Hey if Obama wants to name someone to a cabinet post how about a real tough cookie.

If they are going to name someone to a post in the cabinet I want to nominate my favorite seventies actress for Secretary of Whoop Ass. Pam Grier.

She could take Condi and Hillary with one hand tied behind her back.

Wait, Pam Grier tied up....eh.....I will be right back.

Hey Baby it's cold outside.

It was kind of cold in Brooklyn today, but we have very good insulation in the store. When I built up the side wall I insulated it very heavily so it is always very warm. The women often protest and ask that we leave the door open to cool it down. But you don't want to leave it open too long because they start to get cold. It can get very noticeable.

I always tell them don't point those things at me unless you are going to use them.

I will let you figure it out.

(PS that's Joan Blondell believe it or not)

But the French Do Stink.

New York Post Weird but True (December 14, 2008)

This place stinks.

A strong garlic stench has descended on a British town, forcing residents to stay indoors and shut their windows.

The pungent smell seeped out of a cracker factory in Poole that was making a new garlic treat.

"The whole town stinks like a Frenchman," one resident said.

The French really suck but I think the Belgians might be worse.

New York Post Weird but True (December 14, 2008)

Some women would give an arm and a leg for a slimmer figure. Belgian Sonia Ringoir gave her newborn twins.

Ringoir, 31, was arrested in Ghent for selling her tots to a friend so she could afford liposuction.
The money-hungry mama insists she didn't sell her children - she gave them away.

Julie London sings! I Melt.

I was running the Ipod this morning as we were very busy. So I got to pick the Christmas Music and played my favorite jazz singers as they wailed all the classic Christmas tunes. Satchmo, Ella, Peggy Lee, Anita O'Day, Nancy Wilson and of course the one and only Julie London.

I recently turned on the Western Channel and they had a rerun of an old Big Valley with Julie London playing a Confederate Spy. She was simply stunning. She didn't sing but man did she look great. And let me tell you, with her and a young babeilicous Linda Evans there was more than one big Valley if you know what I mean. Yowza.

"Here's a stick to beat the lovely lady with."

The history of the depiction of the relationships of men and women and violence are as old as the history of the motion pictures. Tracy and Hepburn, Gable and Colbert, Stewart and Dietrich all were depicted in various famous movies engaged in hand to hand combat in the battle of the sexes. But my favorite pairing of all time is of course John Wayne and Maureen O’Hara.

The famous liberal icon and all around nasty cunt Pauline Kael once disparaged Maureen O’Hara as portraying a “John Ford” woman whose main job was to keep the home fires burning and say things like “Be careful Matt.” As usual the incoherent feminist twat had no idea what she was talking about. The women of the John Ford films were tough enduring pioneer women who were creatures of their times but who were full partners with there men. Even the citified Claudette Colbert who moved to the rough Frontier in Drums along the Mohawk, toughed up and became a full partner with her husband in the fight for survival. And no one was tougher than Maureen O’Hara.

The first pairing of Wayne and O’Hara in Rio Grande has always seemed to be the best to me. They were originally meant to star in the Quiet Man but the Studio insisted on the cavalry movie first to pay for the quaint Irish tale. The themes of honor and duty and sacrifice recur throughout Fords work and he sets up the contrast between Colonel Yorkes stern dedication to his honor and Kathleen’s devotion to a genteel ideal past of the antebellum south. North vs. South. Yankee vs. Confederate. Man vs. woman. The continual battle of opposites that attract each other. It is a staple of all the movies that Wayne and O’Hara made together.

In the Quiet Man, they are transported to Ireland as Sean Thornton woos and marries Mary Kate Danaher despite the obstacle placed in their path by her brother the Squire. The comical fist fight between Thornton and Red Will Danaher is also a staple of most of Fords best work bring a measure of comedic violence to leaven the sentiment. You know he didn’t want it to be too mushy.

If Rio Grande and The Quiet Man were the work of the master, then McClintock is homage by lesser talent. Made by Wayne’s Batjack productions it was done at the time the studio system had fallen apart and stars had to finance their own projects. Wayne was able to get financing based on the fact that it was a Western and starred him and O’Hara which was considered money in the bank. Loosely based on the Taming of the Shrew the comic violence and conflict between the rough hewn frontier and the civilizing influence of a woman were also in place. Directed by Andrew V. McLaglen, the son of Victor McLaglen who played Red Danaher as well as Wayne’s faithful sergeant in so many Ford Films. McLaglen had a long career directing Westerns but he is of course just a pale imitation of the Master. And he was constrained by Wayne’s sensibility as he had his pet writer pen this trifle of a home movie. Also starring Wayne’s son they basically copied the comic fight scene from the Quiet Man but made it between a Wayne and O’Hara with a lot of slapstick thrown in. So it is not quite fair to judge McClintock in comparison with the work of the master John Ford.

Still, it is miles better than the crap these assholes produce today.

Obama is on his Honeymoon.

All over the internets everyone is talking about the honeymoon or lack of same for the President Elect. I think he has really escaped a lot of scrutiny. The press has really given him a free ride and now it is time for some of them to play catch up. A lot of the stuff that they covered up before the election will start to come out now. This way they can pretend that they have integrity. Much like they did when they were in the tank for Clinton. They knew he had a big problem keeping his cock in his pants and that it would eventually blow up. They did let out dribs and drabs as they were fed by the campaign. But eventually it came out. It always does.

Giants step on and squash the Cowboys tonight.

Tonight on the NFL the WORLD CHAMPION NEW YORK GIANTS will smash and step on the Cowboys who have a lot to say but don't seem to back it up. I can't wait to see it.

Here is the most famous cowboy, Tony Romo.

Not that theres anything wrong with that.

I have a nominee!

On Althouse today:

blake said...
k--Does that mean we'd have a Secretary of Slapping? Department of Discipline?

My philosophy in a nutshell.

Mary Kate Danaher: Could you use a little water in your whiskey?
Michaleen Flynn: When I drink whiskey, I drink whiskey; and when I drink water, I drink water.

When I learn how to do something I alway's over do it!

I want to apologize to all my female readers. I just learned how to imbed photos so naturally I am concentrating on hot chicks and farm animals. So if I am too much out of line, let me know. A good smack will be much appreciated.

I want my blog to be fun for everybody. Just remember that I am an idiot.

When you assume you make an ass out of U and Me!

Darcy wanted to know if the photo I downloaded of J-Lo in a previous post was photo-shopped.

I can barely type let alone do all that technical jazz. If I didn't have blake showing me how to do stuff I would really be lost.

But that gave me a chance to post photo's of two of the best asses in the known Universe. Gentlemen, start your engines.

Oscar Gamble or Sinead O'Connor?

I got a call from a friend of mine from the old days. He was the piggiest pig of all the guys that hung out together at the Seaport back in the day. He was a hound from the old school. He would just walk up to women and ask them if they wanted to have sex with him. 99 out of 100 would slap him or tell him to fuck off or whatever. But surprisingly he would often find someone before the end of the night. He's married now with three kids living in Jersey. But the funny thing is all he wants to do is talk about the old days. And the joke was always about how he would describe the girls. He had two categories. The Oscar Gamble and the Sinead O'Connor. I will let you figure that out.

Spector Shoots himself in the foot.

New York Post Page Six (December 13, 2008)

PEOPLE in Pennsylvania, at least Republicans, aren't as politically correct as the citizens of New York. Sen. Arlen Specter was the speaker yesterday at the Rainbow Room for the annual meeting of the Commonwealth Club, a group of Keystone State Republicans who come to Manhattan every yuletide. A witness reports Specter began by asking if anyone in the room was Polish. About 10 guests out of hundreds there raised their hands. Specter deemed the number insignificant and forged ahead with some supposedly funny Polish jokes, including the old one about the man who interrupted him once, saying, "Hey, careful. I'm Polish!" Specter said he responded, "That's OK - I'll tell it more slowly." Specter also told two other tasteless jokes in the same Polish vein. "No one walked out, but it was offensive," said our source. "I was offended, and I'm not Polish."

Jeeez this guy can't stay of trouble. He shot himself in the foot again....what...it's a different Spector...Nevermind.

Tara Reid goes to Rehab. Sun rises in East.

Tara Reid on Red Carpet for Emmy's

New York Post Page Six (December 13, 2008)

TARA Reid is finally trying to get her act together. The blond pixie from New Jersey entered rehab yesterday to rid herself of her boozy demons. People magazine reports that Reid "checked herself into Promises Treatment Center," the Malibu facility that spit Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan back out after brief stints. But her rep would not say exactly what the 33-year-old actress-turned-clothing designer was in there for.

Don't call me Shirley. And don't call me Good.

New York Post Weird but True (December 13, 2008)

One Florida woman didn't wait for the long arm of the law to reach out and grab her, she reached out and grabbed it - hard.

Shirley Good, 40, allegedly grabbed a cop's groin and gave it a squeeze and twist after the officers tried to stop her drunken tirade.

He managed to subdue her despite the pain.

Hey I have to start working on the menu for Christmas Day.

I am working on the menu for Christmas day. Ravioli and meatballs and roast pork and roasted potato and some other great sides are already on the menu. But my little cousin requested sausage and peppers old school style. My aunts used to make them in the feast as they had a stand in San Genaro and St. Rosalie and all the big time feasts. They gave it up just a few years ago but every once in a while I like to whip up a batch. The only concession I have made is that I hate to work with fresh peppers because they take so long to cook. So now I use Mancini peppers from the jar which means I can make this dish in about half and hour. I just barbecue the sausages outside while I fry up some onions. Then I add the peppers and some red pepper to the mix for some punch. After the meat is cooked I slice it up and add it to the mix to soak up the oil and the flavor. Good eatin'

Insomnia theatre has a repeat performance.

We are really exhausted after putting up the Christmas decorations, playing Santa and having a Soul Christmas dance party. So the wife made a special request. She wants to watch Johnny Guitar again so she can go right to sleep.

It's better than ambien for her.

Have yourself a Funky Christmas!

Hey we had our first Soul Christmas party as I had a live DJ spinning soul music and Christmas favorites in the store for your listening pleasure while shopping. It is going pretty well and we are going to do it every Saturday until Christmas and then probably at least once a month.

I love old school soul music that I used to listen to when I went to the movies on the Deuce back in the seventies or was playing ball in the schoolyard and the dudes had the boom box going.

This Irish Donkey kid who spins in Hanleys is a big soul fan too and I got him to DJ. Dancing and champagne and shopping ensued.

The Notions store.

When I was a kid there was always a five and dime dry goods store where you would go to get all kinds of stuff. Those aluminan pans to cook with. Plates and spoons and forks. Stryfoam cups. Cheap towels. Cheap toys. You know all kinds of shit.

Now these were allways owned by Jewish people. Just like the fruit stands were owned by Italians and the bars by Irish guys. But times changed and Koreans began to have all the vegtable stores and fish stores. The bars are owned by yuppie guys. And the notion stores are owned by Koreans as well.

Now I went all over Brooklyn to get red sweatpants for my Santa outfit. I wanted to go to the Army Navy store but now it is a place that sells lamp shades. Thats right. Just lamp shades. That guy has a super business plan.

Anyway I found this dingy old store chock full of everything. The door was locked and this diminutive Korean lady opened the door. She had one customer and older Spanish grandmother type who didn't speak English. Anyway they both decided that the white guy had to interpet for them. That was muy interesting.

When we finally got her squared away we let her out of the store and I was able to buy a fake beard. But I was really impressed with all the cheap crap she had in the store. I know where I am going shopping for Christmas this year.

Santa has left the building.

Well that's over.

I just finished playing Santa Claus for the Christmas Tree lighting in Carroll Park. The Court St Merchants sponsored a tree lighting ceremony and they asked me to play Santa. It could have been because I am the fatest bastard on Court St or because I would not have a problem embarrassing myself. Either way I had to carry the can.

Now the president of the Merchants called me to his hardware store on Sunday to pick up the suit. It was one that dated from about 1975 and had the original price sticker on it. $19.95 It was from an immigrant Italian family where the dad dressed up every year and he lent to us. The problem was that guy was about ten inches shorter and about 150 lbs lighter than I am so fit was kinka an issue. Imagine John Goodman trying to fit into Roberto Benigni's pants.

Anyway today I had to scramble to make it right. I went all over town trying to get a pair of red sweatpants as the costume pants wouldn't have fit me when I was seven years old. I finally found a pair in one of our big rivals, the very corporate American Apparel. I did make me feel good because the service really sucked. There were four people standing around who wouldn't help me because they were on a break. The cashier had to stop ringing up a customer to show me where the stuff was. If that was my store I would have killed them where they stood.When I finally got the sales clerk to show me where the sweats were and they only had large. Now normally I wear at least a xxl if not an xxxl. But I had to buy them because they were the only ones within thirty blocks of the store.

Then I hit every notions store or hardware store or Rite-aid that had Christmas stuff. I wanted to find an alternative suit or something. Anything to make it less ridiculous. I ended up buying a fake white beard in a novelty shop owned by this very harassed Korean lady. (more about that in another post).

Anyway when I got back to the store it was time to put the outfit together. Luckily we own a plus size store so I had an oversized black belt to wear. Of course it is one with about six buckles that we call the dominatrix belt but it was the only one that fit me and was wide like Santa's belt. So Santa was wearing and S&M belt. Step one.

Then I squeezed into the size large red sweatpants. Let's just say that Santa's package was squeezed pretty tight if you know what I mean. Luckily I am Irish so it wasn't too "big" a problem. I figured with the cold night shrinkage would take care of most of the rest of the problem. Step two.

I put on the hat with the white hair attached and put on first the beard from the costume and then the new beard I had just bought that would actually touch my lips.
You see I didn't know where Santa's beard had been before I got it. Better safe than sorry.

The only thing that saved me was my elf. Now the Dominican guy who owned the bodega next door was supposed to be my elf but of course he pussied out. No balls. So I had my cousin dress in a hot elf costume that she just happened to have in her closet. She had a green dress and multicolored tights and one of those jester hats and the pointy shoes that the elves wear. She looked adorable. She is a very petite size 2 which is very funny when she is working in a plus size store. She is only 19 and very hot so the dads were all very impressed let me tell you. I figured she could get most of the attention and I could avoid the catcalls from the peanut gallery.

Well my job was to go across the street after they lit the tree and greet the children and take pictures and hand out gifts. Of course it didn't run as expected because it was so cold that they speeded everything up. They started to give the gifts before I got there which was ok by me. You see I don't think the kids were really happy getting a calender from the Real Estate who is desperate to make commissions since the bottom fell out of the market. So I didn't feel too bad about missing that part of the program.

Anyway I went into middle of the crowd of parents with their little kids who were wide eyed at meeting Santa. In the dark freezing cold the retarded Santa Suit didn't look to bad. I had a few little jokes for the kids "Did you email me your lists kids because Santa doesn't do snail mail anymore" or "Sorry I was late because I couldn't find a parking space for my reindeer." The kids were ok with that because they were really tiny little ones. But when I asked them what they wanted for Christmas that the real trouble started.

"So what do you want, a rail road set." "No I want an hybird car with a small carbon foot print."

You see these were the devil spawn of liberal yuppies and we had no common ground. And the moms were a real pain in the ass.

"So what do you want for Christmas kid. An official Red Ryder carbine-action 200-shot range model air rifle" "We don't play with guns Santa, what's the matter with you."

"Hi kid what do you want for Christmas an Easy Bake Oven." "I don't force my child into gender specific roles. How dare you Santa."

"Hi guy what do you want for Christmas a Hess truck." "We hate the Oil companies. My Mommy says they caused the war."

"How about a GI Joe with the Kung Fu grip?" "My children do not play with war toys."

The only thing that saved me was that there were a lot of pussy whipped dad's who were grooving on my elf assistant with cold nips. So they were all smiles. One little kid was about three and his dad was holding him and I asked what he wanted for Christmas. He said "An elf." His dad said "Me too." About five or six of the other dads said "Yeah me too."

So I took a lot of pictures with the little bastards and their obnoxious parents and it is finally all over. Now I know why the Santa in A&S was always drunk out of his face. It's not the kids. It's the parents.

Ho, Ho. Ho.

Hey papi take a look at me now!

New York Post December 8, 2008
By Frederick Dicker

ALBANY - A prominent New York Democratic congressman publicly questioned Caroline Kennedy's credentials to replace Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton, saying she's no more qualified to hold office than Jennifer Lopez.

Rep. Gary Ackerman of Queens, a 25-year veteran of Congress, declared in a radio interview: "I don't know what Caroline Kennedy's qualifications are."

"Except that she has name recognition, but so does J.Lo," Ackerman continued on Steve Malzberg's radio show on WOR. "I wouldn't make J.Lo the senator unless she proved she had great qualifications, but we haven't seen them yet."

When she was informed of Congressman Ackerman comments, Jenny from the block went over to his office and displayed her very fine ass.

Congressman Ackerman said "Hey I am convinced, it's J-lo's seat in the seat. Unless Kim Kardashian moves to New York. Then all bets are off."

New York is determined to have the biggest asses in the Senate. With Chuckie Schumer we have one seat covered. Let's hope J-Lo gets in.

Hey Stav get me a double latte.

New York Post Weird But True (December 8, 2008)

Two Polish men escaped a horrible end - when they got up from watching TV to get coffee.

At that instant, a truck crashed into their house, crushing the chairs where they were sitting.

"If it hadn't been for the boring ads, they would have been crushed," a neighbor said.

I thought Pollacks only drank vodka.

And the beer they brewed their ownself.

Now they want the Yankees to spend more money?

The papers are full of hot stove stuff today because the Yankees announced that they signed CC Sabathia. Now they want them to go after Teixeira because Boston is after him. I don't think that is the way to go. We should sign Manny instead. He would be totally motivated to destroy the Red Sox and if we put him behind A-Rod than that douche might actually hit in the clutch because he would see pitches to hit in big spots because they don't want Manny to come up when the game is on the line. Manny is the real deal and a proven commidity. Pay him what he wants and if we squeeze two championships out of it that will be good enough for me.

Hey Doyle isn't the only Putz with the Mets.

The Mets have traded for JJ Putz from the Mariners in a three way which included Cleveland. With Doyle in the stands and JJ on the mound the New York Metropolitans will definitely lead the league in putz's this year.

The Reading list.

We were talking about books this week at Althouse and I just finished my third one this week. Ice, Iron and Gold by SM Stirling, which is a collection of some of his short stories. It was very entertaining. I also finished Paddy Whacked, The Untold Story of the Irish American Gangster which is about Irish gangsters through the years. And I reread Now and Then a Spenser novel by Robert B. Parker. Re-reading is one of the joys of having a big collection of books. Parker is particularly good to read again and again because they are an easy read on the train.

This week we have lined up a new biography of Frank Niti, The Wolf Sea a Viking adventure and the latest issue of the Grantville Gazette which I downloaded from the website.

Where theres Smoke.

So Smokey was all ready to take over as President of cartoon town when all of a sudden a big scandal broke out in cartoon town. It seems they had tapes of Yogi and Boo Boo planning on getting bribes when they had to pick the new symbol of the forest service. Plus they wanted to get Cindy Bear a no show job on a corporate board at Hanna Barbera. The DA the Tasmanian Devil wanted to indict everyone. The question was, what did Smokey know and when did he know it?
(Rudy Wendelin, Where theres Smoke, The E True Hollywood Story of Smokey the Bear)

Where theres Smoke

Smokey actually breezed through the general election. I mean nobody could believe that the other side had nominated Yosemite Sam. The only reason why it was close was because he had Snow White as his running mate. Everybody loved Snow White. She was warm and loving and a real family person. But then they started a rumor that Dopey was really her retarded son. It was very hurtful. And she couldn’t understand why Foghorn Leghorn got a free ride on the other side. He was always saying stupid stuff. Politics was just a dirty business.
(Rudy Wendelin, Where theres Smoke, The E True Hollywood Story of Smokey the Bear)

Where theres Smoke

Smokey never really said or did much. He was always just present you know. But most people liked him. And he could give a great speech. I mean he was always talking about ending forest fires and bring hope and change to all the boys and girls. Nobody gave him much of a chance when he ran against Malificent who was the wicked witch in Sleeping Beauty. They thought she was a shoo-in. Plus they were all scared of her. But somehow he won the nomination. She just couldn’t bear it.
(Rudy Wendelin, Where theres Smoke, The E True Hollywood Story of Smokey the Bear)

Where there's Smoke

A lot of the voters in cartoon town had their doubts when Smokey the Bear ran for President. I mean there had never been a bear of color elected to any post before. Plus he didn’t have any experience other than you know, preaching about Forest Fires and shitting in the woods. Plus everyone was a little leery of anyone who came from Jelly stone. I mean Yogi Bear had been mayor there for a long time and a lot of crooked stuff went on over the years. Someone was always dipping into the pic-a-nic baskets.
(Rudy Wendelin, Where theres Smoke, The E True Hollywood Story of Smokey the Bear)

Thanks to our customers.

One of the frequent posters to Althouse was kind enough to buy a couple of dresses from Lee Lee's Valise. And it wasn't even Meade.

Anyway I want to thank her very much. It is a tough business climate out there and even though we are doing well every little bit helps.

The liberals are killing the neighborhood.

A girl came into the shop and we were discussing how the liberals are destroying the neighborhood. She is living in Red Hook and sends her kid to PS 58 which is the local grammar school and is down the block from the store. We were marvelling how all the working class people were on one side of things and the Liberals or yuppies were on the other. By Liberal I mean the Yuppies who bought brownstones. You know the phony hipsters who have a sense of entitlement. The working class regular people whether they be Irish, Italian, Spanish, Black or South American all control their kids and are reasonable people. The yuppie liberal scum want what they want and will sue you if they don't get it.

And the worse part about PS 58 is that they have a lot of French people! I hate the French. They have a French language class that teaches the kids in French not in English. You believe that shit. It is the only one in the city. So all of these filthy Frogs want to get their kids in but can only do it if they are in the district because the seats from outside of the district are limited. But if you live in the district they have to take your kid. So this smelly French dude comes in and says "I will pay your electric bill for a year if you let me use your address to register my kid." I said "Sure there Corporal Lebeau just know that my bill is about a $1,000 a month." He shit his pants and ran as fast as he could.

I hate the French.

CC ya in the Bronx

Well the Yankees signed CC today at an exorbinat salary of over $160 million. With the economy what it is he better win every game. He would have been better advised to take less money somewhere else out of the limelight. They are going to rip him a new asshole.

The way sports franchises have rasied the ticket prices they are going to find that there will actually be empty seats. I think the Yankees are going to spend whatever it takes to make a run at the title because anything less will be a disaster.

So expect them to sign two out of the group that includes Sheets, Derek Lowe, AJ Burnett and Ollie Perez.

And they are going to sign Manny. Just wait and see.

It's Christmas time and the Homeless are with us.

The store is on the corner where all the people from the subway pass so occasionally a homeless guy will set up next to the outside wall. I would normally get him some coffee or a sandwich and send him on his way. It is often different people, I guess the pass the info that I am a soft touch around in homeless circles. But recently one guy set up with a whole rigmarole. A sign. A puppy. Everything to make him seem more pathetic. It was on Saturday and I couldn't have him in front of my store.

So I paid him $20 to go two blocks down to sit in front of one of my competitors.

With an extra twenty in it if he took a dump in front of their store.

Yelp can suck my balls.

Yelp has recently posted two very negative reviews of our store. They are definately
made by a sock puppet of one of our competitors. We threw the competitor out of our store during the last trunk show. She had her minions baltently checking out our clothing in view of copying them. We threw her out of the store.

Yelp had harrassed me for weeks to advertise on thier site with dozens of emails and phone calls. When I finally refused and demanded that they stop, these bad reviews appear and are highlighted. I think that site is a scam and they want protection money.

I think I will have to do something about it.

Mundane or Great Dane?

Sometimes you are at wits ends about what to blog about. The mundane details of our lives are not really interesting except to our family and ourselves. I hate to jump on the big issuses of the day because blogging about them seems really pretentious and silly. Nothing is funnier than going to someones blog and reading a whole dissertation like they were fucking Alistar Cooke, Alfred Thayer Mahon and Sun Tzu all rolled into one. So I avoid the big topics and mostly try creative stuff that bounces off the news stuff in a funny way. At least I hope it's funny. I recognize that often people have no idea what the hell I am talking about but that is no different than real life so what the hell.

Hey don't tell me anything.

I am playing tag with my boss at the accounting firm. I haven't seem him for two weeks which is kind of odd since it is a two person firm. But I am out now two days a week at the store and one day at clients so he seems to schedule himself not to see me or to call on the phone. It's just weird.

Dana Delaney's Plumbing?

We somehow fell into a discussion of Dana Delaney and I must repeat my assertion that she is by far the hottest of the "Desperate Housewives." I recently saw her on the Craig Ferguson show and she was delightful. I know most would put the Lois Lane chick as the hottest but not me. Dana is hot stuff.

Hey don't get out of the water until after they have eaten!

New York Post Werid but True December 7, 2008
This cat could give Olympic hero Michael Phelps a run, or swim, for his money.

A black feline in China has been swimming 50 yards daily in the Changjiang River for the last four months, along with the members of the local swimming club.

The cat began his regimen after being accidentally knocked in the water and swimming back to the boat on which he lives.

The most interesting part of the story is that cat always jumps into the river right before they begin preparing their evening meal. The cat named 開胃物 or kāiwèiwù has done this consistently for the past 468 days.

Someone should tell Guiness about Freder.

New York Post Weird but True December 7, 2008
Who knew the people over at Guinness World Records even measured this stuff?

Two Arizona doctors earned a place in the famed record book for surgically removing a 7-pound uterus without cutting the patient open.

It was the largest such hysterectomy on record.


The record for being the biggest cunt is of course still held by Freder Frederson of Birmingham Alamaba.

Although there is a school of thought that Rosie O'Donnell is closing in very quickly.

AJ's Eagles kick our ass the fucks!

AJ's Eagles kicked our ass fair and square. They just didn't try to kick enough field goals so we could get back in the game since their field goal unit seems to suck.

I did not expect that we would go undefeated for the rest of the regular season. In fact I am kind of glad we didn't have an undefeated season because that is what did in the Patriots last year.

They really should have tackled Westbrook because there was no way he should have run into the end zone so easily. But the problem is that middle linebacker Antonio Pierce has to check everyone pants before the play to make sure they aren't carrying a gun. He ain't gonna get jammed up like that again. No freakin' way.

CC your ass in the Bronx

New York Post December 6, 2008
By George King III

Brian Cashman likely will huddle with CC Sabathia tomorrow in Las Vegas if the free agent left-hander hangs around The Strip.

"I might," said the Yankees GM.

Cashman obviously will want to know where Sabathia's head is at regarding the six-year, $140 million deal the Yankees offered him a month ago - which he hasn't accepted. The offer could vanish at any moment because Hal Steinbrenner said it wasn't going to be there "forever."

Nevertheless, one thing is very clear to the Yankees: The Brewers are the only other team seriously interested in Sabathia.

Talk lately that the Red Sox are in play isn't being taken seriously in The Bronx, where the higher-ups believe Boston is just showing interest to make the Yanks increase their offer.

"They want (Mark) Teixeira instead," a source said of the Red Sox's plans.

Cashman traveled to Washington on Thursday and met with Teixeira and agent Scott Boras, who also represents free agents Derek Lowe and Manny Ramirez. Though the meeting went well, Teixeira didn't receive an offer from the Yankees.

I think it is pretty clear that the Yankees are going to sign CC because they are willing to spend what it takes to sign him. The Red Sox are just trying to drive the price up. I do think it is possible that the Yankees might move Robinson Cano for pitching if any is available. It will be young pitching not the usual suspects. Cashmen has gotten better at holding his cards close to the vest.

Have it your way

New York Post Weird but True December 6, 2008
She wasn't loving it.
A Florida man faces a domestic-violence charge for hitting his girlfriend in the face with a McDonald's cheeseburger.
Amid an argument in his car, the woman tossed his soda out the window.
In response, he slapped her with the burger. They got out in a rage, and he patty-whacked her again.

Thank God they don't have to go in front of the Burger court.

Home Shopping on Insomnia Theatre

Last night after we closed the store we went to the brick oven pizza joint at Hanleys to have a quick pizza and some wine. There was a bunch of women there sharing a table who were very loud and boisterous and make it a real Brooklyn crowd. They were neighborhood girls who were cursing up a storm. They were in their 30's and 40's and probably had a bunch of kids at home but it was girls night out and they were doing jaeger shots. It got messy.

Anyway for desert I had a Peroni and a shot of Jameson. Peroni is a light Italian beer which is my usual choice when I am drinking a light larger. The Jameson was oh so smooth and tasty.

When we got home we were so exhausted that we went to sleep without turning on the TV. Of course my wife couldn't sleep so about five she woke me up to turn on the TV so the droning sounds would put her to sleep. I left it on home shopping because at that time of the morning almost everything is an infomercial anyway. They had a two hour block of Boise products like headphones and radios and such.

It was better than a sleeping pill.

Skinny Dipping in Lake Titicaca

The most famous ship of the Revolutionary War was of course the Bonhomme Richard which was the flagship of the great hero John Paul Jones. This was the flagship of Captain Jones which sank during his epic battle with the British ship of the line the Serapis a 44 gun behemoth. The former merchant ship gave a tremendous account of itself before it blew up and sank at the end of the battle. However the stature it gained through this battle was not its only mark of distinction. Originally a French Merchant ship it was renamed in honor of Benjamin Franklin, the revolutionary envoy to France. Its main claim to fame was its figure head which depicted a beautiful woman with heavy breasts. These breasts were covered by two gnarled hands said to be modeled on Dr Franklins own. It is said he posed for the carving for over a month never moving his hands from the naked bosoms of his maid Sophie. She was also wearing a strange garment of Dr Franklin’s invention. He called it the suit of pants that he had his maids wear around his estate as they tended to his needs. It was one of his many foibles.
(Skinny Dipping in Lake Titicaca, Breasts in American History, Doris Kearns Goodwin Playboy Press 2007)

The second most prized figurehead in the American navy was that of the frigate the USS Constitution. The full breasted figurehead was modeled after the Greek Goddess Juno and displayed a full breasted and full figured sensuality which was the standard of the time. This ship was one of the original six ships authorized by the Naval act of 1794 and it is the oldest commissioned vessel afloat in the world. Old Ironside’s figurehead remains a wonder and delight to world not least because of its amazing facial resemblance to Raymond Burr.
(Skinny Dipping in Lake Titicaca, Breasts in American History, Doris Kearns Goodwin Playboy Press 2007)

The first lady with the most meager of bust lines was originally thought to be Eleanor Roosevelt who often wore drab and unbecoming outfits that not show her bosom to its best advantage. However due to the intrepid investigative reporting of the gynecological blogger Andrew Sullivan it has been determined that Hillary Clinton did indeed have the most meager mammary glands of any American first Lady. Nevertheless she remains a wonder and a delight to San Francisco Democrats not least because of her amazing facial resemblance to Raymond Burr.
(Skinny Dipping in Lake Titicaca, Breasts in American History, Doris Kearns Goodwin Playboy Press 2007)

The first lady with the most generous and toothsome of bosoms was of course Dolly Madison who was a widow and a “woman of the world” before her marriage to future President James Madison. Her décolletage was so spectacular that the President often used it confuse and distract political and diplomatic opponents during tough negotiations. It has been speculated that it was the display of her bounteous bosom during the negotiations with France during the Jefferson Administration that led to the Louisianan Purchase having been made at such a cheap price. Her breasts were immortalized in the naming of the city of Madison, Wisconsin which is generally considered to have the biggest collection of boobs resident in North America. Dolly Madison’s breasts remained a wonder and delight to all Americans not least due to the fact that they were as big as the bald head of Aaron Burr.
(Skinny Dipping in Lake Titicaca, Breasts in American History, Doris Kearns Goodwin Playboy Press 2007)

It is generally agreed that the first lady with the most dangerous bosom was Barbara Bush the wife of George Herbert Walker Bush. Although her bountiful bosom was to be expected with her matronly figure this was not the source of peril to her unsuspecting victims. Rather it was her unfortunate habit of clasping the unwary to her copious bosom in a hug and holding there while they feebly struggled to free themselves from her embrace. This lead to an unfortunate diplomatic incident when her husband was the envoy to China when she clasped the diminutive Prime Minister Cho En Lai to her chest for so long that she smothered him and he had to be revived by medical personal who were luckily on the scene. As a consequence she became know in China as 怪物 乳房 which means Godzilla tits which was a reference to the lovable monster that was a wonder and delight to all Asians as immortalized in a movie starring Raymond Burr.
(Skinny Dipping in Lake Titicaca, Breasts in American History, Doris Kearns Goodwin Playboy Press 2007)

At the Club

The Latin Quarter 2am at the Club.

Jorge Posada: Hey Jetes look there’s Plaxico and Pierce. Let’s roll up and say hello. (Derek Jeter, Jorge Posada and Joba Chamberlain walk across the club to say hello)
Derek Jeter: Hey the World Champs are in the house. What’s up player (Fist bumps all around. Derek notices an unsightly bulge in Plaxico’s sweats) Hey Plax I don’t want you to think I am Mike Piazza or anything but what’s up with your sweats.
Plaxico Burress: I’m packing.
Antonio Pierce: Yeah me too. Twelve inches bitch.
Plaxico Burress: Nah man, I got my gat. Anthony got jacked last week….ain’t no fool gonna do me like that.
Jorge Posada: Don’t you have a holster for that shit man. You can blow your fuckin Johnson off jefe.
Antonio Pierce; Yeah Plax I wouldn’t have room in my pants for two big guns ya know what I’m saying.
Joba Chamberlain: Look Mr. Jeter. Isn’t that Sean Avery the hockey player coming this way?
Jorge Posada: Oh shit, didn’t he dog you man on the radio, about your clothes and how he gets more culo then you.
Derek Jeter: Guys, com’on. He’s a fucking hockey player.
Sean Avery: Hey hosers. Or should I say losers. What are you doing around here Jeter? Looking to get my sloppy seconds.
Jorge Posada: You gots to be kidding jefe. Jeter gets more pussy than a port-a- pottie at the Lillith fair.
Derek Jeter: That’s ok, it’s not a competition. You know you make yourself look bad when you say stuff like that.
Sean Avery: Yeah right. I bet I can get any bitch in this club tonight over you pal.
Derek Jeter: Sure whatever you say there pal. Hey you know what you get when you have thirty two hockey players in a room.
Joba Camberlain: Ooh, ooh I know Mr. Jeter. A full set of teeth.
Derek Jeter: Right in one Joba. Hey you see that girl over at the bar. What’s her name?
Sean Avery: That’s Lindsey Lohan. Let’s call her over. I bet you ten grand I can do her in the bathroom.
Derek Jeter: Go ask her to join us Joba. Oh and the guy standing next to her with the funny hat and the records. (Joba goes over to Lindsey Lohan and whispers to her. She smiles and walks over to the group. She is wearing a skin tight dress and has some white powder on her upper lip)
Lindsey Lohan: Hi guys. Hey Derek long time no see. (She gives Derek a kiss on the lips. And smiles brightly)
Derek Jeter: Hey let me introduce to some friends of mine. These are my boys Jorge and Joba. And a couple of the World Champion New York Giants, Plaxico and Antonio. Oh and this is Ron Duguay.
Sean Avery: Yeah right, you know me baby, I met you at the Vogue shoot. It’s me Sean.
Lindsey Lohan: Oh yeah right. Weren’t you the one hitting on all the models? Gross. Anyway I like the colored fellas. (She leans over and kisses Plaxico on the mouth, rubbing her huge chest on him and slipping him the tongue. Plaxico can’t help it as she is rubbing all of that nubile flesh against him he starts to respond. But a terrible thing happens as his erect penis pushes through the trigger guard of his Glock but he doesn’t notice)
Antonio Pierce: Hey I need some of that sugar baby. (He shoulders in and bumps Plaxico out of the way. Plaxico stumbles and then straightens up. He goes to fix the gun in his sweats. But his cock is stuck in his Glock. A shot rings out)
Joba Chamberlain: Oh my God! Somebody killed Plaxico!

Johnny Guitar was on the Western Channel last night.

Johnny Guitar was on the Western Channel last night. A perfect pick for insomnia theatre. Of course my wife had never seen it and I turned it on and was watching it as she got ready for bed. Now it always takes women a long time to get ready to go to sleep. You know putting on moisturizers and various nostrums and such like. So I usually pop something on the TV and when she lays down we decide what we want to watch. Usually she protests a western but almost every time she starts to watch one she get sucked into it. Anyway she starts to watch the scene where Joan Crawford is in the white dress playing the piano when the posse burst in to her saloon. She starts questioning me "Is this a horror movie. You know I can't watch a horror movie right before we go to sleep." You see she only recognizes Joan Crawford from her work in Whatever Happened to Baby Jane. I tell her no, it is one of my top ten Westerns. So we proceed to watch it. It works like a charm. Puts her to sleep in ten minutes.

Everyday I write the Book

I just went out to the front of the store to chase out a few kids who wandered in. We are having a very good day so that is cool and both dressing rooms are humming.

Anyway an old Elvis Costello tune "Everyday I write the Book" comes on the ipod as I am standing with my wife. So I grab her and we start to dance.

You see everyday we write the book together. And as long as we are together, it's a classic.

Tales from Amys Garden The Wonderful Edition

Fiver: There's something very queer about the warren this evening
Hazel: Is it dangerous?
Fiver: It's not exactly danger, it's... oh, I don't know. Something oppressive... like thunder.
Hazel: I feel it too. The lady in the cottage seems to have a lot of problems. A strange very large man wearing a cap has been banging on her windows. Shouting and gibbering like a crazy man.
Bigwig: Yes he is very strange. He walks like a man but smells like a lady. He keeps yelling that she really loves him and no one else.
Fiver: Really, what is she doing when she hears this?
Bigwig: She just looks at the window at him. Then she pulls out the carrot and sticks it between her legs again and again. Back and forth. And she moans an awful lot. And calls out.
Hazel: Who does she call out for? The strange fat man in the flat cap who smells like lilac?
Bigwig: I don't really know if that is his name. I think he is named after a cheesy nightclub. What is a Bissage?
Hazel: I don't know.
Fiver: Me either.
Bigwig: Well whoever he is he seems to be wonderful.
Hazel: What a waste of good carrots.
(Watership Down, 1972)

At the Club.

The Latin Quarter 2am at the club.

Jorge Posada: Hey Derek it’s really strange being here in the city off season. The tour of the new Stadium was sweet.
Derek: Yeah I can’t wait for spring training.
Jorge Posada: Yeah me too. Man those Giants are getting all the action man. Look at that Armani Bradshaw. That’s one hot chica he’s got hanging on him there.
Derek Jeter: Well they are the World Champs. They get the glory and the girls now. It’s been a while since we won.
Jorge Posada: You’re breaking my heart Chico. You get all the pussy you want man.
Joba Chamberlain: That’s right Mr. Jeter. You get all the girls.
Derek Jeter: True. Hey look there’s Plaxico Burress and Antonio Pierce. Let’s go and say hello.
(Jeter, Posada and Joba walk across the club to say hello)
Derek Jeter: Hey guys howz it going? (Fist bumps all around; Jeter notices a bulge in Plaxicos sweats) Hey Plax I don’t want you to think I am Mike Piazza or anything but what’s up with your sweats.
Plaxico Burress: I’m packing.
Antonio Pierce: Yeah me too. Twelve inches bitch.
Plaxico Burress: Nah man, I got my gat. Anthony got jacked last week….ain’t no fool gonna do me like that.
Jorge Posada: Don’t you have a holster for that shit man. You can blow your fuckin Johnson off jefe.
Antonio Pierce; Yeah Plax I wouldn’t have room in my pants for two big guns ya know what I’m saying.
Joba Chamberlain: Oh look Mr. Jeter one of your friends is coming over. Isn’t that Miss Biel. (Jessica Biel comes slinking over to them in a micro mini black dress with six inch heels)
Jessica Biel: Hi Derek. How are you baby? (Air Kisses)
Derek Jeter: I’m cool how are you Jess. Let me introduce you to the boys. These are my boys Jorge and Joba and these are a couple of the Giants, Plaxico and Antonio. (One arm hugs and air kisses all around. The shapely Miss Biel uses the opportunity to rub up against the athletes to maybe get Derek jealous).
Jorge Posada: (with a big grin on his face) Nice to meet you senorita.
Joba Camberlain: (with a beet red face) Yes very nice Miss Biel.
Jessica Biel: Oh and the World Champs. Hey Plaxico (She rubs her barely restrained breasts against Plaxico as she air kisses him on his right cheek, but as she goes to kiss him on his left cheek she sees Jeter frown so she sticks her tongue in his ear)
Plaxico Burress: Oh erh yeah! (Plaxico can’t help it as she is rubbing all of that nubile flesh against him he starts to respond. But a terrible thing happens his erect penis pushes through the trigger guard of his Glock but he doesn’t notice).
Antinio Pierce: Hey I need some of that sugar baby. ( He shoulders in and bumps Plaxico out of the way. Plaxico stumbles and then straightens up. He goes to fix the gun in his sweats. But his cock is stuck in his Glock. A shot rings out)
Joba Chamberlain: Oh my God! Somebody killed Plaxico!

Tales from Amys Garden The Wonderful Edition

Fiver: There's something very queer about the warren this evening
Hazel: Is it dangerous?
Fiver: It's not exactly danger, it's... oh, I don't know. Something oppressive... like thunder.
Hazel: I feel it too. The lady in the cottage seems very angry. She is cursing and yelling and throwing wine bottles out of the window
Bigwig: Well I think the lady has really become very mean. She has taken all of the carrots out of the garden patch. And she is not even eating them.
Fiver: Really, then what is she doing with them?
Bigwig: Every night she peels one and sticks it between her legs. Back and forth. And she moans an awful lot. And calls out.
Hazel: Who does she call out for?
Bigwig: I don't really know. What is a Bissage?
Hazel: I don't know.
Fiver: Me either.
Bigwig: Well whoever he is he seems to be wonderful.
Hazel: What a waste of good carrots.
(Watership Down, 1972)

Tim Robbins was making a movie on Clinton Street.

World famous commie pinko Tim Robbins was making a movie in the Public Library on Clinton Street this week. They go and post about six or seven blocks and tell everyone they have to move their cars or they will be towed. The balls on these fucks.

I hate movie assholes.

There must be some way to blame this on Sarah Palin

New York Post Weird but True December 4, 2008

'Tis the season to give Ol' St. Nick a beat-down.

A British theme-park Santa and three of his elves were assaulted by irate visitors to a lame Lapland show near Dorset.

Parents who waited up to four hours and paid about $40 per ticket for what they hoped would be a magical evening found a broken ice rink, huskies in a mud field and a cardboard Nativity scene.


I just wanted to get a lot of comments so I mentioned Sarah Palin.

Lets wait and see what happens.

Welcome Back Mr Kotter.

New York Post December 4, 2008
By Adam Nichols

A retired NYPD cop attended the 20th reunion of his Brooklyn Catholic school - and later told cops he was shocked to find a teacher who had sexually abused him still working at the school.
Philip Repaci, 38, broke his 23-year silence to file charges.

He claims that as a 15-year-old student at Nazareth Regional HS in East Flatbush, he was forced to touch the genitals of science teacher and baseball coach Robert Mistretta.
"It made me sick that he was still there, that he was still in a position where he could harm kids," Repaci said yesterday.

Repaci said the alleged abuse took place when the teacher invited him and a school friend to his Jersey Shore vacation home.

"What happened that day has destroyed every aspect of my life," he said. He filed a report in Ocean County, NJ, where the alleged abuse happened.

Barbara Gil, principal of the school, said "Nazareth will conduct a full review of these allegations and take all necessary and appropriate actions."

Mistretta could not be reached for comment.


Nazereth was the sister school to my high school Xaverian which was on Shore road in Brooklyn. I went to Catholic school from flirts grade through high school so this is not a shock to me. There were a couple of brothers or lay teachers you had your doubts about. Usually not the really effeminate ones since they were harmless. It was the athletic ones who palled around with the students a lot but seemed to spend too much time in the showers or the locker room.

The Catholic Church takes a real bum rap with the pedophile scandal. Don't get me wrong, there were a lot of abuses and these guys should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. It's just that the public schools have an even worse record which is just covered up. The thing is that a lot of the pedophilia is with grown men and young girls in the public schools. So I guess most people pass it off as no big deal.

The thing about it is when you see something hinky you have to speak out about it. Then and there. Don't wait. Wherever you see it. When adults have access to children who are not their own kids, bad stuff can happen. You have to watch the warning signs.

Plaxico is up shits creek.

The pile on continues as more facts come out in the Plaxico Burress mess. It's funny to see how the tide has turned. First the sportswriters were like the villagers in Frankenstein with the torches and pitchforks ready to hang him. But as the repetition on sports radio went on and on I think they were getting a little scared of the comments they were getting from some of the knuckleheads that are their audience. Most of those losers have never been in a bad situation in their lives. I mean in a place where a lot of people had guns and you could fee the tension with a knife.

I was held up at gun point twice in my life. Once as a young kid in a bar. Just a regular Brooklyn gin mill where these guys came in with a shot gun and held up the bar. Now there were a couple of cops in the joint but they were smart enough not to do anything until the doers left. Then they ran outside and pegged a few shots at them. But they got away clean. For a while. You see it was a mob place so they really didn't get away clean. At least that is what I heard but who knows if that is true.

The second time was in my friends video store. My friend and his wife and one customer were in the store right around this time of year. In fact it was the day before Christmas Eve which I think fell on a Friday that year. Anyway one guy walks up to the counter and another was by the door. We were joking around and not paying attention because we were going to meet friends at the Montague street Saloon later that night. We had broken out a bottle and were giving the customers shots with their videos. And having one or two to keep them company.

So the mook in the front of the store grabs the customer who was on the other side of the counter and puts a gun to his head. The guy at the door pulls out a gun and they demand the money in the register. I was behind the counter with my friend who owned the store and his wife. She took off her engagement ring and wedding ring and stuffed it under the radiator. They got the money in the register and my friend had a stash in a video box that was the phony stash. That's what you give up when you are robbed and they demand more money. There was some tens and twenties but most of it was singles. The real stash was in the freezer in the back. They made us lie on the floor. I thought it was all over. But they just ran out the front.

We called the cops and they came over and we went to the 76th precient to fill out a report. You know how they have mug books on TV. Well they had mug drawers, whole filing cabinets full of suspects and known skells. This was in Dinkins time and crime was off the charts. We looked and looked but after a while it got to be a joke. So nothing ever came of it.

I think of that night a lot as I sit in the back of the store in the office and type away while the girls are fitting women in the front. I have had to throw a few skells out in the past few weeks so I make sure I am always around. I have a bat behind the counter and an expanding metal baton in case I need it. When I get up in their face they usually move pretty quick. You see sometimes I have a lot of anger. But there might come a time when somebody has a gat and there will be nothing you can do.

Unless I can get Plaxico to hang out at the store.

Homicide Life on the Streets don't know dick about computers.

Last nights episode of Homicide Life on the Street was very weird. It was about this guy that was murdering women on the internet with a web cam. So all these detectives are working with computers and it was so long ago that there wasn't even real blogs. Baylis the psycho guy had his own website but emails and user names and isp was all a big mystery and revelation to these mooks. Hey don't get me wrong, it was fine to spend 45 minutes in insomnia theatre but you had to laugh your ass off at it.

Sean Avery has balls and the NHL proves that they are not a real sport and are full of girly men.

Our ace commenter dr. kill pointed out the Sean Avery story and here it is:

ESPN NEWS December 4, 2008
DALLAS -- Of all the cajoling, snide remarks and other stunts Sean Avery pulled on the way to becoming the biggest pest in hockey, never had he gone so far that the NHL believed it had to suspend him -- until Tuesday.

Avery was punished indefinitely by commissioner Gary Bettman for using a crude term about his former girlfriends now dating other hockey players. Bettman acted within hours, in time to keep Avery out of the Dallas Stars' game against the Calgary Flames on Tuesday night.

Avery's inflammatory line came following a morning skate in Calgary, Alberta. Reporters were waiting to speak with Avery about disparaging remarks he'd made last month about Flames star Jarome Iginla when Avery walked over to the group and asked if there was a camera present. When told there was, he said, "I'm just going to say one thing."

"I'm really happy to be back in Calgary; I love Canada," the Ontario native said. "I just want to comment on how it's become like a common thing in the NHL for guys to fall in love with my sloppy seconds. I don't know what that's about, but enjoy the game tonight." He then walked out of the locker room.

Avery's ex-girlfriend, actress Elisha Cuthbert of the television show "24" and the movie "Old School," is dating Calgary defenseman Dion Phaneuf; she had been romantically linked to Mike Komisarek of the Montreal Canadiens. Avery also dated Rachel Hunter, the former Sports Illustrated swimsuit cover model and actress who is now the girlfriend of Los Angeles Kings center Jarret Stoll.

"My thoughts were that it was a very disrespectful comment, and the league took action and I definitely agree with the way they took action," Phaneuf said after the Flames' 3-1 loss to the Stars.

Bettman said Avery made "inappropriate public comments, not pertaining to the game." Bettman and league disciplinarian Colin Campbell will hold a hearing with Avery at 10:30 a.m. ET Thursday in New York before the length of the suspension is determined.

"I completely support the league's decision to suspend Sean Avery," Stars owner Tom Hicks said in a statement. "Had the league not have suspended him, the Dallas Stars would have. This organization will not tolerate such behavior, especially from a member of our hockey team. We hold our team to a higher standard and will continue to do so."


This if freaking unbelievable. They suspend this guy for a fucking joke. I mean the two guys that he is busting on should settle this up on the ice. Not run to mommie likes pussy. What would Gordie Howe do? What would Gump Worsley do? WTF What would freakin' Dennis Potvin do for christsake?

Don't we have freedom of speech in this fucking country anymore? They can't even sue him for libel or slander because what he said is true. They are getting sloppy seconds. I thought the NHL was always lame anyway. The old school guys are all gone and you have these foreigners who don't want to mix it up. It started when the Rangers got those Swedes. Pussy pacifists that they were they infected the league. Now you can't even bust another guys balls without it going to the courts. What a load of bullshit.

Christmas Dinner

We are hosting Christmas day so that means you pal Trooper York will be cooking. My wife doesn't cook so I will be doing the honors as usual.

It looks like ravioli, meatballs, sausages, bracoile, and a gravy round for the sauce. Roast Pork over fanook, apples and prunes. Sausage and peppers. Broiled potato with oregano and salt and pepper. Pears in amaretto with whipped cream. Pastries. Pie. Espresso with sambucca.

You know keep it simple

Put Stephon Marbury in suspended animation

For all the times that Stephon Marbury has jerked around his teams and his teammates he is no getting it back in spades. He is off the team and they are pursuing a buy out. The Knicks are extremely depleted because Cuttino Mobley has a heart condition and the Knicks doctors won't sign off on it like the Clippers guys did. With variou injuries the Knicks are down to about eight guys to play at any one time. So when the wop told Marbury he could play and get minutes for the rest of the season he refused. He says he didn't but he must of because if he didn't he would have gotten a chance the last few games. So he basically quit on the team which is not the first time he has done something like that.

I have to respect GM Donnie Walsh for sticking to his guns and holding out to get him to take some money off his deal. Marbury doesn't have a clue. He has forfeited any modicum of sympathy any New York fan could ever have for him. And trashed his image in the league even more than before if that is possible. He is truly a bad guy. Not a confused fool like Plaxico Burresss. He is the real deal. A punk ass bitch through and through.

Homicide Life on the Streets.

Lately we have been watching a lot of Sleuth TV on insomnia theatre. What we do is record the night before and replay it without commercials. Homicide Life on the Streets was the precursor to Wire made by some of the same people. It is very enjoyable if a trifle dated.

We are also taping marathon sessions of Cold Case with that greasy girl off of TBS. I always liked that show but we never taped it for some reason or ever watched it live. So we are catching up on it. It is very formulaic but still enjoyable. Especially the music in some of the episodes. They had the Saw Doctors and Tears for Fears in one last week. That takes you back ya know.

Robert Romano is looking at his bulldog and wondering tonight.

New York Post, Page Six December 3, 2008 --
THE ex-wife of Art Shamsky claims the Mets legend gave her a sexually transmitted disease after repeatedly cheating on her with both men and women.

In a sordid lawsuit filed in Manhattan Supreme Court, Kim Shamsky says that during their 13-year marriage the famed outfielder and first baseman "engaged in acts of adultery with both men and women," without her knowledge. His romps included "acts of 'unprotected' sexual and deviate sexual intercourse," according to the suit.

The court papers state that Kim, suspecting her hubby was fooling around, submitted to a number of medical tests. After one examination, she was informed by her doctor she had contracted the human papilloma virus (HPV). Medical experts say HPV can cause problems such as genital warts and cervical cancer.

The suit claims Shamsky continued to have sex with her although he "knew that an individual or individuals with whom he had engaged in sexual relations had contracted HPV or that he had contracted HPV."

Kim, who says she suffered "serious physiological and emotional injury," is asking for $11 million in damages.

Art's lawyer, Pat Crispo, dismissed the entire lawsuit as "frivolous" and insisted Shamsky is free of sexual disease. "This is the act of a very angry ex-wife who has maligned him in the press," Crispo told Page Six. "He will be vindicated in the courts."

Shamsky, 67, was with the Mets from 1968 to 1971 and batted .300 during the team's 1969 world championship season. He also played with the Cincinnati Reds, Chicago Cubs and Oakland A's, and did play-by-play and color commentary for the Mets and hosted a talk show on WFAN. Last year, Shamsky was named manager of the Modi'in Miracle of the Israel Baseball League. The Shamskys, who married in 1994, were divorced last May.

You have to have patience

You have to have patience when you are in retail. Things are never as bad as when you are really slow and never as good as when you are really busy. We only need a couple of customers to make our nut and a profit so we have to look at each week as a whole.

I am hopeful that the liberal main stream media will start singing a different tune once Obama gets in. Everything that was a sign of doom under Bush will be termed a sign that things are turning around on Obama's watch.

I am betting on the hypocrisy and corruption of the media.

I think it is a good bet.

Plaxico gets reamed, Liberal scum sportswriters come in their pants!

Tibore a very intelligent poster on Althouse went on the Buress thread and stated that it was a good thing that Plaxico was going to be dropped by the Giants. That he sort of deservered it. Here was my reply:

Tibore you are a smart guy and you know your stuff. All of things you mentioned are true but what do they all add up to? I mean you can be Chairman of the Ways and Means if you don't pay your taxes. Or Mayor of New York. Domestic disputes happen all the but Plaxico is no Jason Kidd as he has never been accused of slapping his wife around. She is a lawyer by the way and a pretty smart lady. Haven’t you ever got your load on and called in sick to work with a lame excuse? Haven’t you ever had a bad patch where you kept coming in late for one reason or another? The Giants tolerated a hell of a lot worse off crack heads like Lawrence Taylor and many other talented players as long as they needed them. Some of the guys in the fifties and sixties were mean drunks who slapped their wives around but stayed on the team as long as they were useful.

Plaxico is a human being who makes mistakes. He just made a big one. What I hate are these self righteous fucking weenie sportscasters who are leading the mob to run him out of town on a rail. These worthless scumbags never did a useful thing in their life and all they can do is tear people down. They do not have an ounce of compassion in their evil twisted souls. It is no accident that a commie yuppie prick like Keith Olberman started as a sportswriter. Who the fuck are they to stand in judgment? They make me sick.

Plaxico will get reamed and loose his deal. These cunts will rejoice in a job well done. Innocent bystanders who only tried to help like the lady doctor and Ronnie Barnes the trainer will get smeared. If Plaxico can still play next season he will get a contract. Some team will use him if he has an ounce of talent left. They will squeeze the lemon until there is nothing left but the rind.

The worst kind of journalist is a sports journalist.

They screwed us again.

We sent a bunch of great dresses to the Today show for a segment about getting the perfect little cocktail dress for New Years Eve. A Tadashi, Anna Sholz and a designer that we work very closely with. And they picked that one. Then at the last minute they canceled it and decided to make it "cheap" dresses. They want to kill retail.

Celebrities suck. I hope is Sarah Palin gets elected she puts those pricks in the Gulag.

Just kiddin'

Heh.

Plaxico Redoux

The confluence of race, guns, arrogance, hubris and celebrity has all contributed to the witch’s brew that is the case of Plaxico Burress. Plaxico’s mother made a mistake when she named him, she should have called him Forrest Gump. He is basically a disorganized and disassociated guy who has been coddled and protected throughout his life. He has a distinct lack of malice which is one of the reasons his teammates rush to protect him. He is not a genuinely bad guy like a Stephon Marbury or a Pac Man Jones or Mike Tyson so both the team’s management and players are predisposed to give him more slack. He doesn’t roll into a club with his posse and take over like so many of these guys do. In fact his big problem with the Giants happened because he blew off a day’s work to be with son. Stupid yes. Criminal no.

The problems of the association of athletes and criminals in places where drinks are served are a long and storied one and have nothing to do with the fact that Plaxico is black. When the Irish ballplayers of the Black Sox scandal were hanging around with gamblers and hoods they ended up fixing the World Series. Ty Cobb and Tris Speaker two baseball immortals were forced to retire because of their ties to gamblers. Paul Hornung as suspended for a season because of gambling. Pete Rose. Dozens of athlete’s coaches and broadcasters have been arrested for having a gun. The beat goes on. The problem now is that when the players go to a club the skells follow them home to stick them up or to do a home invasion. Stephen Smith of the Giants was robbed at gunpoint last week. Eddie Curry of the Knicks had a bunch of knuckleheads burst into his home and tie him and his whole family up while they robbed them. Antoine Walker had the same thing happen. Paul Pierce of the Celtics was pierced by about a hundred stab wounds a few years ago in a club. So these guys feel that they have to protect themselves and their families. So they get a gun. Now to own and carry a gun is lot easier in the states these guys come from. Florida, Texas, and places like that. They don’t know or just ignore the draconian gun laws of New York City and New Jersey. They figure they can just slide like they always did because they are star athletes. Everything is fine until somebody gets their eye put out.

Now it is a full fledged Bonfire of the Vanities pile on. The asshole scumbag Nanny Bloomberg has to open his big yap and try and convict this guy before there is an indictment let alone a trial. Of course if he got caught with a gat he would just change the fucking law like he did with term limits. Self righteous douche bags like Michael Daly (a fucking journalist and you know how I feel about them) and Mike Francesca (pompous TV and radio know it all) will pontificate that Plaxico has to go to jail. Guess what douche bags. 90% of the felony gun arrests are pleaded out to a misdemeanor with a suspended sentence. Even gang bangers and corner boys. A stable family man with a job in his first offense almost never goes to jail. So they have to choose to put him in jail. To make all these assholes who could never play feel good. To score political points. Make no mistake about these sportswriters and pundits are the guys who got wedgies from the football team in high school. So they will get on their high horse and spout off nonsense when they don’t know what they are talking about.

Does Plaxico deserve some punishment? Sure. Suspension by the NFL. Even cut him off the team if you want and take away his money. Knock yourself out. I hold no brief for him because he is a member of THE WORLD CHAMPION NEW YORK GIANTS. I think Plaxico is one of those guys who does more harm to himself than to anyone else. But personally when I see people like the corrupt Nanny Bloomberg and scum bag journalists and jealous pompous sportscasters piling on someone, I have to be on the other side. All the way. I want to let the criminal justice work just as it would for anyone else. Without the mayor and the newspapers calling for his head. Hey just call me a crazy bleeding heart liberal.

Commercials tell you a lot about the show you are watching

Did you ever notice how commercials tell you a lot about the show you are watching.

Wait a second I sound like fucking Andy Rooney. Shit.

Well anyway the commercials always fit the show. Football has beer and burgers and cars.
Lifetime has feminine products and beauty stuff. The old school places like TV land has the yogurt that makes you shit. The Comedy channel has Girls Gone Wild Videos and chat lines for horny guys whacking it in front of the TV. As does the E channel when the Girls next store is on.

But late night has seen a whole bevy of debt consolidation, and IRS problem solvers and corporate rescue companies on almost every show that airs after midnight. I guess they feel if you can't sleep you have money problems. It's very funny. Or maybe not. I don't know.

Christmas bonus time is here and it sucks man.

It is Christmas bonus time this year and it is very tough. I don't think I will be getting one from my regular job and money is pretty tight. We have to manage our costs and there really isn't anything in the budget for extras right now. So what we decided to do is give a small cash bonus with a gift certificate for the store. Since all of our workers fit into our size range it should work out fine. Plus we are having a cookie baking party at our house for all the employees. Which means I will do all the cooking and baking while the women sit around and swill wine. The funny thing is none of the girls who work for us really know how to cook. It's freakin weird.

We maybe on TV on Tuesday.

We might have some clothes placed on TV tomorrow morning but I am not going to give out details because I don't want to jinx it.