The Rifleman

Lucas and Mark McCain rode into the town of Northfork to pick up some supplies. They had to do that every episode because Lucas was too poor to buy everything at once and he always had to find new people to shoot. He couldn't just wait for them to ride up to his porch.

They stopped at the general store and tied up their horses. Lucas had a long list and he wanted to spark Miss Milly without his son hanging around.

"Why don't you go off and find your friends Mark. I have to do some bidness with Miss Milly and I don't need a youngun underfoot." Mark laughed. "Are you going to knead Miss Milly's titties Pa. I think they need some kneading like our sourdough mash." "Go on with you son before I cut a switch and give you a whooping. Miss Milly's titties are none of your concern. Go spark some young filly your own age. Go on...git"

Lucas playfully swatted at him with his hat and Mark scamped off down the street.

He saw his friends Nick and Timmy standing in the street. Well actually Timmy was standing there holding his flute with his other hand in his overalls. Little Nick was laying partly under the boardwalk trying to look up ladies dresses. He had a bad habit that way.

"Hey Timmy. Hey Nick." "Hey yourself Mark how are you?" "What's you doing?" "Nuthun. Just waiting for school to start."

Nick got up from under the boardwalk. "It is so dead in this town. I hope your Pa is going to shoot someone. Maybe Lying Larry. That would be mighty fine." "I don't think so" said Mark. "Lying Larry has been very quiet lately. Old lady Annie must be keeping him right busy down at her spread. He must be plowing or sumtin I don't reckon we want to know the details." "Darn tootin' we don't" said Timmy as he kept squeezing both of his flutes"I don't want to even think about her spread.""Hey let's take a walk down to the pond. I hear a couple of the girls might be having a picnic down there today. Maybe we can pull their pig tails or get them to chase us or sumtin like we do at recess when school is on." Nick just shook his head at his friend. "That's kid stuff Timmy. Why would you want to do that? You need to just talk to a girl. To get her to take a walk with you. Out in the woods." "Why would you do that Nick" asked Mark. "I don't know but my brother does that and the girls always come back with their dress on backwards. There must be something to it. I want to try anyways."

The three boys walked out to the pond on the road side out of town. Four of the girls from town were having a tea party at the old swimming hole. They had spread a blanket and were sipping from pretend cups of tea and chattering away. There was little red headed Ruthie and Queenie and RC and little Debbie. They seemed to be arguing.

"I don't believe it" said Ruthie. "President Grant wouldn't do that. He won the war after all. He wouldn't be all mean to the Injun's like that." As usual Queenie was full of good sense. "It was all that Custer's fault. He didn't know his beans and he got all his men kilt. It is as simple as that. Don't be a fool RC." As usual nobody could understand what RC was talking about. She sputtered "Well I knew before and said then what was and could be but so it goes." Ruthie shook her head and turned to Little Debbie. "Do you know what she is talking about?" Little Debbie shook her head. She leaned in closer and confided in her friends like she knew a big secret. "It was the Hebrews. They were behind the Indians killing our soldiers. Everyone knows that."

The boys looked at each other. Stopped in their tracks. Turned around and walked back to down.

"Let's go look in the window of the Mercantile" said Nick. "Maybe we can watch Mark's Pa squeeze Miss Milly's titties. We don't want to be a part of that mess back there." "Amen" said Mark and Timmie in unison. Some things are better not to fool with. Even a kid knows that.