Strip and Route 66.
Plus the Mickey Mouse Show because I was all about Annette Funicello in my yute.
"But this was just creepy single rape fun.
You know. Love American Style.
Seventies Style."
Hilarious.
I used to stay up and watch that show on Friday nights when my parents went bowling. I loved the fireworks that exploded at the beginning and during sexy part.
And everyone was always doing everyone-wasn't there always some brass bed floating on a lake or in a pasture or on top of a telephone "pole". It was sex, sex, sex on that show, and I guess in the culture-I was too young for those days but it was probably a good thing that I wasn't running around at that age. In all likelihood I would be dead today and you guys couldn't hear about my pinched loafs.
The Cowsills sang the theme song-but surprisingly they were from Rhode Island (I believe)-doesn't that sound like a Wisconsin band name.
Shull was a staple on TV and in the movies for decades!
Creepiness was the watch-word for that show. It was very Benny Hill.
I was gonna say that Kaye Ballard was a hottie back in her day but, no, she wasn't.
She could sing, I guess. You could still get by (as a woman) back then if you could sing. Now you don't have to sing, but you better look good.
Seriously, though, anyone ever seen that Benny Hill bit where he comes upon the frazzled girl, all bound and gagged, and he ungags her and asks what happened?
And she says a bunch of ruffians tied her up and raped her. He listens sympathetically.
Then he starts unbuckling his pants and says, "Lady, this isn't your day."
Hilarity!
The only way that punch line could be worse would be, "Lady, this is your lucky day."
It's weird that nobody would do that kind of skit today, yet we celebrate schmucks like Daniel Tosh.
I am telling you that it is great to watch these sixties shows and catch the subtext that would never be allowed today.
Kay Ballard was really horrible in that show. So over the top that she made Rhoda's mother look like Dame Judith Anderson.
There is nothing like a Dame.
There is nothing like a dame
Used to dance around the kitchen and cook supper to an 8 track of South Pacific. Happy Talk was a favorite with the little guys. With Dames, the "What don't we get? You know darn well!" part made me laugh.
I also liked (and still do):
So suppose a dame ain't bright
Or completely free from flaws,
Or as faithful as a bird dog,
Or as kind as Santa Claus,
It's a waste of time to worry
Over things that they have not,
We're thankful for the things they got!
MamaM, I have a cousin who has the same bedroom set from the 70's. There's an 8 track in the headboard.
There's an 8 track in the headboard.
Good times with an 8-track!
Celebrate good times, come on
It's time to come together
It's up to you, what's your pleasure
Some old beds, overwhelmed by years of celebrations, can do little more than squeak!
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