Thursday, July 11, 2013

Talking Baseball with Ted Williams Disembodied Head!



"Hey Ted how are you doing today"
"I'm fucking freezing you dick. I am stuck to a can of tune fish in a fuckin' Frigdaire how the fuck do you think I feel numbnuts?"
"Please Ted we have children listening."
"Fuck em. No seriously lets fuck em. I love those hairless little....."
"Ted enough about your social life. Waddaya think about the season so far?"
"Well the Sox are in first place. Thank God they got rid of the moron Bobby Valentine. The douche bag couldn't get laid in a Japanese whorehouse. Seriously when he managed in Japan he never got a fuckin' happy ending in the massage parlor because he was too gross for whores who like raw fish.
What the fuck's up with that?"
"Well that is as may be. What do you think about the latest steroid scandal?"
"Not much. Suspend the fuckin' lot of them. I mean that dumb spic A-Rod is always fucking up and he ain't playing anyway. Thank God the Yankees got stuck with him. And that Ryan Braun. He is always sticking things in ass. We need to teach him to stop with the needles and confine himself to getting stuck in the ass with Aaron Rodgers dick."
"Errr right Ted. We will be right back after this word from our sponsors.

11 comments:

Methadras said...

My father-in-law went to high school with Ted Williams and played baseball with him too. He knew Ted Williams and he admired him from all the stories he had told me when he was living with us. He's passed on unfortunately, but the one thing that my FiL always prefaced a story with Ted Williams in it was that he was a 'fucking asshole, but I liked the guy.'

Trooper York said...

I heard he liked fucking assholes too.

Specifically Johnny Pesky.

But that's another story.

Chip S. said...

Ryan Braun was a big TW fan until he found out that being an accomplished fly fisherman didn't mean what RB thought it meant.

Methadras said...

Trooper York said...

I heard he liked fucking assholes too.

Specifically Johnny Pesky.

But that's another story.


I'm going to need to séance my FiL to get the real poop on that. Shit, I hope crack doesn't see this.

ricpic said...

Standard Yanks Fan: Jeter's back! We're saved! Saved!

Same Fan's Inner Sane Guy: And soon A-Rod'll be back.

Standard Yanks Fan: OMG. Make it stop! Make it stop!

windbag said...

I know it goes without saying, but it doesn't hurt to point out the fact that the Mets suck.

ndspinelli said...

Methadras, Obviously your Father-in-law is from San Diego. Still live there?

Methadras said...

ndspinelli said...

Methadras, Obviously your Father-in-law is from San Diego. Still live there?


Yup. San Diego. Still here, living and working here. I grew up in the east county. So did my wife. We live 2 minutes from the high school she graduated from. Most of my family is here. I have other family scattered throughout the US. My FiL went to high school with Ted Williams. I have two signed autographed baseballs that he gave to me a couple of years before he passed away. Told me to put them in safe keeping. After high school my FiL went into the Navy during WW2. He was at Pearl when it was attacked. He was attached to the Nevada. He got out of the Navy after that and went into the USPS for 25 years. I know that's more info than required, but I loved that man, so I tell his story whenever I can. :D

ndspinelli said...

Methadras, It's a great story, thanks. We spend winters in Mission Beach. I love San Diego.

Methadras said...

ndspinelli said...

Methadras, It's a great story, thanks. We spend winters in Mission Beach. I love San Diego.


Where in mission? I work in La Jolla in the village.

ndspinelli said...

We stay on Jersey Court..700 block. Be happy to meet you in The Village or sponsor a cocktail on our patio. You can hear the ocean, but not see it. Hearing it @ night is like going back to the womb.