A visit to the Hall of Fame

Well actually it was the wax museaum. We went with the granddaughter. She saw it as we were driving by and wanted to go in. It is a very touristy thing to do. Full of people visiting New York. But what the hell.

It was kind of interesting. You take pictures with famous people. Everyone was lining up to take photos with Tupac and Biggie Smalls and Lady Gaga.

When I went to take a photo there was no line at all. I wonder why?

Yes it was full of all my heroes. And illegal immigrant children from Guatemala who didn't give a shit.

If only we had a real President.

WTF Al Roker?

I mean seriously?

What the fuck?

Sorry My Bad!

I have been extra busy lately and under a lot of stress. This morning I was in at the crack of dawn as they are installing a new camera system in both of the stores and I am working with them and taking calls and all kinds of bullshit.

So in between I am cleaning up the blog and delete mistakes and I accidentally deleted the first "Voices Carry" post. I appolgize to all of youse who put up posts. I think Lem might have announced his move to Florida there so I want to let everyone know about it who didn't catch it yet. Lem announced that he is moving in with a sibling in Florida so he will be out of touch for a couple of days. Just what Florida needs another white Hispanic!

On another front I want to praise Lem for his response to Lawnboy who demanded that Lem delete a comment from Shouting Thomas who said that Meade, Althouse and Crack sent him an email soliciting money for Crack. Lem took it right to him and it was hilarious. I believe Shouting 1000% because Crack has sent me emails asking for money before. So it is totally reasonable that Lawnboy and the Evil Blogger lady would solicit bananas for Bubbles their pet. It is just a shame that he has been away from there for so long and now there will be a shitstorm.

I just want Lem to know I am behind him 1000% and he should do what he thinks is right.

Voices Carry

I got the video to load.

I think we could be too paranoid about who is watching who and who is reporting back to who. I think it is not as big a problem as you might think.

But as always your mileage may vary so youse need to do what works best for youse.

The work continues apace

A slow fucking pace.

Now we had two Mexicans working for us earlier in the week doing the rough painting. Putting on the primer and various scut work. Omar told me he had extra special Mexicans to do the wallpaper.  I asked them what made them so special. Did they sneak into the country in the trunk of a Cadillac instead of a Chevy? No. They were supposed to be expert wallpaper dudes.

Imagine my surprise when he showed up Saturday morning with a couple of brothers from Bed Stuy. Fair enough. I talked with them and they seemed to know their stuff. So they went to work.

They did the side wall and of course we had a problem. They were supposed to have enough to do the back wall but there was not enough. The dude did a great job matching up the repeat but we ended up with just one roll left. Not enough to do the back wall. So we decided to do the front portion which has a lot less wall space.

So he had to match the repeat on a lot of hard to reach places. They had to come back on Sunday and the one dude worked until ten at night. They got overtime which I was glad to pay but I let Omar handle it. I was going to give him another tip but Omar said no way. It is pretty funny how he doesn't like to tip.

His partner is already freaking out since they seriously underbid the job. I am not going to screw them and I will make it right so they make a reasonable wage. Still half of what it would have cost me with the other guy so it is a bargin. But it lets me teach him how to run a business. He kept forgeting stuff we talked about because he didn't write anything down. I told him he had to write out the whole job and then do the estimate. Then when I put on extra's he would have to adjust the price. He has no idea how to run a business. This is his maiden voyage as a contractor.

When you are a virgin you are going to get fucked. Just sayn'

Another late night......

While we put together the Japan order.

Or rather Lisa, our granddaughter and Nicolette our new employee put it together. I am banned because I was exhausted yesterday and I am still general contracting the renovation that is going on simultaneously. I was ordered to sit down and rest while they pack up all the boxes. We are going to deliver them tomorrow. It is the culmination of about five months of work. A start to our new wholesale business.

I have been banished to handling paperwork, printing and procuring food. Which is what I am good at so we had great hero's from Vinnie's of Carroll Gardens.

Plus lots of water to stay hydrated.

Nick gets pensive

When people dis him. Especially when he is offering to help someone.

Nick is the real deal and anybody who has a problem with him has a problem with me.

Well except for his wife. She is always right. Like my wife.

But other than that I won't stand for any crap from busybody internet nutjobs. Just sayn'

Working round the clock

We have been super busy this work. Packing up the Japan order for delivery on Monday. Finishing the back store. Lots of complications and problems.

After dealing with back store all day we started packing the Japan order. I had to call for food to eat in and we decided to get Greek. All appetizers. Dips and fries and spinach pies.

Eat and back to work.

Whose that girl?

She was married to a famous actor who was a much bigger knucklehead than I thought. I didn't know his politics or I never would have enjoyed his movies.

The rumor is that she was his beard but they say that about all the Hollywood types so who knows the truth. She was know as a great actress in serious roles but she was kinda cute in her day.

She starred in a movie that gave the name to a popular band in the 1980's and won an Academy Award.

Whose that girl?

A fine Scottish Sport

I know you are all too classy to watch the Real Housewives but there was an epic shit-storm last week on the Real Housewives of New York City.

Noted lunatic Aviva Drescher is famous for being a cunt and for having a artificial leg. She is also a raging hypochondriac who comes up with a new ailment to get out of going on the stupid trips that make up most of the season.

At the year end party it all came to a head and Aviva showed up with her X-rays and doctors reports and in a fit of anger threw her prosthesis out on to the middle of the dance floor.

Of course Aviva is of Scottish origin and was only indulging in that famous old timey pursuit of the clans as she gave a robust example of "Tossing the Femur."

They just use fake legs like they use aluminum bats.

Nobody sticks with the old ways anymore.

Marilyn's Diary

I always loved my Aunt Lily. She would come to visit us in the old country and stay with us for months at a time. My Dad was her favorite brother and she loved to visit and prey on the towns people. As a succubus she would lure the burgomaster into the woods and suck out his life's essence little by little. It was a terrible thing in the end but Aunt Lily was always kind and she would suck out his essence from his penis so he never complained.

You see Aunt Lily was a very beautiful woman. Her green tinged skin was a turn on and her luscious lips were so inviting that she never had to go long to get a new vict....err partner. Until she met Uncle Herman. She was true to him. Since he was dead they could have sex and he would never lose his life's essence. It was a match made in heaven.

She was devastated by the divorce. She went wild for a while and really fell into a tail spin of sex, drugs and rock and roll. Finally in the new century she managed to turn it around. She got married again albeit to a greasy Mexican Realtor. She even went back on TV.

I was never ashamed of her when she was a soul sucking succabus. But now I must admit that I don't admit we are related.

Who would want to admit that they are related to a Real Housewife?

The back store story continues......

We are in the midst of an intensive renovation of the back store. As you might remember the original contractor gave me a crazy estimate and I had to drop him. Omar and his merry band of Bengali cab drivers stepped in. They are trying to set up a construction company so I agreed to let them do the store.

His buddy Sam is the electrician. He ran all new wires and set up new boxes, switches and fixtures. He seemed to know what he was doing and did a hell of  better job that the other guy who did the box in the cellar.

I bet he could fix your computer or help you with your Dell questions too! He took direction well and when the wife changed her mind he just did it without an argument.

I had to serve as the general contractor on this job just like I did on the front store. Not that I know jack shit about construction but I know how to ask questions and get information and make decisions.
I just ask logical questions and translate Lisa's wish list into something that is possible. Also I can control the quality of the materials. When you hire a contractor he just uses any old shit. I got the best of what we needed. For example I went to my friend Vinnie's True Value Hardware to get top of the line Benjamin Moore Paints and Primers. We got them all tinted gray which is the color scheme of the store. Of course I got ripped off because the guy oversold me so I have to go to Vinnie to have it out with him. I know he will make it right. They mixed it up now with some new fangled computer bullshit. I remember when they did it by hand and shook up the can and then stirred it for  a half hour to mix it.

When you are running a job you have to get workers. I have the Bengla Desh guys working for me but when they have shit work to do like sanding and spakling you know what they do. They get Mexicans.

Now the problem with Mexicans is they yes you to death and then do what ever the fuck they want unless you stand over them. So I had the Bengali's arguing in their language and then arguing with the Mexicans and everybody yelling at the top of their lungs in different languages. It was the United Nations of Fuckwads.

I made Omar the straw boss on the job. He handles the hiring and working with the crew. I set the task for the day. Then we head to Home Depot or True Value and get the supplies. He handles the day to day and I stop by periodicly to check the progress or answer any questions.

Omar is very happy at getting the job and is working very hard to make it perfect. This way he can use it as a showplace to send people when he is bidding for jobs. We make a good team

It is just pretty exhausting. This is the first chance I had to sit all day.

It is all good. We are getting it done.

House of Pizza Update

Lisa tells me I am corrupting Omar and all of his little buddies. They are mini-trooper yorks. Now they all go to the Italian bakery for apple turnovers and espresso. They curse out the "Dirty Yuppies" and the "Dirty Hippies." They all hate Obama and De Blasio. Want to get guns and not pay taxes.

And they all want to go to the House of Pizza for a slice.

Now that my Granddaughter is here Omar is driving us around a lot. Plus we are working on the back room so we are going to get supplies and lighting and this and that. So when we have to stop for lunch I say "Where do youse guys want to go?" They all shout "The House of Pizza and Calzone."

This was one of the three places I ate lunch every day when I was in grammar school. It is right across the street from the panele store on the other side of the highway. It will be in a couple of scenes in "Joey Gallo's Lament" if I can ever find enough time to pick up the story.

They have great pizza. Even better Sicilian slices. But best of all is the deep fried calzones.

These beauties are deep fried in oil that has been there since I was in grammar school. Deep fried in their crusty glory they have no meat on Fridays which meant that Omar could have some today since he doesn't do pork. I had to forego it because of my diet. Having a slice of pizza was bad enough. Or good enough.

But everybody else had a grand old time. Worth the trip.

I am lucky it is ten blocks away and too far to walk to on a regular basis.

How you doing...............

We are really, really busy these days. Everything is coming to a head. We are doing the back store. As you might remember the contractor tried to kill me so I have Omar and all the Bengali cab drivers in Brooklyn doing the renovation. Plus we are putting the final touches on the Japan order that we have to deliver Monday. Plus the regular work both in the store and on-line.

Best of all our granddaughter came to stay with us for two weeks. So we have to take time to take her out and do fun things. And make the rounds and say hello to all the people in all the stores and restaurants that remember her since she was a tiny baby.

Yesterday I got dressed up in my best gambling shirt and my short shorts as we would be traveling all around Brooklyn. We went to True Value Hardware and Loews and Home Depot. Got lunch at the House of pizza. And then we went to the carousel.

I was too fat to sit on a horsey plus I wasn't up to it so I got to sit on the little wagon thing. The carousel is in a beautiful location in Dumbo between the Brooklyn and Manhattan Bridges. It is in Brooklyn Bridge Park which is one of the jewels of New York City.

We walked through the park and enjoyed the fresh sea air on the way to the carousel which you can see in the background. If you ever get to Brooklyn I recommend that you take a minute to go by the park. You can see the Freedom Tower in the background. That was where the Twin Towers used to be.

I might borrow the horsey head. I have a couple of pillows I need to leave it under. Just sayn'

The Case of the Traveling Collections

My dear Holmes,

It is your most humble petitioner, Inspector Lestrade. It has been quite some time since I have last requested your assistance in the troubling matter of the disappearance of Lord Douchebag and the obscene affairs of the odious Lady Chatterley and her grass stained lover. Today I must ask for assistance in an entirely different matter.

We here at the Yard are well aware of the secret work you brother Mycroft had formerly been engaged with the Foreign Office. It is the reason we have not inquired too closely into the comings and goings of various swarthy sepoys, tattooed lascars and young deaf boys in his rooms at the club. A recent difficulty with certain foreign powers has caused some concern with my superiors and I would like to address them with you.

However it seems that the Yard must now make inquiries. It has come to our attention that your brother has been evicted from his lodgings and is temporary indisposed. He has found shelter with friends in Hampshire  as he has temporarily ended his work with watercolors and etchings that had previously been his hobby and salvation. I know that your brother has never sought remuneration in the amount that his talent deserves and therefore is temporarily out of pocket. Dr. Watson has told me that he was forced to store most of his furnishing in the attic and basement of one of Mrs. Hudson’s other properties but that this situation must soon come to an end. Dr. Watson had stated that you are trying to gather sufficient funds to move these treasured items to your much loved siblings new abode so he might continue his avocation of creating beauty in this troubled vail of tears.

Please know that I would endeavor to contribute to the cause along with my brethren including Inspectors Gregson, Higgins and Reade. In fact many of those who you have aided in the commission of their duties stand ready to contribute what they can. The salary of a mere constable or inspector is not great but we still can contribute something to help your estimable brother.

Please be sure to inform me of how to transmit these funds so they might be most properly be utilized. I would imagine it would be expensive to safely transport Mycroft’s collection of narwhale tusks, rubber garments, hookah bowls and statues of hairless Greek boys. Early begun is soonest done so I beseech you to keep your friends informed as to how we might assist in this endeavor.

My best to Doctor Watson and I hope he is recovered from his recent troubles with his distended bowel. When last I saw him he was in great pain and I hope he has found ease by resting his fundament on that circular pillow of his invention.

I remain as always,
Your obedient servant,
Inspector G. Lestrade
November 12, 1898

Lem said his keyboard got all sticky

He has to stay off those Red Sox fan sites from the Dominican.

That will mess up your computer right there let me tell you!

Betty Rubble is a Dirty Girl

Betty Rubble is a dirty girl.

She had always been curious about being with a woman but she was a little scared. But she wrote a letter to Shouting Thomas to ask him what he thought.

He said it was ok.

Betty knew he would.

Because you see.....

Betty Rubble is a dirty girl.

Poll Who is your favorite Private Eye?

We had this discussion over at Lem's but I thought it was only fair to have you guys weigh in here. Who is your favorite private eye?

Jim Rockford

Spenser

Mannix

Mike Hammer

Nick Spinelli

Nichols

RIP Maverick!

Hey how does this work again.......

They had another transformer fire this past Thursday a couple of blocks away. It was right in front of this new hipster restaurant where Vinzees used to be. This was the space that used to be a Dairy Queen and a dry cleaner. The old Italian couple that owned it wore the same sweat suits for forty years and still had their communion money. They also bought four brownstones in the neighborhood so they have no complaints. But their idiot son convinced them that he should open a restaurant. They said ok but he had to serve ice cream. So me made a glorified Dairy Queen and lost his shirt. He had put in an ultra expensive kitchen so this next joint lucked out. You always want to be the second one in a new space. Let the first guy take the hits and walk in and fix it afterward.

Anyhoo a couple of blocks were knocked out. But it was hit or miss. One brownstone had power and the one next door did not. We were lucky that we had electric.

Because the Con Edison guys are still trying to figure it out.

Hey if you are a big ass......

You need a big chair.

This is the one they ordered for Mayor De Blasio.

He is the biggest ass in NYC.

Just Deserts?

I have to be careful what I eat these days. No salt. No alcohol.

Last week we went to Marco Polo because we worked late at the store. We walked in and one of Lisa's girlfriends was sitting at the bar with her husband. That worked since we were only going to have appetizers so it was no big deal. The only problem was that Tony the regular bar tender was on a cruise so they had the manager working the bar. This was a young dude from Naples all dressed in black who had a giant mop of uncut hair like a fuckin' mop or something. A real ginzo of the current school so to speak.

I have a funny relationship with the guy. He started as the manager while I was sick in the hospital. I hadn't been there in about four months or so. So one day Lisa and I walk in and he stops me at the desk. "Hello do you have a reservation?" "Yeah right pal." We walk in and sit down at our favorite table. The waiters see us and the all come over to hug and kiss me. Marco comes running from out of the kitchen and Joe the owner from the office. So the guy figures out that maybe we had been there before.

Anyhoo he was bar-tending. He made Lisa a Cosmo that was adequate but not like the one that Tony makes that I put a photo up a few weeks ago. I was just going with Cranberry juice per my new instruction. So the group was enjoying cocktails and then wine with the appetizers while I was just chilling. Now Lisa's friend's husband is someone I know for about fifty years. He is an arrogant douche of the first water.  But I can get along with any sort of asshole. I mean I have dinner with Spinelli all the time. But this dude spent his time talking investments with the ginzo bar-tender who should have invested in a freaking pair of scissors for fucks sake. Anyway after we all finish eating he breaks out this personal dessert he made for everyone. It is Italian style. Fresh fruit soaked in a liqueur. It was delicious. As I was digging in he goes "Basta I forgot you don't drink. There is alcohol in this." I go "Relax Furio, I am just sick not an alky. I can have a little I am not on the wagon."

It was pretty tasty. Melons, berries, peaches and grapes. Very refreshing.

Left holding the bag......

So my granddaughter flew in from Florida and we went to meet her at JFK. She is fifteen now and she is a mini-Lisa. They are two peas in the pod. They ran off and left me holding the bag. And the purse. And the stuffed animals.

Lisa tweeted this photo and JFK retweeted it. So thousands of people got to see Grandpa is grumpy.

Whose those girls?

They are the stars of my new favorite show from England. Can you guess why?

It is a pretty cool sci-fi show and it is admirably cheesy. That's cheesy not cheesecake although that is pretty cool as well.

Whose those gurrrlllsss?

I support this douchenozzle 1000%

Noted douchenozzle Liberal Bob Beckel is in trouble for using the word "Chinaman" in a diatribe about immigration. Now I disagree with just about everything that this asshole has to say. He is the liberal antagonist on several Fox shows and always spouts the tired liberal progressive line. Now the chink in his armor is that his compatriots are turning on him. Just as he wouldn't give a senile fuck like Donald Sterling a break or a stroke victim like Imus or a insult comic like Anthony Cumia now it is his turn to be roasted over the coals. Because if you don't stand up for someone you don't like or someone whose views you hate then when they come for you ....well you are on your own.

He doesn't have a Chinaman's chance of surviving this one.

I had to call out my minions...

Because we had to ship off our New York Fabric to California. As I might have mentioned the fucking Chinese cunt who was doing my manufacturing has been ripping me off like crazy and when we started questioning her she was suddenly too "busy" to do our stuff. So we had to collect all of our fabric and ship it to Cali for it to be done about 80% cheaper.

Omar and I got the stuff and brought it to the back store which is still waiting for the construction to start. We got the guys together and started packing up the fabric.

We wrapped the fabric up in brown paper and then put it in the plastic fabric shipping sleeves that I had to buy to ship it without damages. Sometimes we combined a few rolls that only had odds and ends on it.

We had to pack up and label about twenty five rolls of fabric. We had twist ties for the end after we got all of the air out of the envelopes. With the World Cup blaring in the background on a Iphone we worked away a Sunday afternoon.

Thank God I have every Bangledeshi cab driver in Brooklyn on my payroll or I would never get anything done.

Now they are working on running my cable line to the next room. Life is strange sometimes.

There he goes again!

So the Pope is quoted as saying he is going to work on "solutions to priests celibacy!" Now what is that about?

It seems that a lot of these stories are being stirred up from an interview he did with a 90 year old journalist who does not record interviews or take notes. So it could all be baloney. It could all be the media stirring up stuff. It could all be enemies and opponents of the church stirring up controversy by putting words in the Pope's mouth.

But why is this happening so often with this Pope? Why is this a recurring controversy? There seems to be a lot of damage control by the Vatican. I know I am in a distinct minority but I just don't get it with this Pope. I mean it used to be that Popes would stir up controversy by speaking about Catholic doctrine that runs counter to the secular/atheist/ progressive/libertine world view of the press. Not so much with Pope Francis.

I have to confess I just don't get this.