Gaints 24 Falcons 2

So that's that. One down and three more to go!

Next up the Midgets of the Frozen Tundra. The Fudge Packers of the NFL. The team so bad that they have to sell shares on the internet because nobody wants to buy them.

BIG BLUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Met's have signed a new shortstop.

They say he is a joker.

The last one they had was a joke. Just sayn'

Aren't we all Pink on the inside?

Call a Policewoman!

Pepper has fallen and she can't get up.

She can just help you get it up. Just sayn'

Kristy McNichol orders a fish taco!

Another one bites the dust. Or the fish taco.

Kristy McNichol has just announced that she is a lesbian. Just like Meredith Baxter Birney. And Jane Lynch. And Bruce Willis.

Kristy was the tomboy star of a great old school TV show called "Family." But you perverts will remember her from her role in "Little Darlings" which was set in a summer camp with little girls about to lose their virginity to Matt Dillon. Not James Arness...the other guy. Johnny Drama's brother. Also starring Tatum O'Neal. Who turned out to be a big time alcoholic and drug addict. It seems that child stars turn out to be one or the other. Drug addicts or lesbians. Not that there is anything wrong with that. You should do what you want to do.

But her career was pretty much over when she made the Crack Emcee's favorite movie "White Dog." She never recovered from that.

I wonder what the Olsen twins are gonna come up with?

I never broke a book!

My fuckin' kindle is already broken! The screen is all jumbled up and I can't read it. Which sucks because I have about fifty books on it and am reading three of them at the same time! So I am stuck with no reading material. Which sucks even more than usual because we are going to the Moda/ENK shows tomorrow and I need the kindle to while away the hours while the wife looks at crap we are never gonna buy for the store.

Luckily I am under warranty so they are shooting one right out to me even before I send back the broken one. Which is pretty cool. But still. This shit doesn't happen when you buy books.

Of course the stack of kindles doesn't fall over and bury you either so there is that.

Deep Thoughts....by Titus

Titus said...
Tossing a Salad is homophonic.
watch portlandia tonight troop.

tits.

You're Soaking in It.

I just got the word that we are going to be making a promo commercial. Holy crap. It will be all over the place not just on the channel we will be on.

You're soaking in it.

Whose that author?

He had heard that women often did care for ugly and ordinary men, but he did not believe it,for he judged by himself, and he could not himself have loved any but beautiful,mysterious, and exceptional women.

The Starker....what a gonif!

I have reading this great new book about a gangster from the turn of the century who dominated the Lower East Side one hundred years ago. Big Jack Zelig who controlled the Lower East Side rackets before Prohibition for a few years until he was murdered by the police. He was about to testify in the murder trail of the century. Well the early part of the century where a police lieutenant was sent to the electric chair. It is a great book and if you were following "Boardwalk Empire" it is in much the same time frame and sensibility. Just a little earlier.

It is about tough Jewish gangster who would go and ride buses and wait for nudnicks to pull on somebodies beard and then they would kick the shit out of them. It is a great read.

Happy Birthday Darcy!

Now, red solo cup is the best receptical
For barbecues, tailgates, fairs, and festivals
And you, sir, do not have a pair of testicles
If you prefer drinkin' from glass

Hey, red solo cup is cheap and disposable
And in fourteen years, they are decomposable
And unlike my home, they are not foreclosable
Freddy Mac, can kiss my ass

Whoo!

Red solo cup
I fill you up
Let's have a party
Let's have a party

I love you, red solo cup
I lift you up
Proceed to party
Proceed to party

Now, I really love how you're easy to stack
But I really hate how you're easy to crack
'Cause when beer runs down in front of my pack
Well, that, my friends, is quite yucky

But I have to admit that the ladies get smitten
Admirin' at how sharply my first name is written
On you with a Sharpie when I get to hittin' on them to help me get lucky

Red solo cup
I fill you up
Let's have a party
Let's have a party

Whose that girl?

So would you let this babe toss your salad?

She looks like a professional. At salad tossing.

Whose that girl?

Holy Hekawis Batman!

"Ugh. Gay man in blue tights scare chickens. Please do not rub against my wariors. Especailly Bald Eagle. Just because he manscapes does not mean anything."
"Well my good fellow. You are mistaken. I am very heteronormal. You need not worry."
"If you no bang Julie Newmar as a Catwoman you no bang her as Indian maiden. You are fooling no one Berdacheman."
"I bet you I can bed one of your squaws before the night is over Chief."
"Fine. We seal bet with old Indian tradition. Pinky swear."
"You bet Chief. Bring me to the girls. Get me some with big tits. But first I have to pinch a loaf." Clouds."
"Pogan me Berdacheman."

One Adam 12...See the woman...allegations of gambling....somebody bet their bippy.

"Hello officer. I need help. There is this person abusing chickens. I think his name is RH Hardin."
"Well what do you mean abusing Miss."
"I don't know exactly. He chases them around his yard and grabs them and press them to his groin. Especially the roosters. He says he loves cocks."
"Well I don't know if that is against the law."
"What loving cocks?"
"Yes."
"Well that's good because I am kind of fond of them as well. And I haven't seen Boris for awhile. So what's your name officer?"
"Ahhh it's Pete. Pete Malloy."
"Well a Peter. I love a Peter. Even a salty Peter. Why don't you come upstairs with me I have something to show you."
"Are you trying to seduce me Miss."
"You bet your sweet bippy!"

Sorry Sweetheart but I would rather be Tommie Agee than New Agee!

What I did this week would send the Crack Emcee off on a murder spree. We are trying everything we can to relax and prepare for what is ahead of us. So the wife decides we should go to this spa on the corner that we pass everyday and has all this bullshit that is supposed to help you relax and stuff. You know get our Chaka Khan's in alignment.

First we got the eyebrows threaded. Now we only did that because the girl who does it shops in the store and we always try to return the favor. But while we were there we saw that they did acupuncture so we decided to try it. We both have pain issues and we hoped that this could help. We talked to one of the partners who explained the whole deal to us. So we booked appointments at the same time.

They put you in this room which is the typical spa room if you ever went to get a massage or something. You know. The massage table with the paper sheet. You lay down and they stick you full of needles. Now the wife went first and I had to stay in the room with her until they put in all the needles in case she couldn't stand it and I had to make them stop. But it wasn't so bad and she was ok with it as they didn't really put in all that many needles. So she was ok and I went to my room. And she put about fifty needles in me. She said I needed a lot of help. Or she just didn't like me. Whatever. It actually seemed to help. I know I went right to sleep and slept through the whole appointment. Of course I am very tired. I can sleep through anything. The wife fidgeted through her appointment but I just relaxed. Sometimes a clean conscience is the best defense.

Anyhoo when my time was done the needle lady said that I should join my wife in a consultation with the "Holistic director." Now you know what that is about. Upselling. Perfectly acceptable. We do it too. You know you buy a dress and we try to sell you the accessories that match it. Most people want that. But if they don't you back off right away. So this skinny twat is droning on and on. She asked questions about stuff like our diet. I guess she figured we ate fast food or frozen pizza or some shit because we are fat. But the wife threw her a curve ball. "Oh my husband goes to the store every day and buys fresh meats and vegetables and cooks me a fresh meal everyday." So she was nonplussed. She starts saying stuff "Well meat is good for some people but a healthy way to go is to go vegan and start juicing your meals."

I didn't say anything. I just sat there and stretched my neck and stuff. I am trying to turn over a new leaf. I am meeting a lot of California trendy assholes lately and I can't call them all out. So I sat there and let her bullshit because it would be over soon enough. I mean this was her rice bowl. Well her brown rice bowl. We all have our jobs to do. So I didn't get involved. She said her spiel and gave the wife all the information. The only time she turned to me she said "Oh and you know what you can do for exercise....you should try Tai Chi." I shook my head and said "Sorry Sweetheart but I don't do Tai Chi. I do Tsingtao."

Sometimes I can't help it, I just have to be a douche.

You got to pick your spots!

We were watching this "Absolutely Fabulous" marathon and I was pretty bored. The wife loved it because she saw them when they first came out and she loved them. But the seemed like all the same show to me. Two ditzy broads with a crazy mother and the daughter who had to act like the mother. So I was on the lap top sitting in my chair while it was on. I would look up now and then and not be interested. Except for this one episode.

In it the two dimwit broads where trying to set up an orgy while the daughter was off doing a school project. And in some crazy way the videocassette of their orgy was playing at her school instead of the daughter's project. It was an orgy scene. I looked up and said "Oh that's Kay Parker, Aunt Peg,Dorothy LeMay and Mike Ranger. That's the original Taboo directed by Kirdy Stevens. They just put Edwina in the orgy scene."

You see I have an encyclopedic knowledge of eighties porn from when we used to watch it in the back of the video store. All of my friends do. But that isn't something the wife actually needs to know. Word to the Wise. Wink, wink. Nudge, nudge. So to Speak. Just sayn'

I let the wife control the remote last night....big mistake!

She had us watch an "Absolutey Fabulous" marathon. Six episodes On Demand. I couldn't understand half the shit they were talking about.

But it did seem a lot like all the people we have met who are working on the show. Damn but there is shitpot full of producer's. We are going to meet them all today.
I am going to tell them the same thing I tell all our employees:

"Listen you only have to remember one thing, if you make my wife yell at me because of something you do then I will kill you. I will cut off your head and throw you in the sewer. You life means nothing to me."

Best Strip Club Song Ever!

Right back at you Batgirl!

I love myself

I want you to

love me

When I'm feelin' down

I want you above me

I search myself

I wantyou to find me

I forget myself

I want you to remind me

I don't want anybody else

When I think about you

I touchmyself

I don't want anybody else

Oh no, oh no, oh no

You're the one

who makes me happy honey

You're the sun

who makes meshine

When you're around

I'm always laughing

I want to make you mine

I close my eyes

And see you before me

Think I would die

If you were to ignore me

A fool could see

Just how much I adore you

I get down on my knees

I'd do anything for you

I love myself

I want you to love me

When I'm feelin' down

I want you aboveme

I search myself

I want you to find me

I forget myself

I want youto remind me

I want you

I don't want anybody else

And when I think about you

I touch myself

Ooh, oooh, oooooh, aaaaaah

Deep Thoughts....by Titus

Titus said...I would love to be surrounded by floating tits in a beautiful river with deer and wildlife and shit.tits.

If the "Storage Wars" douche can do it so can I.

I was watching "Storage Wars" last night and I was very encouraged. If a fat ugly douche like Darrell Sheets can be a star....then it will be a piece of cake.

You see I never wear tank tops or wife beaters on TV. So I am already ahead of the game.

"Storage Wars" is a very successful reality show but it points to a real problem with the genre. It is very repetitive as they do the same things over and over. They bid each other up....somebody wins....they find a strange artifact or doodad that they need appraised....and they add up the money they can get when they sell the contents of the storage and see if they made a profit or not. But it is not really "reality." You see they "salt" the units to recreate stuff that had already happened or try to make it more interesting. And the prices they quote for selling the stuff is all bullshit.

We are going to try to keep the reality in reality shows if we can.

I just won't wear a wife beater on the air. That would be way too real.

Whose that girl with the bath cap on?

She is a couger town without pity now but she was hot stuff back in the day.

And blake even confessed that he had never heard of her!

Whose that girl?

Hey stop needling me!

Well I guess she can't stop. She is doing acupuncture.

That's right I am going for acupuncture this afternoon. I am having them work on my leg and ankle that has been killing me. We are trying to take care of all our physical stuff before we start filming. So in a couple of hours I am going to look like a pincushion.

Which sucks.

Because usually I am the one needling people.

"The Jersey Shore" returns tonight on MTV!

The fifth and most likely last season of "The Jersey Shore" starts tonight on MTV. They are back in Seaside after being in Italy for last season. They rean from filming one season right to the next and they are burned out, wiped out and wasted.
Since the show revolves around fighting and drunken sex it is no wonder that they are exhausted.

I have made a study of reality shows and this one is a prime example of how not to do it. It started out like gangbusters and was extremely popular. But the kids in the show weren't humble and came on like stars every where they went. They cashed out if they didn't spend all the money they made. The fifteen minutes are up. Most people are tired of their antics. So I think this might be the last season. At least with this cast.

PaulieD has already set up a new show of his own. The others will have to look to do the same. But this one seems to have run it's course.

More of Allie's Tale of Nursing!

Talking about nurses getting pinned and their hats got Allie to thinking about her first forays into nursing. She posted this story as a comment

"Allie said:

Clinical rotations were stressful to say the least. We did our Peds rotation at St. Mary's pediatric burn unit. We were given some idea of what to expect from Sister Jo, but nothing could've prepared a young student nurse for the sounds and smells of the unit.

First day, we walked onto the unit during the debreding time, the kids were put in tubs of water, after their dressings were removed , to soften up the dead skin so it could be removed. The screams alone, that emanated from those debreding rooms was enough to send a student running from the unit.

We were assigned one child to provide care for each day while we were there, with supervision by the unit nurse and occasionally by our instructor when she wasn't stealing food off the kid's trays.

My first patient was an 18 month old boy with 2nd and 3rd degree burns over 90 percent of his body. He was found on fire in a crib with both rails up, the parent was suspected , but wasn't yet charged and actually had supervised visiting privileges with the baby.I had assisted the nurse with debreding and the application of the silver nitrate ointment and fresh dressings, he finally conked out from pain and agony of the debreding , despite having been medicated before the procedure.His nurse must've trusted me enough to leave me alone in his room to hold him, he hated the crib and wouldnt stay there ,he would wake up from a dead sleep screaming when in the crib, no wonder.

As I sat in the rocker holding him, he was breathing gently, he looked angelic despite head to toe bandages, I wanted to kiss his sweet face, but found no spot that wasn't covered with gauze or ointment.He stopped breathing as he was in my arms, I ran out to the nurses station with him still in my arms, he was quickly taken and resuscitation was attempted, to no avail. I was almost hysterical and wanted to quit nursing school , it took all I had as a young woman of 22 to step foot on that unit the next day.

Sorry , not an uplifting or funny story today, but there are plenty of those too, coming."

It takes a special type of person to have the compassion and love and the dedication to keep going to work after an experience like that. Imagine the pain that poor baby went through? It is beyond belief. I really respect the work that nurses do. They do the real dirty work of taking care of the patients. The doctors get the glory and the nurses get the work.

Your patients were very lucky.

Even if you are a dirty commie!

Reality Star to get New Tits!

No, not me. It's Snooki.

It seems that Snooki of "The Jersey Shore" has lost a lot of weight and she isn't as slutty a meatball as she used to be so she needs a boob job to get back to the breast size she is comfortable with.

My man boobs are big enough. Shit they are big enough if they are gonna do a remake of Russ Meyer's Super Vixens.

THE NEW PROJECT!

Well the time has come to give youse guys some of the details. For the past year the wife and I have been negogiating about doing a reality show. That's right a reality show. It will be about the store and our life in the neighborhood. But mostly about the store and the struggle to design and sell clothing in our size range. I still give details about where and when it will air but we start shooting at the end of January and we will go to February. It will air in the spring. I will give you all the details as soon as I can.

But in the meantime they have started the casting process. We need girls who want to come to New York and be on TV. Here is the casting announcement we sent to all of our customers.

Here is the email we sent to all of our customers:

Dear Loyal Customer,

I am writing to you on behalf of Lisa and Jim from Lee Lee's
Valise to share some very exciting news. Lee Lee's Valise will be getting
their very own series on a major cable network! For all the reasons you have
come to love Lee Lee's Valise! The personalized attention. The
assurance that you will always have a place to find fashion forward
clothing that fits. A supportive team that wants you to feel as beautiful on
the outside as you feel on the inside. These are the very things that will be
heart and soul of this series. We want to share the Lee Lee's experience with
the rest of the country!

VPE Talent will be heading up the casting for the new series. You
can read more about us at Vinnie Potestivo Entertainment. We are currently looking for fantastic women who reside in the tri-state area or those who will be visiting NYC February to March 2012. As a current customer of Lee Lee's Valise we would love
to hear from you if you might be interested in participating. If you know anyone (sister, mother, co worker, friend) who is facing the same fashion frustrations as you had before you came to Lee Lee's Valise, well we would love to hear from them too!

Please send 3-5 pictures of yourself along with why this opportunity would be perfect for you to FASHIONFORME@VPETALENT.COM We want to reassure you that cameras or no cameras, Lee Lee's Valise will continue to offer the same personalized and supportive service that
you have come to expect from the Lee Lee's family. Nothing has changed. Except
that Lee Lee's will be on TV! We look forward to hearing from you or someone
you know
Thank you!
Alexis Reiner
Casting Producer

So that is my secret project. If you are interested you should email the casting people. I will be giving youse guys details as soon as I am able too. Thank you to those of you who knew about it and kept it under your hat.

It is going to be a wild and exciting ride.

And you are going to be on with me all the way.

So I had my eyebrows threaded.....not that there's anything wrong with that

And I tell the girl that I don't want to look like Leonid Brezhnev....and she said to me "Who is that?" I said "How old are you?" She said she was 20. I have stains in my underwear that are older than that.

I had to get my eyebrows fixed for our new project. I have to spruce up a little. I also made an appointment for a massage, facial and acupuncture. I told the girl I wanted cumcumbers over my eyes and she had no idea what the fuck I was talking about. Again.

But I am realistic. I can pull off the Leonid Brezhnev look.

Commenter Memories Number 129 Palladian's baby picture

Inspired by Allie our friend Palladian send us a copy of his baby picture. It was the photo of the first man he fell in love with. Red Man tobacco.

What a cute little smoker.

Whose that author?

One thing's sure and nothing's surer The rich get richer and the poor get -- children

Commenter Memories Number 128 Allie and her friends get ready for a date.

Our new favorite commentor Allie sent us this photo form her archives from when she was a young student nurse. Here she was getting ready with her friends for her date with this clean cut young fellow named Richie from Chicago who was a merchant seamen. But unfortunately he didn't show up. Why. Well we don't want to speckulate. So to speak.

Whose that author?

Whenever I find myself growing grim about the mouth; whenever it is a damp, drizzly November in my soul; whenever I find myself involuntarily pausing before coffin warehouses, and bringing up the rear of every funeral I meet; and especially whenever my hypos get such an upper hand of me, that it requires a strong moral principle to prevent me from deliberately stepping into the street, and methodically knocking people's hats off--then, I account it high time to get to sea as soon as I can. This is my substitute for pistol and ball. With a philosophical flourish Cato throws himself upon his sword; I quietly take to the ship.

The Summer of Boo Boo

We never could figure out where Brother Bear went wrong. He seemed like a normal little bear. Eating garbage out of the can. Licking himself because he could. Shitting in the woods. He did what bears do.

But the psychiatrists said it had something to do with his relationship with his mother. You see she was very tough on him. Very tough. She used to spank him all the time. Whenever he did something wrong she would pull down his pants and put him over her knee. She still did it when he was twenty. It was painful but strangely arousing for Brother Bear. It made him associate pleasure with pain. That was the reason why he ended up shooting brown haired woman on the hiking trails of Jellystone.

And why he kept trying to date Jewish Bears.
(Stan and Jan Berenstain "Son of Boo Boo", The E True Hollywood Story of the
Berenstain Bears)

How offensive a photo is that?

I think Blake is right. Movies are never good when an actor tries to act like a famous person and imitate him in a movie.

That's why Moe couldn't channel Hitler.

Gratuitous Bathtub photo: Santa sent us Senta!

If you know what I mean.

Suddenly I feel like a burger.

A hot wet burger.

Wait that ain't right.

Whose that Girl who walks like a Man?

She wasn't rough and tough. She is a lady. Now she is an old lady. But some still call her hot.

They can cool her down by throwing her in the pool.

Whose that girl?

A great voice from the Belmonts has passed.

Fred Milano one of the original voices of the Belmonts has passed at the age of 72. One of the greatest doo-wop groups of all time, the Belmonts took off for the sky when Dion joined and they recorded a string of hits including Runaround Sue. Dion went off on a solo career and the Belmonts eeked out a living in show business. I saw them many times and they always put on a great show.

Fred worked for the department of corrections while he pursued his music career. He was a working musician and a loving father and grandfather.

May he rest in peace. Thank you for the hours of fun you gave me. When we were drunk hanging on the streetcorner trying to sing doo-wop....I wanted to be you man. Rest in peace brother, rest in peace.

Whose that girl showing us her clam?

She just didn't show us the bearded clam!

She started an acting dynasty and has been a star for a lot of years.

Whose that Clam?

Garage Mahals Road Kill Korner

Our old buddy Garage Mahal was roadkill himself when he got flattened by a Green Bay Packer Linebacker when he ran onto the field. It was part of the Occupy Lambeau Field by Packers fans who want to protest that the team is a dirty corporation and not a collective run in the Soviet Manner.

Poor Garage was bumped and bruised and is banned from the Staduim so he will not get to see the Giants beat his team when they play in two weeks. Just as well as he will cry when they get slaughted by Big Blue.

Road Kill Indeedy!!!!!!!!!!!!

Newt vs Mitt is like Billy Martin and Bob Lemon!

The Iowa caucus is like the time when we had Billy Martin and Bob Lemon as the managers of the Yankees. You see Billy was a "Real Yankee" just like Newt is more or less a "Real Conservative." But both of them have so many personal problems that it is hard to support them whole heatedly and not know that eventually it is gonna blow up in your face.

Now Bob Lemon is like Mitt Romney. Not that he is a Mormon. Bob liked his cocktails. But was safe and deliberate and low key. He didn't bring the problems and the drama and the excitement that Billy brought. He was just a manager. But he wasn't a "True Yankee." He did his own thing and he won for a little while. People didn't love him but the accepted him as what we needed at the time. In the end he failed.

We would have been better off with someone else who was a "Real Yankee." Like Dick Howser or Gene Michael. Like Paul Ryan or Governor Walker or Tom Coburn or Marco Rubio. They might not be experienced enough or running but maybe we should go with a "True Yankee."

That's what I would do. Just sayn'

Not the Helpski!

Miss Russia 1998 is in trouble in rehab.

Anna Malova is in rehab for abusing prescription drugs and has been causing problems. She is getting one more chance according to NBCNews4.

That's at least an interesting problem. I am having problems getting the Russian maid to clean the curtain shears properly.

Of course before I was married I didn't even know what the fuck shears were....unless you were talking about panties or something.

And then you didn't care if they were dirty. Just sayn'

The Stooges are Back.....with Snookie!!!!

Did you ever get the feeling?

That you were shoveling shit against the tide?

We are busy on our new project and we have to be in all the details even though we were assured we didn't have to because we would have lots of help.

I had to rewrite the emails for clarity and spelling of all things! I dash shit off here without a thought but when I send something out to my customers I use my spell check. They copied me verbatim so I basically wrote it.

Then the wife had to change the artwork to depixel it and make it the bare minimum of acceptability. We found seventeen things wrong with it.

This is going to be a long slow slog.

You need to be self-aware!

I think in life you have to have a modicum of self-awareness. You have to have an idea about how you look to other people. Now I realize how I come off most of the time. As an arrorgant big mouth overbearing asshole. But that is my style. I don't mean anything by it. It is just the way I am. I tell people that if I get out of line just say "Hey stop being a loudmouth asshole and listen to me." And I will.

But some people have no self-awareness. They think everything they do is cool. They don't have a fuckin' clue. And people buy into it and validate and enable the shit that they do. Nobody has the balls to call them on it and tell them to cut the shit.

That is how you can go wrong. When you surround yourself with toady's and syncophants they just kiss your ass and don't tell you where you went wrong. You persist in your folly and outside observers just shake their head and write you off as an asshole and a douche.

But then you would be perfect as the coach of the Jet's. Just sayn'

Patron Saint of Workers, Humility, and the Good Kind of “Pride

Joseph, by the work of your hands and

the sweat of your brow,

you supported Jesus and Mary,

and had the Son of God as your fellow worker.

Teach me to work as you did,

with patience and perseverance, for God and

for those whom God has given me to support.

Teach me to see in my fellow workers

the Christ who desires to be in them,

that I may always be charitable and forbearing

towards all.

Grant me to look upon work

with the eyes of faith,

so that I shall recognize in it

my share in God’s own creative activity

and in Christ’s work of our redemption,

and so take pride in it.

When it is pleasant and productive,

remind me to give thanks to God for it.

And when it is burdensome,

teach me to offer it to God,

in reparation for my sins

and the sins of the world.

I was thinking about St. Joseph today. He is just about the patron saint of humility. Think about it. He marries this chick who is supposed to be a virgin and he is told that she is bearing God's child. He doesn't do what they did in those days and renounce her. He marries her and takes the child as his own. He protects them and nurtures them and makes a home for them. A woman and somebody Else's child. Ok it was God's Son but you know what I mean.

I think the most admirable part of St. Joseph's story is that every day he went to work. He did his carpentry and whatever and took care of his family. He was a humble man. He was a Saint. We can take a lesson from him.

In defense of Michelle Obama!

I know really! But I am serious.

It seems that some people are getting all upset about the cost of some of the clothing that the First Lady is wearing on her vacation in Hawaii. Now that's a crock of shit. If she has the money and wants to spend it on clothing well that's her prerogative. It is just as lame as when they were criticizing Sarah Palin for the cost of her clothing on the campaign trail. The clothes cost what they cost. Not everyone has to be a K-Mart shopper. You shouldn't tell someone what they can eat or what they can wear or how they should live their life. I wish the first lady would sign on to that too. But I still have her back on this one.

She should buy whatever she wants and enjoy wearing it on vacation.

She will be getting a lot of wear out of it when they move back to Hawaii after the election. Just sayn'

Giants 31......Cowboys 14

Just sayn'

I hope we see those loser Packers in the NFC Championship game again.

(Correct for the correct score as you shouldn't blog while you are plastered)

Holy Miscasting Batman!

They have cast Anne Hathaway as the new Catwoman in the next Batman movie! Are you kidding me? Seriously? Following in the footsteps of Julie Newmar, Lee Meriweather, Eartha Kitt and Halle Berry you use this skinny bitch? Seriously?

They never get the DC Comics guys right. Marvel is the only ones who get it right.

Anne Hathaway as Catwoman?

Seriously?

I would rather check out the babe with the one eye and the three breasts!

blake said...I'm sure it's not your thing, Troop, but Matt Groening's post-"Simpsons" show "Futurama" has all the Presidents featured as heads in jars, as fodder for various jokes. Clinton comes on Leela, and Ford says "Don't mind him, ma'am, he gets this way around meaty women." Or George Washington (or Jefferson?) saying "Thou robots really cracketh me up."Nixon, on the other hand, has a central role, as he's run for President of Earth and won. And he's a recurring villainous character.On the commentary, Groening (who is about your age) says something like "I was so mad at Nixon in the '70s! But if I'd known 30 years later I'd still be getting such use out of him..."The Nixon stuff's hit-and-miss, though. The show has been brilliant but the last episodes I've seen relied heavily on really hacky leftist concepts (environmentalism, evil corporations, women's rights).A shame, really.

I would just watch it for the robot sex with the chick with one eye and three breasts.

But she finds it hard to swallow!

Hey Tim's favorite Ann Curry is now a style maven! She is being singled out for her personal style!

But look at this photo! These people need to eat something! Stat! Enough already!

Have a fuckin meatball for crying out loud!

If Winter is coming as slow as the next "Game of Thrones Book" I would still be wearing my Hawaiian shirt and speedo's

George R.R. Martin has posted one chapter of his next installment of the Game of Thrones series on his website. It was six years between books the last time and who knows how long we are going to have to wait for the new book called "The Winds of Winter." With the HBO series going into the second season it looks like he will be even more distracted. And we will be waiting again.

At least SM Stirling and Eric Flint are fair with us. They give us free chapters and snippets to wet our appetite but they publish pretty much one book a year. Martin has got to be kidding me.

Somebody said in reference to this long wait between books "George Martin is not your bitch."

Well he might not be my bitch but he definitely is a bitch.

Not that there's anything wrong with that

You know I am a big history fan and love to read books about American History. Especially the ones by Doris Kearns Goodwin which she lets us in on little know secrets of our Presidents. Well there is a new book by a different sleazy journalist named Don Fulsom who claims the Tricky Dick Nixon was gay!

His book claims that Nixon was having an affair with Bebre Rebo ISzo and that he was mobbed up and took bribes from the Mafia. Fulsom was the UPI bureau chief during the Nixon administration and has dug up a lot dirt that supposedly shows that Nixon was a drunk, a wife beater, a mobbed up courrpt douche and gay.

When the press gets it for you they never let it go. Guess what? All the Kennedys were mobbed up. Old man Joe was partners with Meyer Lansky and Frank Costello in the thirties. Who fucked around on his wife more than JFK? And who cares if Nixon was gay? Why now? What does it matter?

The only thing worse than a journalist is a lawyer.

It's time for new beginings!

So on Friday I didn't post much because I went to my old office. I cleaned out all of my old files and personal memorabilia and called the car service guy to pick me up so I could take everything home. After 37 years as an accountant I am officially retired.

I fit everything into four of those cardboard file boxes. It was interesting how your whole life can fit in a couple of boxes. For about twenty years I was all about going to the game. I had a bulletin board in my office and I would tack every ticket to every game I went to on the board. There were Yankee and Giant and Knick tickets. Tickets to opening day and many World Series games. Tickets to a bunch of world championship boxing matches with Ali, Tyson, Holyfield, Joe Fraizer, Larry Holmes, Sweet Pea Witaker, and a whole bunch more. NBA finales tickets. Just a whole lot of memories. But when you took them down they didn't ever fill on quarter of one box.

You see those things were in the past. They were fun sometimes a lot of fun. But what is past is past. It is a new day. I have a lot of new fun and exciting things that I will be able to talk about soon. I love to reminisce about the old days but it is a new day. An exciting day. A new Year.

I am putting those old memories in the cellar and not worrying about them anymore.

When you close a door another one opens. Walk through that door with me. It is going to be a fun ride.