He was an animal.
(Stan and Jan Berenstain "Son of Boo Boo", The E True Hollywood Story of the Berenstain Bears)
Saturday, August 4, 2012
The Summer of Boo Boo
He was an animal.
(Stan and Jan Berenstain "Son of Boo Boo", The E True Hollywood Story of the Berenstain Bears)
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I went out for dindin with friends and had a great time tonight. Afterwards hung out at one of their homes with everyone's dogs.
I did something bad. My rare clumber and I walked by home and he ended up pinching a loaf right in the driveway to my building. I didn't want to go all the way up to my Penthouse Unit so I looked and my car and used the water bottle bag/cardboard bottom. Well it didn't pick up all the turd so I picked the remaining ones up with my bare hands and through them in the fabulous gardens that the real estate queens keep an eye on constantly and love to death. Tomorrow I will need to get down there pronto and clean them up. The water bottle bag is sitting there too. But sprinklers go on all the time and I hope they don't go on before I scoop up the turds.
tits.
I am happy to report that I was able to get the cardboard/bag and shit picked up out of the fabulous garden this morning.
If that bag was gone this morning I would of been a wreck. There are tons of dogs in this hood but my sense is the queens know my rare clumbers loafs-because they are huge and sometimes have white hair in them from when they bust out of his ass.
I actually thought if I opened my door this morning the turds would be on my doormat.
Well they were dried up and attached to the bag/cardboard still in the fabulous garden.
Today is going to be a super day.
tits.
The last summer of my great old dogs life he was somewhat incontinent. On a hot August day I took him for what I figured was his last swim @ a local lake. The big boy shit in the lake! I had to skim off the quickly softening turds w/ my hand. There were swimmers in the area otherwise I would have said, "Fuck it."
Thank you spinelli. Now I don't feel so bad.
Shit happens and sometimes you are not always prepared. I usually bring three bags with me on our walks and sometimes he actually pinches 4 loafs. Especially if he is on the ocean. There is something about the beach and ocean that makes him constantly pinch. The first one starts out strong and by the fourth his ass is just spitting up shit. I also need to keep his ass shaved because his hair gets long and the shit can get in there and cause a huge mess. There can be a backlog of shit.
Shit happens Titus. You have to do the best you can.
I applaud Titus's respect for private property.
Now, about the Fens...
Titus, The boardwalks on the San Diego bay have the best shit bags ever, and they're posted free every few blocks.
How do you know about the Fens Chip?
You told us about it before.
I think it was the last time TT Burnett commented.
Do you guys like Lobster Rolls?
I had one tonight.
They really vary from restaurant to restaurant. The lobster is usually the same-it's fucking lobster-but it is really all about that most important bun and how they prepare it.
tits.
OK, Chip. Got it.
Do you know the lights from Fenway shine down on the Fens? It can make it very romantic.
Yes, there's Titus's Boston, and then there's the Boston many of the rest of us inhabit. That isn't to say Titus's Boston is made-up or anything. It's just us "nahmal" straighties think of places like the Fenway one way, and Titus regards it completely differently. Titus is a connoisseur of bushes in which to fuck, while the rest of us worry about how to get back to the Museum of Fine Arts parking lot to get our cars before it closes.
One is "fab," and the other not so much.
I should tell you about my own "fab" dinner the other night. My wife and I drove all the way to "fab" Quincy to have dinner with the semi-newly-arrived English Music Director of St Paul's, his loverly wife and a sweet, 30-ish Nun who's between communities and staying with them for a couple of months.
Well, here's basically how I told it on Facebook:
Had a lovely time last night at very nice dinner. I won't say with whom, but only that it's a vile canard that the English can't cook. The drink consisted of noble products of the distilleries of Amsterdam and the vineyards of Paso Robles.
I'm afraid, however, I went on too long about my favorite hobby-horses, to wit:
1. The escaping Scottish scion of a noble line of ornery & ancient nullities who, in the Year 1635 bolted from the precincts of Aberdeen for the Tidewater of Virginia, patent in hand from King Charles to set up as sot-weed planter, and who is my umpteenth Great-Grandfather. The progress of the family from this gentleman as "Cavalier & Person of Quality" to his descendants as "hillbillies" may be an old American story, but one I don't emphasize when I veer into 17th century Scottish political economy to change the subject.
2. The history and development of the flute, from the 13th century to the present. Thank God I am not a glazier, because my poor interlocutors might then be subject to an History of Putty.
I will only say I really AM working at shutting up.
I continued in a comment thusly:
Should I say, "an History," or, "a History?" I've been reading so much Addison & Steele that my brain is stuck on "Queen Anne."
I figure if Trooper and Titus can go on about their dinners with friends, I should be able to do the same, la-di-dah as mine tend to be.
Tim is correct, but The Fens is definitely not fab.
It is really quite sad.
But for all it's sadness I have done some great work there and pulled in Aplus hog.
I have also had horrid nights there just walking and walking the paths looking for Glory and settling for Shit.
Do you guys know John Malkovich lives on the next street over from me. I see him at the coffee shop by me constantly. He is fucking ugly. But he is very conservative....and living in Cambridge, two blocks from The People's Republic Bar. Weird, huh?
The laurels are all cut, the year draws in the day, and we'll to the Fens no more.
I'll bet TTB recognizes that.
TTB, nothing la-di-da about Amsterdam distilleries and Paso Robles wines.
I don't mean to be arrogant but I am the most important poster here. I have been the most important "thing" in everything I do. That is just my way and just me.
I hate to admit it but that is the fact.
I attract attention because I am fab, rich, hot, yet incredibly un-conventional. And I am totally fucked up and dangerous and odd too. And I am highly educated and actually pretty smart-in terms of the business world. And as the poem goes, I Risk All Absurdity. And take lots of risks, hell I have been held up many times being in unsavory places..just in order to get hot thugged out or foreign unsavory hog.
I am a dichotomy wrapped up in an enigma and surrounded by smegma-that is me-Titus.
Enter my world at all risks to you and your family.
Love me or hate me but that is my creed.
Lastly, none of those qualities would matter if I wasn't really hot.
And, again, I hate to admit it, but I am pretty fucking hot.
One previous lover told me I wreak of sex. I embrace that. That is me. And when that dies, I become a gentlemen farmer in Wisconsin.
But that day hasn't died yet.
"Wreak" of sex?
As in "cause a large amount of damage or harm?"
I think your admirer meant, "reek," as in "Auld Reekie," the pre-1740's nickname for Edinburgh, because it stank so much before the elegant Georgian improvements made it the city it is today.
See? I can turn anything into Scottish history.
I understand Palladian reeks, too, which is why he is in the perfume business.
Chip: I think that's a parody of the A.E. Houseman poem, and "fens" is, of course, Fenway Park. Did Roger Angell write that?
TTB, you're right on all counts, as I thought you'd be.
It's the opening line to Angell's NYer essay on the 1967 season, which brought baseball back to life in Boston. Just a beautiful piece of writing.
I often turn to it for comfort during seasons like the current one.
"Wreak" of sex?
Cry "Havoc!", and let slip the hogs of whores.
Off topic, but you hair cut post is missing someone. EBL (the other one). She stole my style.
Titus, I am not surprised Malcovich is conservative. He and Gary Sinise started out together in Chicago theatre and Sinise is conservative. My question is, how do you know? Is it the coffee he orders? The scone?
ndspinelli, to answer for Titus, I would say in his sexual position preferences with Titus--but that is Kevin Spacey, not John Malkovich, that I am thinking of...
I don't care for Gay Bears or their younger mate, The Cub.
A Gay Bear actually growled at me once when I walked by. I felt so violated.
tits.
It is know that he is conservative. People have said it on the movie sets he has been on. That stuff spreads like wildfire in Hollyweird.
But he is a Hollyweird Conservative like Kelsey Grammar=they all still love the gays and gay marriage.
Mel Gibson is an exception...he hates the gays.
tits.
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