Joe Biden eats meat on Fridays.
Joe Biden roots for six different football teams. Not one of them is Notre Dame.
Joe Biden thinks the Holy Ghost rides a motorcycle and wears a leather jacket.
Joe Biden thinks a venial sin is when you have a varicose vein.
Joe Biden thinks Limbo is the dance he does under a pole on vacation in St. Barts.
Joe Biden thinks Jesus was just Felipe and Matty’s younger brother.
Joe Biden thinks the Stations of the Cross are on the subway map between West 4th Street and East Broadway.
Joe Biden thinks the miraculous medal is what they give you when you win the Nobel Peace prize.
Joe Biden thinks Padre Pio is when Tony Gwynn takes a leak.
Joe Biden thinks Purgatory is a stool softener.
Joe Biden thinks transubstination is what you call the character that Felicity Huffman played in that crappy movie. He really dug her though.
Joe Biden thinks that Immaculate Conception played shortstop for the big Red Machine.
Joe Biden thinks the lives of the Saints is the autobiography of Tom Fears and Danny Abramowitz.
Joe Biden thinks Palm Sunday is when a lobbyist takes him out for steaks.
Joe Biden thinks apostasy is one of those little yellow papers you write notes on when you plagiarize something for one of your speeches.
Joe Biden thinks Beatitude is when you wear a beret and go on the road to spout gay poetry. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Joe Biden thinks a canticle is what you call Hillary’s ankle.
Joe Biden thinks a catechism is what you get when you give your tabby a happy ending.
Joe Biden thinks a Doxology is Sir Archie’s little black book of his favorite tavern wenches.
Joe Biden thinks Extreme Unction is a Mohegan who really likes to snow board off dangerous mountains.
Joe Biden thinks that the “Holy See” is what Robin yells out every time Batman shows him the bat pole.
Joe Biden thinks that Homily is a really homely eighteen century New England poet.
Joe Biden thinks that the Latin Rite is the drugstore in Washington Heights.
Joe Biden thinks that the Monstrance is the cellar door they opened in the Adams Family.
Joe Biden thinks a Theophany is the band the Huxtable kids started when they were in high school.
Joe Biden thinks Simony is the excessive worship of law professors who sometimes write about the law. Ok, every once in a while he is right.
Joe Biden thinks the Paschal Mystery is a detective novel from France.
Joe Biden thinks the font is what his dad used to do after he had beans.
Joe Biden heard that a fish was a symbol of being a real Catholic so he put a picture of Abe Vigoda on his car bumper.
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4 comments:
So...you're suggesting his Catholicism may not be entirely well researched?
I don't think it was properly vetted.
Troop - do you think Althouse views you as a threat to her fiefdom?
The professor has always been very nice to me. Although she never through me a link or a spot on the blog roll, but hey what are you gonna do.
I do what I do cause I want to do what I want to do. If that makes sense. Everything else has nothing to do with it.
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