Tales of Amy's Garden

Bigwig: Hyzenthlay.
Hyzenthlay: Sir?
Bigwig: I'd like to talk with you.
Hyzenthlay: I remember you Sir. Have you returned from the new warren?
Bigwig: No I will not be moving back here. You are well aware that I used to live in the warren here in the lady’s garden. But now I only come back to see what is going on and to avoid any trouble that might follow back to our new home. How goes it?
Hyzenthlay: Not well sir. It’s seems that the lady in the garden and her farmer friend have lost their minds.
Bigwig: What do you mean?
Hyzenthlay: Well do you know the big ant hill near the dung heap over by the barn.
Bigwig: Yes. What about it?
Hyzenthlay: Well it seem the farmer tripped and fell in it and disturbed and the ants got all crazy. They are swarming and making noise and running in and out of the anthill and it is really crazy. One seems to banging on a thimble like it is a drum and they are waving sticks and marching back and forth. They marched right up to the porch and are staying there and are refusing to leave.
Bigwig: But they are ants. Who cares about ants? They are insignificant. I mean you don’t want them at your picnic and all but who cares?
Hyzenthlay: Yes. I agree. But they seem to be very upset. The farmer took out his super 8 camera that he fished out of the neighbor’s trash to film everything in minute detail and the lady is yelling and screaming and scribbling notes like anything. She mostly writes about five letters and hour and puts them on her door. Yesterday she was screaming about napkins that people were leaving around. I didn’t see any napkins. Oh and they came from Texas for some reason. It is just too much now. She is just crying and carrying on like someone stole her carrots or something.
Bigwig: She can get crazy that way. Is she running around weeping in her underwear again?
Hyzenthlay: I am afraid so. She has scared all of the regulars out of the garden. The noisy blue jay has been gone for weeks and the grumpy badger doesn’t poke his head out of his hole more than once a week. The self involved crow and senile house cat are nowhere to be seen.
Bigwig: Are there any new people in the garden?
Hyzenthlay: Well there are always new people who wander in and out. There is slightly damaged squirrel with one leg who has been around. I think he is a pet of the lady or something because she seems to know him but doesn’t want to show it or let anyone else know it. He follows her around like she is a teacher or something. The only thing is that his fur is leaking or something so it looks like he got a dose of something bad and he wants everyone to catch it but it seems very skeevy and everyone is not interested.
Bigwig Wow things seem very lively. Oh no. She is running outside in her underwear again. I have seen enough. Carry on Hyzenthlay.
Hyzenthlay: Will you be coming back again soon sir...
Bigwig I will be back from time to time on patrol. I like to know what is going on. Hazel doesn’t like surprises. He will want to know. We might have to start passing out the sunglasses again. Nobody needs to see that.