Lately we have been having quite a few of our customers come in to shop and we have been taking them out for dinner and drinks. It is a relaxing end of the summer so we can get away. When someone comes in who was on the show we usually take them out for drinks and dinner as sort of a thank you.
On Wednesday it was one of the girls who was on the show and her mom who came to the store for a girls night out. They shopped...went for lunch....then shopped some more....and went out with us for drinks. We went over to my favorite Enoteca where I ordered a cheese plate and a thin crust pizza just for us to munch on. As I had said they have great cocktails and we ordered some for a pre-dinner drink. Now the Mom asked for a Black Russian but Jay the waiter brought over a White Russian instead. Which I thought was better because your Russians should be like your presidents.....so the woman wanted to send it back. I said wait a minute bring it right over here and I enjoyed it along with my rum and coke. All in all we had a great time. After our customers left we went out to sit at the sidewalk cafe to enjoy a final drink and some funny stuff happened (but that's for another post).
Anyway this past Thursday Jenny Gems came to the store. She brought some rings for me to look at as I am getting Lisa a new wedding ring for our Anniversary. So we were checking the stuff out and she did some shopping and we decided to go for dinner. But we wanted to do something different. You see Jenny used to live in the neighborhood before she got married and moved to the end of Long Island. So she knows a lot of the joints and has her own opinions. The last couple of times she came by on a Monday and we ended up going to Casa Rosa to eat as she likes the food. As you might remember I have a beef with the owner so I don't like to go there all that much but the few times we go with Jenny Gems means we won't be totally at war. I mean I spent so much fucking money in the guys place and he would just bust my balls. After he closes up he liked to ride in his car real slow and look in the windows or the sidewalk cafes to see where people we eating. He never failed to tell me as I would be walking by "I saw you eating in the Thai Restaurant last night....or....hey how come you went to Marco Polo instead of my place." Why? Because you are ripping me off man that's why. Jeeez.
Anyway we decide to go out for a drink and back to that Yuppie joint Watty and Meg because the food was ok and Jenny wanted to try it. But their drinks sucked so we decided to go to a bar for a cocktail first. We go down to Smith St and walk along to see what we can see. We pass a couple of joints and decide to go into this dive called the "Zombie Hut." This is hipster doufous central. It is a Tiki Bar with all the decorations and they specialize in rum drinks like a "Frozen Zombie" or "Mai-Tai's" and "Singapore Slings" and shit like that there. It was full of kids in their early twenties. Their very early twenties. I have stains on my underwear that are older. The girl behind the bar looks like she is twelve. She gets our order. Now we are sitting at the end of the bar. Three people in their fifties. I mean we are too old for this joint but unlike most of the other dumb fucks in there we have money and won't be ordering three dollar PBR's all night. She pours the drinks. And then she asks me for my credit card. SHE ASKS ME FOR MY CREDIT CARD!!!!!!
Now look I know how this works. Most joints let you know when you go in. But I am almost never asked. Because when people see me they know I am a bar guy. And that I am not going to run out on a check. Look you stupid cunt I am fifty fucking six years old and I don't run out on my bar tab. I have been drinking on Court St for thirty five years and nobody ever asked for my credit card. Ever. I wanted to yell "DON'T YOU KNOW WHO I AM!!!!!!!!!!!!" But I mean you can't do that. I just said "Fuck that sweetie" and put a $100 on the bar. And mumbled to myself. But the wife and her friend were having fun taking little monkey drink things out of the swizzle stick glass on the bar so I just sat there and minded my own business.
I am too old for this shit. I like a real bar where you are treated with the respect you have earned by being a functional alcoholic for so many years running. You know where you can get a great cocktail and not have be bumped into by a bunch of douches doing Jaeger shots and PBR's while rooting for the fuckin' Jets on the TV.
I am turning into a fat Clint Eastwood!
GET OFF OF MY FUCKING LAWN AND I WON'T GIVE YOU MY CREDIT CARD YOU DUMB CUNT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
16 comments:
I like a real bar where you are treated with the respect you have earned by being a functional alcoholic for so many years running.
Trooper FTW!
I really shouldn't have written that comment for a couple reasons:
(1) Allie will start to think that I'm like edutcher--here on every comment thread.
(2) Ritmo will have more ammo that I'm a late night drunken commenter.
The guy in the car driving real slow to spy out who's eating where they shouldn't instead of eating in his joint? This comes out of a life that's so high rolling he's in constant anxiety about his income falling behind his outcome (outgo?). Well, that's one theory, anyway.
I count you had three drinks in a row, bing bang boom, entertaining whoever you were entertaining after work. That would put me under the table.
Last confession of ignorance: what's the difference between a black and a white russian?
Speaking of high rollers, what you dole out in terms of food, drinks and gifts in a weekend would put me on rice and beans for the rest of the month you dirty capitalist, you.
A white russian is vodka, Kahula and milk. A great drink for you ricpic if you are not a drinker. It tastes like a really great milkshake.
A black russian is just Kahula and vodka. It just doesn't work as well. So to speak.
You don't have to worry chickie. Almost everyone shows up on each thread now a days since I am so busy that I only put up a few posts.
Plus Allie is busy with her wedding stuff so I doubt she will be on the web tonight.
Three drinks in a row are an appetizer.
Back in the day I was good for about twenty to thirty in a nights drinking.
Of course that is from 4:30 in the afternoon untill 4 in the morning so it was no big deal.
But I am out of practice these days.
Hey, don't knock the Mai Tai. Invented by Trader Vic himself, it's an excellent way to get drunk fast.
Trooper, I'm w/ you on the credit card horseshit but I'm seeing it more and more in cities.
Of course you all remember the Dude loved Caucasians. I saw an interesting video on Buzz Feed about the real Dude, the guy the Coen brothers based the character on. He is called the Dude and was an anti war activist in Seattle. "But there I go..rambling again."
I mean I always throw cash on the bar. This way I can see what is going on. But the broad was really pushing it.
And she was twelve years old.
Hell, even in Kentucky they know to start a tab for you and square up at the end of the night. I thought the difference between white Russians and black Russians had something to do with Chernobyl.
Nick brings the Dude reference so I don't have to!
"You ever hear of the Seattle Seven? That was me. And six other guys."
You know, you oughtta be flattered.
No so much that she thought you were going to run out but that she thought you could run fast enough to get away!
blake, The real dude was part of the Seattle Seven and actually served a year @ the Federal joint on McNeill Island. If you watch it, the video gets tedious after the Dude gets in the taxi headed for the Lebowski Fest in Tampa.
At least you had a hunski in the wallet and weren't left fumbling with some limp tens's or wrinkled twenties.
Twelve is about the age the early twenties crowd stopping relating to anything other than a cell phone and computer. They don't know how to read the signs, the wind or the skat.
I'm going to Allie's daughter's wedding. I'll be dressed as a busboy. A busboy with a camera in his necktie.
The world's oldest busboy!! I've have many hidden cameras, a key chain one is very good.
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