I don't know if you have noticed.....

But I have a lot of trouble with authority. That is I don't respond well. The only person who can tell me what to do is my wife. Or at least I like to think that is the case. That was the cause of the big problems I had with the producers and the network when we made the show. I think guys like ND Spinelli and me were tortured by the nuns so much that we become rebels and want to tell everyone to go piss up a rope.

It can cause problems.

So we are going to the show and we have to get our badges. You wear them around your neck. Now they provide lanyards to wear the badge and when you walk in this dude with a tricorder zaps it to show that you attended. After that is is only around your neck so people can read it and tell where you store is from and who you are. Which we don't want anybody to know. So I always turn it backwards.

Anyway our daughter was with us yesterday and she needed to register on-site. We get on the line and this Chic-a-fil protestor guy is processing our forms. Now the wife and I are already in the system but he is making a big deal of checking us out when all he had to do is rip off the card and hand it back to us. But first he attaches to a red lanyard. Now we have our own personal lanyards that one of our vendors made for us. I has a spot for our business cards and another spot to put the cards of the people we are visiting at the show. So I go to this mo "That's ok don't waste it I have my own." He goes "No you have to wear ours for security purposes." What the fuck Nanny Bloomberg? What kind of security purpose is served by having a different colored lanyard. They have red for buyers and blue for exhibitors and yellow for guests. It is just a quick way for the vendors to id you. Nothing to do with security. What a bunch of bullshit. I just shake my head.

As we leave the table I take the lanyard and throw it in the garbage and put the ticket in my personal one. Nobody said jack about it in the show. Nobody stopped me. No buzzers went off. I was not surrounded with security personal. Nothing happened. What a bunch of bullshit. It is just another example of people wanting to control every fucking thing. What you eat. What you drink. What you wear. What the fuck.

Nobody knows the trouble I've seen

Yesterday I spent all day at Curve which is the lingerie show at the Javit's center. We are putting in our orders for stuff like Prima Donna bras and camisoles and of course Hanky Panky panties like the one in this photo. So I have to sit there as women model the various styles two inches from my face.

It's a tough job but somebodies got to do it.

 (PS I have your size Spinelli. Just sayin' I want you to ready for the Packers games)

You ever get the feeling.....

That you thought everyone would think you were Mel Gibson but it turns out you are Danny Glover?

The Summer of Boo Boo

The was no controlling Brother Bear. He was getting high and reading Charles Bukowski all day and all night. He never went to work at his job at the Jellystone Post Office. Then once the Internet came in there was no controlling him. He wasn't a bear anymore.

He was an animal.
(Stan and Jan Berenstain "Son of Boo Boo", The E True Hollywood Story of the Berenstain Bears)

A Challenge To The Dark

shot in the eye
shot in the brain
shot in the ass
shot like a flower in the dance

Japanese porno haircut

Chickenlittle gets a haircut

Allie gets a haircut!

Nd Spinelli emailed this video

AllenS emailed this video

EBL sent this haircut video over

Almost cut my hair.....like.....Oscar Gamble?

So you are sitting in the chair and Damien asks what kind of haircut do you want. Your choices:

Oscar Gamble
Sniead O'Conner
Anna Wintour
Billy Gibbons
Billy Idol

It's your choice so choose wisely.

Almost Cut My Hair

I almost cut my hair today....

I had to get a haircut today. The wife was on my ass because we have the trade shows next week at the Jacob Javits center and she wants me to look presentable. Not the curly pubic head of hair I had that youse guys enjoyed mocking in our hot dog photo's. I have to look suave and deboner.  So at about five thirty I dropped into the local barber shop on Court St.

Now I just started getting my hair cut at this joint about a year ago. It is a tiny store between 2nd and 3rd place and it is the definition of no frills. Previously I would get my hair cut at one of my clients. I always had one or two clients that had hair salons. They would come and go because that is a tough business. But some hair cutter would always be taking over some salon somewhere and knew me and would call me to do their taxes. But once I got out of the accounting game I stopped going to my ex-client. Mainly because she was a nasty cunt. She used to have a whole passel of Chinese girls working for her doing nails and waxing and what not. Then she replaced them with Mexicans. Well most of the them. The few that remained were always fighting. It was like West Side Story with the Sharks and the Egg Rolls. Did not make for a pleasant atmosphere. Although you learned  quite a few cool curse words in Chinese and Spanish.

So I started to go to this old school barber shop. There was an Italian owner named Damien who was an old school immigrant who spoke broken English. And  a burly ugly brute of a Russian woman who spoke even more fractured English.  Two chairs. Plenty of waiting. But no talking. It was almost like a secret society. I would come in. He would go "How-a you-a want-a cut-a you-a hair-a." "Short."  And he would cut it without any bullshit. It was great. I didn't know anything about him. He didn't know anything about me. It was perfect. But it just couldn't last.

He saw us one day as they were filming us as we were walking down Court St with the camera crew. The next time I was in the chair he asked me about it so I told him. He would put the show on the TV when we were on. And he started to talk to me.

Of course it didn't help that I also over tipped like I always do. You see the wife and I are too friendly. When we go to Marco Polo the waiters come down and sit at our table when their shift ends. I mean that is cool but you get to know too much about everybody's shit. I guess it must be like living in a small town and you get to know everybody's business.

Anyhoo I am sitting in the chair getting my pubic head hairs trimmed and some yuppie douchenozzle sticks his head in the door and asks if they are still open. It is after six o'clock and I was the last customer along with the guy who owns the oil company next door.  The douche is an Indian guy and he goes "Hey you can take another customer right?" Now Damien starts to sputter  "NO I'a closed. This is the last customer." "Com'on I know you can do it what's the big deal. How about Olga?" "No she-a no-a can-a do-a. We closed." The douche goes "Arrgh" and walks off with his wife and the three kids they have in a monster stroller. Then the fucking floodgates open.

"DIs-a strungo walks alla day up and a down Court St and he wants-a hair-a-cut. I haveta  go-a home-a. You know how-a it is in your store. Capido?"

I go of course. I mean we stay late all the time but the one thing people like to do is tell you how to run you business. Especially if they want you to do something for them. Olga chimed right in. "DA IS THE TRUTH! He waste all day and then he wants us to stay late. Why can't I go home to my family. If he needed haircut he had all day. Yuppie sum."

I told them "Fuckin' Immigrants. They think who the fuck they are." They both nod their heads and agree with me. 

Everybody wants to pull the ladder up behind them.

Then the door opens and this old guy named Mike comes in and sits down and waits for his haircut. Damien looks at me and I look at him. We both start laughing.

You see Mike is a regular customer. You have to stay for a regular customer. He earned the right. Just as if I came as he was closing he would stay. Of course I wouldn't do that and that is the point. You earn it. Then the proprietor can put up with stuff. TIpping and spending and being a normal person goes a long way. Something yuppie douchenozzles don't get. And you couldn't teach it to them. They have a sense of entitlement. I hate people with a sense of entitlement. They think they can do whatever the fuck they want.

You know what I mean?

Summertime

The NTTAWWT Corrall.

The Packers are the only football team that refers to the start of training camp as pitchers and catchers.

Just sayn'

'Hold On I'm Comin'

Hey stop holding on to those tits.....

We don?t have time left to regret, hold on
And we?ll take more than common sense, hold on
So stop your wondering, take a stand, hold on
'Cause there?s more to life than just to live, hold on

'Cause an empty room can be so loud
There?s too many tears to drown them out
So hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on

One single smile, a helping hand, hold on
It?s not that hard to be a friend, hold on
So don?t give up, stand 'til the end, hold on
'Cause there?s more to life than just to live, hold on

'Cause an empty room can be so loud
There?s too many tears to drown them out
So hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on

When you love someone and they break your heart
Don?t give up on love, have faith, restart

Just hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on

When it falls apart and you're feeling lost
All your hope is gone, don?t forget to hold on
Hold on!

'Cause an empty room can be so loud
There?s too many tears to drown them out
So hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on

When you love someone and they break your heart
Don?t give up on love, have faith, restart
Just hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on

'Cause an empty room can be so loud
There?s too many tears to drown them out
So hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on

When you love someone and they break your heart
Don?t give up on love, have faith, restart
Just hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on

Whose that girl?

Normally she is in a movie where everything happens at night and everybody is smoking and nothing as is as it seems.

She is the ultimate film noir tootsie.

Whose that girl?

Deep thoughts.....by Titus

Titus said...
I have moved on Chick, but I did think you knew me a little better.

Do you guys know my friends from Revere call the vagine Meat Curtains-I fucking love that term.

Meat Curtains. I love the Meat.







tits.

The Sixto Sense

"I don't why I am not still in the Major Leagues."
"The Brewers need me. I am better than that maricon who take the needle in the butt."
"Maybe I can get the Yanqui's to sign me."
"Maybe if I pretend to be a Jap. The Yanqui's love the Yellow Peril."
"I will squint and eat raw fish."
"I see slanty eye people."

Marilyn's Diary

I got really worried about Aunt Lily after Uncle Herman left her. She went off the deep end. She lost a lot of weight and started hanging around with a new crowd. There were movie stars and Polish Directors and coffee heiresses and famous hair dressers. I think I told you she banged all of the Beach Boys. Even that freak Brian. He made her make Pet Sounds and everything.

Luckily she started to move away from them before everything went south. She really got into art and started to be a beatnik. She was an artist model for a bunch of artists. But her favorite was the cartoon guys. She started a long affair with R. Crumb. And he was a crumb let me tell you.

But he did make some great drawings of Aunt Lily.

Even though he gave her the clap.

Whose that author?

A man condemning the income tax because of the annoyance it gives him or the expense it puts him to is merely a dog baring its teeth, and he forfeits the privileges of civilized discourse. But it is possible to criticize it on other and impersonal grounds. A government, like an individual, spends money for any or all of three reasons: because it needs to, because it wants to, or simply because it has it to spend. The last is much the shabbiest. It is arguable, if not manifest, that a substantial portion of the great spring flood of billions pouring into the Treasury will in effect get spent for the last shabby reason.

Whose that girl?

Second rate star of second rate shows she played a bitch on TV but was a pale imitation of the real thing.
A Brit but not bright she made her co-star long for those damned dirty apes.

Whose that girl?

Deep thoughts.......by Titus

 

 

 

 

 

Titus said...

Whatever happened to the Olympic Gymnast from Russia? I believe her name was either Olga Cuntlick or Olga Cuntlips?

She was famous for the Cuntlip Twist, which she did on the bars. I believe her cunt lips would grap the bar and she would then rotate around the bar while both hands and legs were pointed and then her cunt lips would release from the bar and she would fly through the hair doing a hamel camel toe and then "sticking" it.

The Cuntlip twist was especially famous for the "pop" sound that the cunt lips would make when they released themselves from the bar.

Many tried to emulate the Cuntlip Twist but none succeeded.

A true artist if you ask me.

tits.

Hide your heart girls.....he will be here soon!

Exile On Main Street (1972)

Whose that girl?

She is often mentioned here as a big time villain. We are always mocking her. But she was hot back in the day. She was a dirty girl. Always in the mud. Wrestling with another TV babe.

And when you saw that.....everybody went  Whoa!!!!!!!!!!!

Whose that girl?

Summertime is vacation time.....

And I wish we were back in Seatuck. We decided to go back for another week in August. We will be by ourselves this time as Chuck and Amy are too busy. We will miss them.

But you have to take your vacation when you can enjoy it.

We plan to take a variation on this photo every year.

I am kind of tired.

It has been a really busy week. Lots of orders to get out. We had to go to the fabric show. A whole big bunch of people coming to the store. Just busy every minute.

I am starting to fall asleep in my pasta.

That can't be good.

I try to be refined and genteel at all times

In view of my position as a reality star, I have to watch my image. No late night calls to the police. No vomiting in the gutter. No running naked down Court St. None of that.

At all times I have to observe the niceties and make sure that I project the proper image.

That is why I didn't enter the contest this July 4th.

It wouldn't be right.

I love fine dining.....

You know. When you go to a great restaurant. Look over the menu. Weigh you choices carefully. Think about an appetizer. Consult with the waiter and the maitre d.

And get that well deserved fine dining experience that you can only get in a sophisticated center of taste and culture like New York City.

I don't often drink beer......

Well not often enough for my taste.

But I have been pretty busy so I took some time at the Mexican restaurant to enjoy some Dos Equis.

And you know who was sitting at the table across from me?

Sixto. With Cal Ripken's Mom.

Sixty Already has his farewell planned.....just sayn'

The Sixto Sense

"No one is paying any attention to me anymore."
"I post comment after comment and no one cares."
"I must do something...anything to get a reaction."
"I know.'

"I will kidnap Cal Ripken's mother."
"I see TV coverage."

I am just not buying it.....

I mean you go to a Batman movie and the Catwoman is not Julie Newmar.

That's dangerous.

I mean a fella could go beserk or something.

Just sayn'

Marilyn's Diary

Uncle Herman and I had to find ways to spend time together that wouldn't make Aunt Lily suspicious. She was my Aunt and I loved her. I didn't want to hurt her. But I loved my Uncle Herman so much more.

We worked up this little magic act that we used to perform at the VFW and at the annual Monster Mash. He would do card tricks and different illusions and I was his lovely assistant. It was a lot of fun. And it gave us an excuse to spend time together to practice our act. I especially loved his favorite trick.

He would make his penis disappear.

But it would be hidden in just the right place.

Deep thoughts.....By Titus

Titus said...
Anyone been to the Dickeyville Grotto, Wisconsin?

It's where all the fudge packers hang out.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

It's just my team.

Tits

It's all there in Black and White

"Can I help you little man?"
"No I think I am here to help you. I am here to replace Dr. Trey who is busy. My name is Ed. Are you the Blond?"
"I am sorry little boy. The Blond is a figment of your imagination. Now why don't you run along and write some fan mail to someone who is interested. Oh and one more thing."
"Yes?"
"Stop staring at my tits."
"I can't help it they are at eye level."
"Well cut it out. It's all fun and games until someone get's their eyes poked out."

Hey this is a pretty funny show...

I had a chance to watch a little TV a couple of days ago and caught this new show on TBS. Or TNT. One of them. Anyway it is called "Sullivan and Son" and it is kind of funny.

The premise is that there is this guy who has an Irish father who has a bar in Pittsburgh and his Mom is Korean. That is pretty funny to start with. Anyway the kid works in New York and he comes home for the bars 40th Anniversary and his father says he is going to sell it. So the son decides to quit his big job in New York and move home and buy the bar. The ethnic stereotypes are great. You have a bunch of knuckleheads hanging out at the bar who are all brother alcoholics. Brian Doyle-Murray plays a racist white guy who could be my doppleganger. Or maybe Sixty's. Or something.

Anyway I think it is pretty funny and it is On Demand so if you get a chance check it out.

There's no crying in baseball....

"I hear the Yankees got a new player...."
"Yeah I think from Japan..."
 "Wait I hope it is who I think it is..."
 "It's Ichiro."
 "Really....shit....nevermind."

Remembrance of things Pabst

So we went to the trade show at FIT (Fashion Institute of Technology) last week to source out some new factories and trim and fabricators. We went to the FIT museums which had a bunch of classic dresses from all the great designers.

Since we found ourselves in the city in the middle of the week we decided to have "date night." We like to take a night for just of two of us to go out and hang out like we were dating. It keeps things fresh so to speak.

We wanted to go to this restaurant we went about a year ago but I couldn't remember the name. Lisa had her I-pad so we tried to look it up. We were in Madison Square Park and we saw they had all these booths set up. It seemed they were doing a charity event where all of these restaurants had set up booths for sampling. But you had to pay $175 per person! Holy shit Batman! Duck!

I mean they had duck but who wants to pay that much for little sample plates.

We sat in the park and tried to figure out the name of the place. I thought it was something like "Possibilities" or "Shenanigans" or some shit like that. In the end we found this restaurant that we were originally going to go to last year when we found this joint. We decided to just meander around and if we didn't find it we would go to this Italian joint on 17th St. Sure enough as we walked up 17th we found it. It was called "Incognito."

Now the last time we were there the guy up-sold us but it was a great meal. We got there at five o'clock which for us is unheard of. We normally go to eat around ten at night. So we decided to start with a cocktail before dinner. Something we almost never do. The wife had a incognito Cosmo and I had a "Cuban Collins" which was just a rum drink in lemonade. We ordered a couple of great appetizers.  One was figs wrapped in prosciutto with some Gorgonzola cheese. The other was a couple of veal meatballs. I got a very nice bottle of Tuscan wine to go with the meal. I had the special which was goat cheese ravioli in a tomato based sauce which had a heavy dollop of balsamic vinegar. It made the sauce both piquant and blood red. Really tasty. The wife had taglatini in a wild mushroom, butter and sage sauce. Really nice.  And two great deserts. A triple order of ice cream (cappuccino, vanilla and fig) and a chocolate mousse.  With a couple glasses of Muscato and Italian dessert wine.

Since we were the first ones in the joint we were there as the place filled up. They seemed to have a big reservation of about thirty people. What was weird was that it was about twenty six woman and four guys.  They had a table of eight set up right across from us. They were a bunch of typical New Yorkers. Or what the rest of you guys think of as New Yorkers. ( You know what I mean Amy) And something kind of funny happened.

You see we had a long conversation with the Maitre d' guy the first time we came. He and the bald headed dude in the photo who is the chef are the partners in the restaurant.  He up-sold last year because the joint had only been open a  month or so. But that was cool. Lisa wanted to see if he remember us. I told her to fuggedabout it since we hadn't been there for a year and he meet so many people there is no way he remember us.  Anyhoo they call him to the table next to us with the eight people. It seems they wanted eight separate checks. The waitress was losing her shit. So the Maitre d' guy figures it out. As he turns to leave I call him over. He goes "Yes sir is everything satisfactory?"  I go "Yes everything was great. Just one thing. My wife and I would like separate checks." He starts laughing and goes "Don't I know you guys." And we explained and did sort of remember us because we had talked about the show and stuff. It was pretty funny.

But I still had to pay the whole check.

The Sixto Sense

"Quiene es su Padre?"
"It is me....Sixto."
"Maricon."
"I am the one. You know it is verdad."
"I see Padres."
"Peeing."
"It is Padre Pios."

The Summer of Boo Boo

We tried to pinpoint just where Brother Bear went wrong. We think it came about one summer when a bunch of coed's from Michigan were staying in the park. They loved the wildlife and loved the nightlife and loved to give us treats. One in particular was very coquettish and was always flirting. One day she was in the shower and was soaping herself all up. She had long lustrous brown hair and a cute little caboose that she wiggled at all the campers.

Brother Bear was in love with her.  He sort of stalked her. He would take nude photo's of her in the shower or when she got drunk and went to sleep on the picinic table. Brother Bear had it bad.

So one night he snuck into the shower when she was all covered in soap and she was singing. I think it was "Push push in the bush" or maybe "Sexual Healing." You see she was from Detroit so she liked the Motown sound. Anyway when she washed the soap out of her eyes and saw an aroused bear in her shower she started screaming. The Rangers came and it was a big scandal. Brother Bear had to go to counseling and had to register as a sex offender. So he had a grudge against brunettes.

That was the begining of the "Summer of Boo Boo."
(Stan and Jan Berenstain "Son of Boo Boo", The E True Hollywood Story of the Berenstain Bears)

My dick is for hire......

"I don't get it ND. How can they confuse us? We are two different people."
"Don't pay any attention Trooper. I mean that guy keeps talking about his wife when we know it is really just a blow up doll. He doesn't have a clue."
"Shouldn't we have a clue? I mean we are fucking detectives after all."
"Look if they can't tell the difference between the two of us it ain't work talking about."
"I guess that's the truth. Let's get some donuts."

Marilyn's Diary

When Uncle Herman started to touch me I could not endure the caress of another.We tried to be
discreet and I had to pretent to be interested in mere boys.

None of these pimply college boys could compare to my Uncle Herman. You see he was built from spare parts but in one part in paticular there was no room to spare. It was so huge and so agile and strong......it was hard to describe....well let me put it this way..... he could barely control it....we didn't know where the Doctor got it to attach.....but whenever Uncle Herman was around a bowl of peanuts it would worm it's way out of his pants and try to stuff the peanuts up his ass.

I had to keep up the pretense so my Aunt Lily and Grandpa would not suspect. Uncle Herman even helped. Through his baseball connection he fixed me up with a pitcher from the Angels named Bo who was a big playboy but the date was a dud. I mean he had a Corvette and a lot of money and good drugs but he didn't have a prehensile thirty inch penis. Nobody did. Except my Uncle Herman.

I miss him.

I still can't eat peanuts.

Yes I know we can star in this movie....

"Hey Bob do you have any weed?"
"Well Joe is a private person but I think I can get you an authograph."
"Have you ever been to Toot Shore's?"
"Oh and by the way."
"Stop staring at my tits!"

I hope I never lose my......... Sense of Wonder

I hope I never lose my..... Sense of Wonder

That's what we are doing......

Cleaning Windows

My Cross to Bear

I recently finished Greg Allman's autobiography "My Cross to Bear." It was remarkably good. He talks about what it means to be a rock star and didn't spare himself of make excuses. He told the truth about the lifestyle and all the missteps he had along the way. I enjoyed it.

I am not a big Allman Brothers fan. I like some of their stuff that everyone else knows "Sweet Melissa" "Dreams" "Tied to the Whipping Post."  I don't much care for Dicky Bett's "Rambling Man" because that is like "Sweet Home Alabama." Every freaking classic rock station plays that shit to death. I think the four most played songs on those stations are "Stairway to Heaven" "Rambling Man" "Thunder Road" and "Sweet Home Alabama." They are so played out that you just can't listen to it anymore.

It is funny to read the guy who wrote the song say the same thing. I remember when I saw Frank Sintra in Altantic City at the end of his string. He was just going through the motions. I mean the dude was about a million years old but too many people were riding his gravy train for him to stop. He did a half ass medley of songs that all the rubes cheered for: Strangers in the Night, Summer Wind, Fly Me to the Moon. But then he did a great rendition of "Angel Eyes" which was heartfelt and moving. He really turned on when he sang that song. It is realtively obscure but man he wailed. But the crowd was unsettled and unfamilar and didn't appreciate what they just had heard. One douchenozzle had to let us know by shouting out his request.

"FREEEEEE BBBBIIIIRRRRDDDD!!!!!"

The Sixto Sense.....

"Why are you staring at me like that chica?"
"You like my eyes I can tell es verdad."
"I have always had the beautiful eyes. Why do the chica's not dig me?"
"I sit here night after night and entertain you and you never reply."
"I am getting pissed."
"It is raining so there is no ball game."
"Maybe I will go to the movies."
"Look.....I see Batman fans."

Send it.............

"Sometimes I feel......."

"Into The Mystic,"

Rave On John Donne..........you didn't write that shit!

Whose that girl with the finger?

No she is not ND Spinelli's date to the senior prom. Although she also became a lesbian.

Not that there is anything wrong with that.

She loves Rock and Roll and the Pink Taco. Or maybe the Crimson one when you irritate it.

Anyhoo whose that girl?

The Dogs Days are never over.....

Betty Rubble is a dirty girl....because the Dog Days are never over...for her!

Betty is just a dirty girl.

The dog days of the Summer are her favorite time.

She has a ticket to ride.

So to speak.

She is such a dirty girl.

In-sourcing is a bunch of bullshit.

I have been reading some of the political blogs and the new buzz work is "in-sourcing." That is taking manufacturing away from China and bringing it back to the USA. What a big bunch of bullshit.

I actually manufacturer clothes. In a small way but getting bigger every day. One of the main complaints I get from customers or actual people who complain but don't buy is that our stuff is expensive. Well it is all made in the USA and that adds a significant cost to it. We maintain strict quality control and are on top of our manufacturers. It is a non stop job.

Yesterday I went to a trade show sponsored at FIT (Fashion Institute of Technology) where a bunch of factories and fabric makers and trim makers and other necessary parts of the manufacturing process came to get new customers. It was kind of a joke.

There were only two real factories there. One was a Chinese guy in Williamsburg whose numbers were the same as what I am paying now. Another is a big concern in Sunset Park which we might change our production to after this next run of dresses. These guys are Chinese too but they actually speak English and have a bunch of big clients. We might go with them because if we are going to pay this premium we might as well get it right the first time. Finding someone to actually make the clothes is almost impossible. A lot of our production is in LA but we are having problems because it is so far away. So we are thinking of doing a lot more here in New York. We need a factory that is hungry and will give us a break so we can give them more work. It is almost impossible without the hard work of beating the bushes to find these obscure joints that we can work a deal with. It is almost a full time job in itself.

Luckily it is not us that is doing this. Someone else did it. Not us. Or something.

People in politics have no idea how the real world works.

The Sixto Sense

"Come I always love to take the photo with my fans."
"So do you like the beisbol young man? I bet you like to play with the balls no? I know I do?"
"Say what kind of name is Garage? Swedish?"
"Anyway you must stay for after the game. We have a great tradition here at County Staduim. It is not the Old Timers like the Yanquis. Or Banner Day like the Mets. We take out the wieners and let them race."
"Do you like to race with you wieners?"
"Oh look....I see wieners."

Whose that girl?

Great Caesars Ghost her boss had the same name as Clark Kents boss but she never had to put out like Lois Lane.

She shuffled papers but you knew what was going on under those business suits.

A fifties cutie who did it with a PI. Jealous Spinelli?

Whose that girl?

My dick is for hire.

"It's not easy being a PI. You have be on stakeouts all the time. Bad coffee. Bad food. Finding out the worst about people. But Nd Spinelli never gives up on a case."
"The hardest thing is getting out from behind the wheel of my Lincoln when I have to chase a perp. Fucking Baranaby can do it faster and the douche is like 110 years old. I mean I know I have put on a few pounds."
"But this vest. Looking good."

Whose that author?

All I saw was the dame standing there in the glare of the headlights waving her arms like a huge puppet and the curse I spit out filled the car and my own ears. I wrenched the wheel over, felt the rear end start to slide, brought it out with a splash of power and almost ran up the side of a cliff as the car fishtailed. The brakes bit in, gouging a furrow in the shoulder, then jumped to the pavement and held.
Somehow I had managed a sweeping curve around the babe. For a few seconds she had been living on stolen time because instead of getting out of the way she had tried to stay in the beam of the headlights. I sat there and let myself shake. The butt that had fallen out of my mouth had burned a hole in the leg of my pants and I flipped it out the window. The stink of burned rubber and brake lining hung in the air like smoke and I was thinking of every damn thing I ever wanted to say to a hairbrained woman so I could have it ready when I got my hands on her.

That was as far as I got. She was there in the car beside me, the door slammed shut and she said, "Thanks, mister."

The Sixto Sense

"Why are you reading my posts."
"You know I am the only one awake at this time."
"I have no job so I can post nonsense all night."
"Since I no play the beisbol I just sit and listen to you tube video's all night  while I post on third rate blogs."
"But I was once the best player in all the Dominican."
"And my hair was perfect."
"Oscar Gamble was a pussy."
"He had the pussy hair."
"I had beautiful hair."
"My hair was just like Celia Cruz."
"Now my life is just like a canival."
"But yusted are the clowns."
"I see clown people."

You Didn't Build This City

Although he was often credited with inventing the telephone, in fact Alexander Graham Bell did not create the company the bore his name and brought instant communication to the masses. In fact it was a government bureaucrat who was responsible because with out the taxes put on communications there would be no phone company. In fact the first words spoken through this invention were not as common cited "Watson come here." It was in fact "Watson I must pay more taxes so my worthless neighbors can live a life of ease while I toil in their stead."

The first phrase was just for the common people who do not understand the nuances like the Harvard elite.
( You Didn't Build This City on Rock and Roll, The Government Did, Doris Kearns Goodwin, Harvard University Press 2012)