My Aunt Lily never got over Uncle Herman after he left her to marry Carol Herman. She dreamed about him. She fantasized about him . In every meaningless sexual encounter she pretended she was having wild zombie sex with him. But it was just not the same.
After the wild years when she lived in the Spahn ranch with those girls and the weird guy named Charlie who played the guitar so badly....well she was lost. I was long gone to Hollywood to work as an actress. Little Eddie had moved out to go to veterinary college. Well at least until he got arrested for having sex with the animal cadavers. Grandpa had long ago moved to Greenwich Village and came out of the coffin. So Aunt Lily was all alone.
She would lay on the rug in her sexy undies fingering herself under a huge painting of Uncle Herman's head on the wall. She would thrust those ample digits into herself and moan and roll around.
It scared one of our UPS deliverymen to death.
I feel so sorry for my Aunt Lily.
7 comments:
I never knew Warren Spahn had a ranch.
Yeah he pitched to Johnny Sain who was the catcher and then prayed for rain.
Spahn and Sain and pray for rain!
Cookie Lavagetto.
Those were the two things my mother had absorbed about baseball. She also would put her hands on her head and flex her biceps, first the left biceps while looking at it, then her right biceps while looking at it, all the while with a mysterious Mona Lisa smile on her face. This was the one moment when she entertained us. Such, such was life.
Met Warren Spahn in a restaurant bar on Martha's Vineyard. My extended family were in the Ocean View Restaurant for a family reunion. We were having cocktails and waiting for out table of 26. In walks Warren and a couple other guys. He was so nice, particularly to the kids. He spoke directly to all the kids, bending down to be eye level. Bought him a couple Heinekens as he smoked his Pall Malls. Spoke of the Boston Braves and how he lived right near where my sister-in-law grew up. He could walk to the ballpark. My usually demure wife yelled[had a couple cocktails] "Oh my God, Warren Spahn..I got off school when you pitched in the World Series"[beating the Yanks]. He gave aa big smile and said, "Well, you must be from Wisconsin." All class. He was there to go blue fishing, a sport he fell in love w/ when he played in Boston.
George Spahn nicknamed all the Manson girls.
Great Manson trivia.
Here's more - if Squeaky had been properly trained in the operation of a semi-automatic handgun we would have had president Rockefeller.
Talk about your alternate histories!
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