Happy New Year, See you in 2009

Well that's that. We are closing early tonight and I don't think I will be blogging tomorrow so Happy New Year to all of youse guys.

See you in 2009.

Hey it's been way too long!

Hey it's been way too long since we took an Adrienne break.

Hey I am always very glad I am married, but especially on New Years Eve!

Hey for all my single commenters who are out tonight looking for love in all the wrong places: Please be careful out there!

Jager!!!

Hey they are going to freeze their nuts off!

Man I just went over to the bodega to get some half and half for the coffee and it is freakin' freezing in New York today. They say with the wind chill it will go down to zero. Those idiots in Times Square are going to freeze their nuts off tonight.

New styles for 2009!

We just got few calls from our vendors to wish a happy new year. In paticular the one that the wife helps design dresses. We have been doing pretty good with the early 60's retro style but we need to come up with something new for the spring.

We just know that it is not going to be seventies style.

No freakin' way.

I remember when!

Jim Hardy: [trying to describe Linda] She was sort of a medium built, medium height. With a nice evening gown on with a belt in the back. She's sorta built like the girl I knew from the corner drugstore who used to play pinball. Conshwella Schlepkiss. I remember she was high man three weeks in a row.
Danny Reed: Happy New Year!

Ted Hanover: Oh, don't do that!

(Holiday Inn, 1942)

Today's gratuitous bath tub scene, RH Hardin puts in his two cents!

Once Blake emailed his bathtub photo, everyone wanted to get in on the act. So RH sent a photo of how he intends to spend New Years eve since he doesn't own a TV.

He has a kind of buffalo bill in the Silence of the Lambs thing going on.

Rh you freak me out man.

Happy New Year Troopers!

Happy New Years to everyone. People always ask what party people like me and the wife like to do on New Years. When we were dating we went out. The first New Years we were together we went to the Campbell Apartment in Grand Central Station. This is a bar that was the private apartment of a big time railroad executive back in the day and is huge with great art-deco furnishings and decorations. They had a twenty piece orchestra with a guy who was a pretty good Frank Sinatra impersonator. I mean he didn't try to look like Frank but he sounded just like him. Anyway it was black tie and you got orderves and champagne all night for $100 per person. It was sweet. After midnight we went to a few of the joints in Midtown that I do the taxes for and carried on into the wee hours.

But in recent years we have been working too hard. So any chance we have to stay home is heaven. We go out to eat a lot sometimes three or four times a week. We finish at the store so late that there really isn't time to cook and you don't want to deal with the cleanup. So staying home is great.

And we get to enjoy my traditional bachelor New Years Eve fare. Tater Tots and pigs in a blanket. It's a family tradition.

I hope every one has a happy and a healthy and a very prosperous New Year.

How soon they forget.

Chico: Villages like this they make up a song about every big thing that happens. Sing them for years.
Chris Adams: You think it's worth it?
Chico: Don't you?
Chris Adams: It's only a matter of knowing how to shoot a gun. Nothing big about that.
Chico: Hey. How can you talk like this? Your gun has got you everything you have. Isn't that true? Hmm? Well, isn't that true?
Vin: Yeah, sure. Everything. After awhile you can call bartenders and faro dealers by their first name - maybe two hundred of 'em! Rented rooms you live in - five hundred! Meals you eat in hash houses - a thousand! Home - none! Wife - none! Kids... none! Prospects - zero. Suppose I left anything out?
Chris Adams: Yeah. Places you're tied down to - none. People with a hold on you - none. Men you step aside for - none.
Lee: Insults swallowed - none. Enemies - none.
Chris Adams: No enemies?
Lee: Alive.
Chico: Well. This is the kind of arithmetic I like.
Chris Adams: Yeah. So did I at your age.
(The Manificent Seven, 1960)

Hey some things you can't fix.

Chickenlittle made a good try to get garage mahal to come over to see his threads but he wasn't biting. I don't think it was because he has anything against us. It's just that he is a little dense. You know. He does live in Wisconsin. And he is a Packer fan. So there you go.

Do you believe me or your lying eyes?

Meade and Darcy were talking about how guys lie. It's true guys lie. As do women. It's all part of the great game. But as you get older you realize that you should just tell the truth. It's too much trouble to remember lies. And if she is impressed with your lies what is she going to do when she finds out you are a lying bastard. Now in a one night situation it can work out just fine that gets old real fast. Everyone has to go through that stage. But sooner or later you learn that honesty is the best policy.

As far as letting your little sister visit Trooper Yorks place, it's the best thing for her. She has to learn that men are dogs. You just have to train us. A little food something to drink and a place to pee and we are happy.

Jeez they were laying it on a little thick today.

Jeez they were laying it on a little thick at Althouse today. I guess subtlety is dead.

It' neck and neck.

Hey it's neck and neck between Mary Ann and the professor. I guess I have a lot of the dolls voting. Or else Titus is stuffing the ballot box. Or something.

See what happens when you carry a book into a bar?

Toot’s Shors Saloon, April 15, 1951
After a workshop at the Actors Studio Arthur Miller decides to go slumming and goes across the street to Toot’s Shors Saloon carrying a copy of Albert Camus “The Stranger.”
Toots: Hey Artie you fuckin Bloshie how they hanging.
Arthur Miller: Good evening to you Falstaffian vulgarian. I have come in for a small libation.
Toots: Hey there is someone I want you to meet. Might loosen you up a little (walks Miller over to a banquet where Marilyn Monroe is sitting with her agent) Hey Kid, I want you to meet Artie Miller, he’s an egghead and a commie but a nice guy even though he is afraid to show it….Artie this is Marilyn Monroe.
Marilyn: (in a breathy sexy voice) Hi Artie. Nice to meet ya. (She stands up and extends her hand shyly and extends her hand)
Arthur Miller: (Shakes with Marilyn and stands awkwardly, puts hands in his pocket) Hello Miss Monroe. I actually prefer to be called Arthur.
Toots: Hey lets siddown and have a couple of pops.
Marilyn: That sounds like fun. (Marilyn sits down opposite Arthur, and as she does her legs are slightly open. She is not wearing any underwear) So Arthur what do you do?
Arthur Miller: I am a playwright Miss Monroe.
Marilyn: Wow you must be a real egghead like Toots said. What is that you are reading?
Arthur Miller: Oh just something by Camus. I feel very existential tonight. That’s why I am out with proles.
Toots: Wait a minute, she ain’t a pro.
Marilyn: You must be very smart. How do you keep all those words in your head? You probably can fit an entire library in you head.
Arthur Miller: Not really. It’s normal for an educated person and not anything you should brag about.
Marilyn: On the other hand I bet I can fit your entire penis in my mouth
Toots Shor: Blleeaaaahhhh (spits out his drink he’s laughing so hard) Marilyn: What do you think about that Artie
Arthur Miller: I think that is definitely something to be proud about. Check.
Toots Shor: (still laughing) Don’t worry about it kid it’s on the house. Youse guys go out and get all existential on each other.

Today's gratuitous bath tub scene, Blake is at it again. This time he's serious!

Today's gratuitous bath tub scene, Blake is at it again. This time he is serious. He emailed me a copy of a photo of him in the bathtub. Why should Amanda Blake be the only one to show off her gams.

This is for the dolls.

I'm leaving you in Raquel Welch tonight.

Chickenlittle asked if I riffing off an old Johnny Carson/Raquel Welch routine from the tonight show.

When I think of Raquel I am not riffing off.

So to speak.

The Latin Quarter 2am at the club.

Jorge Posada: Hey Derek it’s really strange being here in the city off season. The tour of the new Stadium was sweet.
Derek: Yeah I can’t wait for spring training.
Jorge Posada: Yeah me too. Man those Giants are getting all the action man. Look at that Armani Bradshaw. That’s one hot chica he’s got hanging on him there.
Derek Jeter: Well they are the World Champs. They get the glory and the girls now. It’s been a while since we won.
Jorge Posada: You’re breaking my heart Chico. You get all the pussy you want man.
Joba Chamberlain: That’s right Mr. Jeter. You get all the girls.
Derek Jeter: True. It's been a lot better since Plaxico shot himself in the balls. Hey look over there. Holy Shit! It' A-Rod.
Jorge Posada: And he's got that puta Madonna with him.
Derek Jeter: Oh man we got to roll up on that. This is too sweet.
(Jeter, Posada and Joba walk across the club to say hello)
Derek Jeter: Hey guys howz it going? (Fist bumps and air kisses all around)
Jorge Posada: Hey Jefe. How ya doing?
A-Rod: Hey honey let me introduce you to my teammates. Derek, Jorge and the Beaver.
Madonna: Hey I'm the beaver.
Joba: Nice to meet you Miss Beaver.
Derek: It's just an expression rook. So how have you been. You guys were really all
all over the papers.
A-Rod: Well you know how it is Jeets.
Jorge Posada: What Jeter? He keeps all that stuff private.
Madonna: Well I don't see why. Any publicity is good publicity.
Joba:(under his breath) Not a DUI at a strip club.
Madonna: What?
A-Rod: Something about a strip club (The song "When I think about you I touch Myself" comes on)
Madonna: Oh Allie Baby it's our song. (Madonna stips off her top and starts giving A-Rod a dirty lap dance)
Jeter and Posada look at each other and mouth: "Allie Baby"
(The song ends and Madonna slug a shot of Kabala water and Patron) Hey Derek it's time for you to find a real woman. Not a skank like Mariah. Hey I got Whitney Houstons number. Let me give her a call, she's always ready for a party.
Derek Jeter: Thanks but we have to go. We are working out tommorrow so we'll see you.
(Jeter, Posada and Joba flee the club)
Jorge Posada: Oh man, Whitney Houston. "Bobbie wheres my crack at." It's going to be a long season.

Assignment Earth

Gary Seven: That, Miss Lincoln, is simply my cat
Miss Lincoln: Well I love the way you stroke that pussy.
Gary Seven: Miss Lincoln I feel that is not appropriate
Miss Lincoln: Oh don't worry, Gloria Steinem is still wearing her bra.
(Star Trek, Assignment Earth 1968)

Of course Mary Ann had the weed you know!

Of course, Mary Ann had the weed so maybe that is why she was so popular.

A lot of people diss Ginger and I don't know why?

A lot of people like to diss Ginger and I don't know why. I mean I know she plays a selfish stupid character but she is one hot dish.

I love black and white photos, don't you?

My question is the eternal one: Ginger or Mary Ann?

My question is the eternal one: Ginger or Mary Ann?

Check the poll, results later.

If Beyonce is Ginger then who is Mary Ann?

New York Post (December 29, 2008)

THE creator of "Gilligan's Island" has signed to make movie version of the classic TV series.
And he says he wants Michael Cera, one of the stars of "Arrested Development," to play Gilligan.
Sherwood Schwartz says a movie is in the works - and that the series will likely be re-imagined for the big screen like so many other vintage shows have been.
Schwartz also said he'd like to see Beyoncé Knowles in the role of Ginger, according to a report in TV Guide.
Cera, who seems to specialize in nebbish roles, is reportedly the lone hold-out in plans to make a movie version of "Arrested Development" sometime next year.

I think the casting is all wrong. Edward Norton should be Gilligan and Angelina Jolie should be Ginger. Beyonce should be Mary Ann who understates her looks and is hotter than ginger. William Hurt is Mr. Howell with Patti Lupones as Mrs. Howell, Nils from Frazier is the professor and Drew Carey should be the skipper. Or the According to Jim guy.

Hey this wood floats!

James Bond: [Plenty O'Toole enters Bond's hotel room] Well, if you'd like to come in, Plenty. Plenty O'Toole: Oh, how pretty, what a super place you have!

James Bond: Mmm... [Plenty kisses him; Bond unzips her purple satin dress and it falls from her, leaving her almost completely naked except for her purple high heels and her transparent pink panties]

Plenty O'Toole: [holding up a finger, moving back] Just give me one second, lover. [she walks into the bedroom]

James Bond: [Bond picks up her dress and tosses it onto a couch. He turns on a lamp and finds a goon pointing a gun at him] Good evening. [other lights come on, revealing another goon, also pointing a gun at him]

James Bond: Well, I'm afraid you've caught me with more than my hands up.

Plenty O'Toole: [being forced out of the bedroom by a third goon, her arms folded across her chest protectively] Hey, what the hell is this? A pervert's convention or something? [the other goons come over and pick her up, carrying her over to the window]

Plenty O'Toole: Now listen, you can't do this to me! Stop that! I've got friends in this town! [she is thrown out of the window and lands in the pool]

James Bond: Such a waste, I believe she was already wet.

(Diamonds are Forever, 1971)

Chickenlittle has thrust, so to speak!

Mac: [very rapidly, with a thick Scottish accent] Thrust! I went over my calculations, hen, and I forgot the key element missing is thrust!
Rocky: [after a long pause] I didn't get a word of that.
Mac: Thrust. Other birds, like ducks and geese, when they take off, what do they have? [shouts] Mac: Thrust!
Rocky: I swear she ain't using real words.
Ginger: She said we need more thrust.
Rocky: Oh, thrust! Of course we need thrust. Why, thrust and flying are, well, like this. [crosses fingers]
Rocky: See, that's flying and that's thrust.
Mac: Aye we need that chickenlittle lad, he has all the thrust we need.
Rocky: I don't know ever since he got into auto-erotica with that waitress you just can't talk to him.
(Chicken Run, 2000)

Frosty's got Hot Pants!!!!!!!!

New York Post Weird But True (December 29, 2008)

Hallmark Cards recalled some 7,000 jumbo snow globes last week because they can act as a magnifying glass to sunlight and cause fires.
There have been two reports of the snow globes igniting nearby materials.

I don't like to gamble.

I don't like to gamble, the way to get a lot of traffic is hot chicks, movie stars and jokes. This photo has all three.

The Beautiful Lana Wood as Plenty O'Toole and Sean as Bond, James Bond. Of course the joke is that white dinner jacket. Who wears that? I saw a guy wear one on a one day cruise not too long ago. It was pretty damn funny.

The Jets suck as usual.

New York Post December 29, 2008

By BRIAN COSTELLO

The Eric Mangini era is over.
Acting in a sudden and swift fashion, the JetsNew York Jets fired their head coach hours after Sunday's season-ending 24-17 loss to the Dolphins. Jets owner Woody Johnson and general manager Mike Tannenbaum announced the decision this morning at the team's New Jersey headquarters.
"For the current New York Jets organization, we've made the decision to move on," Johnson said. "It's a judgment call."
Johnson avoided giving specific reasons for the firing.

Hee, hee. Did I tell you lately that the Giants are going to win the Super Bowl?

Today's gratuitous bath tub scene, Blake is at it again!

Today's gratuitous bath tub scene, Blake is at it again. Amanda Blake that is.

What a great action shot.

The Lana Wood Cafe.

Well it is time to close up shop early and go into the city to see the Tree at Rockafeller center. Now a tree is made of wood and Meade is always bragging about his wood, so the best thing I can do is call up Natalies hotter sister and leave you in the Lana Wood cafe.

So to speak.

Ricpic knows the score!

ricpic said...
I've always suspected Kitty had somethin' goin' on with Doc. Little guys like Doc and me give much more satisfaction in the sack than hulks like the marshall.

(Here are Doc and Kitty riding out the ranch where she was going to pull the wagon....I mean the train.....oh you know what I mean)

It seems that the Law School had a really wild Christmas party this year!

It seems that the Law School had a really wild Christmas party this year! Everybody got tattoo's. Freaky.

Red heads are trouble!

Kitty Russell: Matt, you can't account for everything that happens to people who touch you. You know, I learned a long time ago, there are some things in this life that you just accept the way they are.
U.S. Marshal Matt Dillon: That's pretty deep for a redhead.
Kitty Russell: I'm a pretty deep redhead.
U.S. Marshal Matt Dillon: Good to know. Next time I will tie a plank across my ass so I won't fall in.
Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: I hear that's how they got John Wesley Hardin.
(Gunsmoke, Directors Cut 1955)

Hey stupid where's your yuppie demon spawn!

So it is about 60 degrees today in New York because the weather is freakin' crazy and I have the doors wide open hoping to attract some business. This toddler who is about two years old walks in off the street. No parent in sight. Walks all the way to the back of the store while my sales girl two customers and me all look at her in amazement. I go "Where's you mommy little girl" and she replies "goo-goo, gah-gah" cause that's all she knows. I go "You need to find your mommy" as she turns around and walks outside the store onto Court St.

I run from behind the counter as the kid gets on the sidewalk and up past the bodega is a father with a super stroller that costs about $1,000 with a perplexed look on his stupid fucking face calling her some stupid Yuppie name "Artesmia, Penelope where are you?"

I go "Hey douche bag here's your kid what's that matter with you?" "Oh thank you, thank you."
"You moron you had no idea where that kid was. She could walk into the street." I turned around and went back in the store shaking my head.

If I was half the man my father was I would have broken this guys arm so he would remember to hold onto his kids arm. But it's a New World these days ya know?

Let me try this!

Spock: Ms. Chapel.
Christine Chapel: Yes, Mr. Spock?
Spock: I had a most startling dream. You were trying to tell me something...but I couldn't hear you. [Chapel is crying] It would be illogical for us to protest against our natures, don't you think?Christine Chapel: Oh Mr. Spock. You need not protest. I can see that you have a problem. It is the time of Pom Farr and your tricorder is on the fritz.
Spock: Yes I am afraid I have Meade's disease. It is most troubling.
Christine Chapel: But that seems unlikely. I can tell by the bulge in your pants that your phasers are on stun.
Spock: Well the indicated treatment for Meade's disease is massive doses of Viagra. I had some bootleg Klingon Viagra and it seems that it is very effective. Come sit on my lap and I will show you how effective it is my dear Nurse Chapel.
Christine Chapel: Oh Mr. Spock, I thought you would never ask. I thought you would never mate with a human.
Spock: It is logical. Beaming off has lost it's appeal. Let's do this.
Christine Chapel: Oh Mr. Spock! I should call you Mr. Cock!
(Star Trek, The Original Series,The Directors Cut, Amok Time 1967)

Gratuitous bathtub picture of the day!

Whose is that starlet in the bathtub? Ann Bancroft? Anita Gilliete? Brett Somers? Audrey Hepburn? With those eyebrows Leonid Brezhnev?

I can't tell who it is, all I can say is that she is smokin'

The Jennifer Tilly Cafe.

Well it is time to close up the shop on the east coast and go out for dinner. So as is customary we will leave you. We will leave you in Jennifer Tilly.

So to Speak.

Why doesn't blake ever post about us?

He never talks about that three way we had in the Toys are Us bathroom in West Covina in 1997.

I guess he is just modest.

Let me try this!

Spock: Ms. Chapel.
Christine Chapel: Yes, Mr. Spock?
Spock: I had a most startling dream. You were trying to tell me something...but I couldn't hear you. [Chapel is crying] It would be illogical for us to protest against our natures, don't you think?
Christine Chapel: Oh Mr. Spock. You need not protest. I can see that you have a problem. It is the time of Pom Farr and your tricorder is on the fritz.
Spock: Yes I am afraid I have Meade's disease. It is most troubling.
Christine Chapel: Don't worry Mr. Spock. It can happen to anyone.
Spock: I know Ms. Chapel but it is most illogical. I must make this right for you. My honor demands it. Do you know that my people are vegetarians.
Christine Chapel: Yes I was aware of that. But how does that matter.
Spock: Well we are not vagetarians. In fact the fish taco is considered a delicacy on Vulcan.
Christine Chapel: Well I have never done that, but I will do anything for you Mr. Spock.
Spock: As the science officer I approve of that experiment.
(Star Trek, The Original Series,The Directors Cut, Amok Time 1967)

Nevermind that chickenlittle!

Nevermind that chickenlittle! Where's that nice Simon?

Whose your momma? Whose your Grandmomma bitch?

Hey big boy! Would you buy me and my friend a drink? Well I want a drink she will settle for some chicken feed. She's a cheap date. I'm just cheap.

Hen: And what brings you to England, Mr Rhodes?

Rocky: Why, all the beautiful English chicks, of course.

Chickenlittle: Hey pal get your own girls. This is my thread.

(Chicken Run, The X rated Directors Cut, 2000)

Hey how about it? A three way with these hot chicks or what?

Rocky: Easy, Pops. Cockfighting is illegal where I come from.

Chickenlittle: Hey I am a lover not a fighter. Hello girls!

(Chicken Run, The X rated Directors Cut, 2000)

Pogue mahone?

When we asked where was our buddy Garage Mahal we got a curious message from our ace commenter chickenlittle;

chickenlittle said...
Trooper: Garage told me to tell you: "Pogue Mahone"

Now why would he say that? I am pretty sure that they are separate people. But I could be wrong. I think it is because I have not given chickenlittle his own series of posts. So I will remedy that fort with.

We want to keep our commenters happy here at Trooper York.

In the ruins of Madison Wisconsin Stardate 2712.4,

Captain Kirk: There are many strange artifacts here Spock.
Mr. Spock: Indeed Captain.
Captain Kirk: What is this place.
Mr. Spock: It appears to have been the location of a universisty in the early twenty first century right before the clone wars.
Captain Kirk: I wonder what they were studying.
Mr. Spock: It seems that this the law school. Perhaps that is a symbol of the school.
Captain Kirk: No it seems to be privately owned. There is an inscription, "property of Professor Alt.. I guess this Professor Alt was an important personage.
Mr. Spock: Indeed.
(Star Trek,City on the Edge of Madison, Directors Cut, 1966)

You would think Garage Mahal would post where he would be appreciated? Just like a liberal don't ya think?

Poor Garage Mahal. Can't get a tag at Althouse. But here we have a series of garage mahal tags with sexy babes. And that's a nice butt. And the dude is still nowhere to be found.

You liberal types are so confused.

I mean we are more fun here, no if and or especially butts.

Whats with all this horny Star Trek Stuff?

Nona: There is an old custom among my people. When a woman saves a man's life, he is grateful.
Captain Kirk: And how does he express it.
Nona: Why with a little mombo. Get the Gorilla. Grease him up.
(Star Trek, The Directors Cut, A Private Little War 1967)

Let me try this.

Spock: Ms. Chapel.
Christine Chapel: Yes, Mr. Spock?
Spock: I had a most startling dream. You were trying to tell me something...but I couldn't hear you. [Chapel is crying] It would be illogical for us to protest against our natures, don't you think?
Christine Chapel: Oh Mr. Spock. You need not protest. I can see that you have a problem. It is the time of Pom Farr and your tricorder is on the fritz.
Spock: Yes I am afraid I have Meade's disease. It is most troubling.
Christine Chapel: Perhaps if I slap it with my pendulous breasts it might respond to the stimuli.
Spock: As the science officer I approve of that experiment.
(Star Trek, The Original Series,The Directors Cut, Amok Time 1967)

The Enemy inside Yeoman Rand.

Yeoman Rand: Captain Kirk, you called me to your quarters.
Evil Kirk: Yes Yeoman, I have some dictation for you. Some big dictation.
Yeoman Rand: Why couldn't I take it on the bridge.
Evil Kirk: I didn't know you had false teeth.
Yeoman Rand: I don't Captain. What a strange thing to say. Nothing I have is false.
Evil Kirk: I didn't think so Yeoman. Quickly take off your clothes.
Yeoman Rand: Oh Captain, I can't believe you mean that. You always seemed so distant. So professional. You just seemed to ignore me.
Evil Kirk: [to Yeoman Rand] You're too beautiful to ignore my dear. Now get naked while I prepare my photon torpedo.
(Star Trek The Original Series, Directors Cut, The Enemy Within Yeoman Rand, 1966)

Blake if you're gonna go Julie Newmar, you got to go the full Julie Newmar.

If you're gonna go Julie Newmar, you gots to go the full Julie Newmar. This is a shot before Catwoman. She was just a kitten then. Meeeoooowwww baby!!!!!!!!!!!