Trooper York: My question is the eternal one: Ginger or Mary Ann?

Monday, December 29, 2008

My question is the eternal one: Ginger or Mary Ann?

Check the poll, results later.

24 comments:

Zachary Sire said...: I always had a thing for Mr. Howell. It was probably the money.; December 29, 2008 at 5:10 PM
blake said...: Poll?

Mary Ann, of course. You know Ginger had "daddy issues".; December 29, 2008 at 5:12 PM
Darcy said...: Poll is on the sidebar, blake.

"Daddy issues" again? You teased me about this at Althouse!; December 29, 2008 at 5:18 PM
dbp said...: Mary Ann and Ginger were equally pretty, but Mary Ann acted like she was plain and that made her twice as hot.; December 29, 2008 at 6:51 PM
Meade said...: Blake, every girl has daddy issues. You know that. Even Mary Ann had daddy issues. The secret to solving daddy issues is, whenever there is a, let's call it a... flare up, you turn her over your knee.

Presto! daddy issue resolved and she gives you a Ginger look similar to Trooper's b&w above of Lu L -- I mean, Ginger.; December 29, 2008 at 7:43 PM
blake said...: And then cuts off your Johnson while you sleep.; December 29, 2008 at 7:59 PM
chickelit said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; December 29, 2008 at 8:23 PM
chickelit said...: red and corn-fed; December 29, 2008 at 8:24 PM
Meade said...: "And then cuts off your Johnson while you sleep."

Okay, that's a legitimate concern. I mean, it's not like it has never happened. And, sure, that probably does enter into the myriad reasons I always sleep standing up with my hat on.

But here's the thing: Gingers wear their daddy issues on the sleeves of their princess wannabe evening gowns. Right out there where you can deal directly.

It's the Mary Anns you really have to sleep with one eye open for. Just saying; December 30, 2008 at 12:14 AM
blake said...: So, what, you're saying don't trust any of 'em?; December 30, 2008 at 5:31 AM
Meade said...: No Blake, I'm not say that. I'm not saying that at all. Not trusting all women? No, that would be no way to live.

First off, you yourself have to be a trustworthy guy from the get go, what my Jewish friends call "a mensch" -- reliable... caring, and with enough of a moral spine to always do what is right even when no one notices. Always do what you say you are going to do (or else call ahead to explain that you will be ten minutes late). Never break a promise. Never lie (fibbing is something else entirely). Don't ever take a penny that does not belong to you.

Basic Good Guy 101 stuff.

And then you might be ready for the Gingers and (you hope) the Mary Anns of this cold cruel potentially castrative world. But remember what the fox told the little prince: "What is essential is invisible to the eye."

Therefore, heed the advice my kindly old Irish uncle, Paddy O'Brahma, gave me not long before departing for his final reward:

"Meade, m' lad," he said, "Trust. Always trust..."

"Trust, Uncle Paddy?" asked I, curious and concerned.

"Trust," Uncle Paddy said. "But always... always... always...

do a criminal background check."; December 30, 2008 at 7:29 AM
chickelit said...: Meade said: Never break a promise. Never lie (fibbing is something else entirely).

Words to live by, wise Meade.

but could you expand on the fibbing part?; December 30, 2008 at 10:10 AM
Meade said...: "...could you expand on the fibbing part?"

What kind of fool do you take me for, CL?

There are chicks around here watching.; December 30, 2008 at 10:20 AM
Darcy said...: I'd kinda like to hear about that fibbing stuff too, Meade. Just think of me as a little sister.; December 30, 2008 at 2:17 PM
blake said...: Got it. Don't trust any of 'em.; December 30, 2008 at 2:50 PM
Meade said...: Okay Darcy, if you're sure. But if you were my little sister, I'd probably tell you not to hang out in places like Trooper York. Too many weirdos.

But if you insist, and just so you know, this is your last chance to run along and go play with all your cute little girlfriends and not risk being corrupted by Blake and chicklit and guys like that.

Alright, here's an example of a lie:

I don't like girls.

And here's an example of a fib:

I'm hung like a horse.

See the difference? In the first example, someone's feelings could get hurt... like, say Zach's or Titus's, if they were to take that at face value and begin to imagine, "Hmm... maybe I have a chance with Meade." Do you see the potential there for heartache and unnecessary cruelty?

In the second example, I'm merely being inaccurate. I'm actually hung more like a bull.; December 30, 2008 at 2:54 PM
Darcy said...: Ok. I totally had that coming...I mean...I asked for that. No, wait...what I mean is...never mind!

LOL.; December 30, 2008 at 3:02 PM
Meade said...: Darcy, obviously, is an adorable little Ginger.; December 30, 2008 at 6:56 PM
Ruth Anne Adams said...: Darcy:
Any cheese ball report?

Meade: What of hog? To you, it's your Harley; to others, it's male genitalia.; December 30, 2008 at 8:15 PM
Darcy said...: Hi, Ruth Anne. Making it this weekend. My family will get together on Saturday. Will report!
I'm also taking it to work next week.; December 30, 2008 at 9:25 PM
Ruth Anne Adams said...: Darcy:
Sorry to be such a noodge. I'm on vacation and I have completely lost track of the days.; December 30, 2008 at 10:07 PM
Meade said...: Ruth Anne Adams said...
Meade: What of hog?

First, I just want to say, I'll have some of that vacation Ruth Anne is having. Please.

But to answer Ruth Anne's question, paraphrasing Tom Nuttall: "My [Harley] masters boardwalk and [blog]mire with aplomb. Those that doubt me... suck [hog] by choice."; December 31, 2008 at 7:58 AM
Darcy said...: Oh, Ruth Anne, of course you're not being a noodge! These special recipes are our "babies" sometimes. I totally get it! :); December 31, 2008 at 1:16 PM
Doc Icenogle said...: I would have done all three when I was a kid.; July 3, 2011 at 7:07 PM

Monday, December 29, 2008

My question is the eternal one: Ginger or Mary Ann?

24 comments:

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