The history of the Wink

The history of winking is a long and storied one. The first person to have documented as having winked in public was Nell Gwyn the famous mistress of King Charles II. She was reputed to have winked at the King as she was standing in a rope line outside the Globe theater during a revival of one of Ben Jonsons lesser known plays. The king noticed her and had his henchman bring her back to the palace for a tet a tet. There he discovered an interesting fact. A woman who could wink also had the ability to flex the muscles in her vagina in much the same way leading to an indescribable sensation that he could never get enough of as long as he lived.

(A Wink and a Nod, The History of the Wink by Wink Martindale, St. Martins Press 2008)

It was an established fact that Dolly Madison first caught the eye of the diminutive Congressman James Madison at a soiree in Philadelphia where they were introduced by Aaron Burr. It seems that Dolly was wearing one of her many eye catching outfits which included an expansive décolletage as well as her trademark turban. The tiny lawmaker was abashed and did not know where to look. So he kept his eyes down. But he notices something incredible. The sultry widow had rearranged her dress in such a way that a man of such short stature could actually look up her petticoats. As he began to blush and thought about making his excuses, she winked at him. He looked up at her face. She winked at him again. Only this time with her eye. They were married six weeks later.

(A Wink and a Nod, The History of the Wink by Wink Martindale, St. Martins Press 2008)

The most famous winker in the nineteenth century was of course Emilie Charlotte Le Breton who is known today by her stage name of Lillie Langtry. An incredibly beautiful and vivacious woman who was born on the isle of Jersey. She caught the jaundiced eye of the Prince of Wales Albert Edward who was the heir to Queen Victoria. He arranged to sit next to her at a dinner party where she proceeded to pout and wink and make such a sweet moue of longing at the portly prince to the point that she drove him wild. She became his principal mistress and proved once again that woman who was adept at winking also had an extremely strong command of the muscles of her vagina where she actually milked the rotund roué of his manly juices. She developed this ability during her career as itinerant player on the boards in England where she would often take gold shillings off the bar without using her hands. This gave her and unusually strong degree of control to point where she could suck up a half pence from six feet away. When Lilly went on her grand tour of North America, poor Bertie became so distraught that he began the series of murders that were laid at the feet of Jack the Ripper.

(A Wink and a Nod, The History of the Wink by Wink Martindale, St. Martins Press 2008)

Winking has most often been the province of women but it had also traveled into the world of the love that could not speak it’s name. Just as drag queens would often exaggerate the behavior of sexy woman, what became known as “wink” queens would ape the behavior of the famous female winkers. The most famous of these was of course Hans Winkler of Holland who won the Silver Skates award in Amsterdam in the 1869 underground World Homosexual Fair. He was able to wink his anus to such a degree that he was awarded the coveted prize by Judge Oscar Wilde who was quoted as saying “Illusion is the first of all pleasures, but nothing is as sweet as a winking hienie.."
(A Wink and a Nod, The History of the Wink by Wink Martindale, St. Martins Press 2008)

The most famous winker of the silent film era was Theodosia Burr Goodman who went under the stage name of Theda Bara. A direct descendant of Aaron Burr, Theda Bara had learned at the “feet” of her grandmother the secrets of winking. These arcane arts were original taught to Theodosia Burr the daughter of Aaron by Dolley Madison in gratitude for her father having set up Dolley with James Madison. This was a secret series of exercises that had led to a strange and marvelous ability of a woman to control her man with a mere wink. Theda Bara winked her way to the top by seducing Charles Fox the head of the Fox Studio that produced many of her hits including the infamous “Cleopatra.” No prints remain of this film as the Legion of Decency had burned every copy. The most legendary film of the silent era, this epic tale postulated that the Egyptian Princess seduced the noble Roman Julius Caesar by the simple expedient of winking. This simple plot would seem innocuous but eagle eyed censors realized that it was not only her eyes that winked. In fact her gossamer costume left nothing to the imagination and led directly to the Motion Picture Code and the Hays office which took all the fun out of movies until the 1960’s.
(A Wink and a Nod, The History of the Wink by Wink Martindale, St. Martins Press 2008)