Wednesday, July 10, 2013

What if?



The rest of the world realize that soccer is really, really gay?

Would they start to watch baseball?
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9 comments:

chickelit said...

Even American sports questionable overtones. In football there's the intimate hand contact between the QB and the center's hindquarters. In baseball, there's the whole pitcher/catcher metaphor.

July 10, 2013 at 11:27 PM
chickelit said...

OTOH, there's really nothing gay about ice hockey.

July 10, 2013 at 11:28 PM
Evi L. Bloggerlady said...

Golf? Oh wait, the LPGA...nevermind.

July 10, 2013 at 11:41 PM
rcocean said...

It hasn't hurt the WNBA

July 10, 2013 at 11:55 PM
TTBurnett said...

No, but they might start watching American football.

I met a Dutch woman a couple of years ago on a sales trip to the Low Countries and related parts of Germany (think Flanders, Brabant, and the old County of Limburg. Europe has lots of mini-countries of an antique sort that don't coincide with modern countries.)

Anyway, she was a local flute teacher (I was doing a musical instrument show. I'm in the flute business), and she was very proud of her teenage son. The son played football—American football—not "football" as soccer is known in every country but the US. Several other people gathered around, including another football mom, but German in her case, and a Dutch Patriots fan, I found myself in the middle of a pretty good discussion about the NFL. I looked at the healthy, Midwestern-type people. I looked out the window at miles of corn fields. And I listened to them talk football and complain about taxes and how stupid the Government was. I thought, "Well, the airplane made a wrong turn, and I'm in Ohio." (They all were speaking English, too)

Several things told me I wasn't in America, though:

The people were healthier.
The beer was better. A LOT better. You have no idea.
The girls were prettier, especially bar girls in the roadhouses.
The roads and the street signs were in perfect shape.
The corn fields didn't have a speck of dirt out of place.
And they never once mentioned the Giants. At least that told me I wasn't in New York.

July 10, 2013 at 11:58 PM
Evi L. Bloggerlady said...

Wisconsin does have good beer.

July 11, 2013 at 1:30 AM
Icepick said...

Hey, did anyone ever stone an umpire to death and then quarter the body and stick the head on a stake on the pitcher's mound at a baseball game?

I mean, I pretty much find soccer as boring (and soccer fans as annoying) as the next red-blooded American. But give them some credit for handling poor officiating in a fun, family friendly manner!

(Manson family, that is. Charlie still don't surf, but you never know what those wacky Californians might do the next time he comes up for parole.)

July 11, 2013 at 2:52 AM
ricpic said...

Si se puede quarter, decapitate and stick head on spike.

The Dutch are a magnificent people, physically and otherwise. And they were astonishing (to me at least) long before America's decline. When I was eleven I roomed with a young Dutch couple while I attended a summer school in upstate New York. Stunned. Absolutely stunned by their glow. I know that sounds affected but there's no other way I can think of putting it -- they glowed. And the breakfasts!

July 11, 2013 at 10:43 AM
ndspinelli said...

Tim, Great anecdote.

July 11, 2013 at 11:04 AM

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