(People Magazine, September 25, 2008)
The Caped Crusader known as the Batman has announced that he is a “Gay American” in a starling news conference today in Gotham City. The announcement shocked many observers although there were several commenter’s who did not express any surprise at the news.
Wonder Woman was one of the people who shrugged off the announcement. “I know at the Justice League meetings he would never check out my tits. Not like Superman, that pervert stared at me all the time like he had x-ray vision or something. And the Flash another sicko. You know they don’t call him the Flash just because he is fast. He really is a wienie wagger.”
Commissioner Gordon was disappointed at the news. “I had some hopes that a romance could develop between my daughter and the Batman, but he always seemed to be off fighting crimes with his teen aged side kick Robin. Oh well there is always Bruce Wayne.”
The Joker had no comment as he could only laugh helplessly during a phone call from People. He is currently dating a skinny teen actress and abusing prescription drugs so he could not comment as he is always high and weeping into a tequila bottle.
Catwoman was scornful of the announcement. “I knew he hated the pussy ….meow… ever since he taught that muscular teenage sidekick to slide down the bat pole he just never was interested.”
Batman noted that Clay Aiken had given him the courage to finally admit that he was a Gay American and he would have a bat-float in the next Gay Pride parade.
When reached for comment, Superman said “So Batman is gay. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Maybe I better give the Batgirl a call.”
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
Double plus good, Troop.
I always hated Robin. Robin. What kind of name is that anyway for a hero? Why not just call him Racheal?
Plus. the bare legged costume with green underpants. WTF? Just asking to be messed up.
And lastly, shoes with wings. Totally gay. But I think that's where they got the idea for this.
"Oh well there is always Bruce Wayne". LOL Trooper.
Interestingly enough, when I was growing up, Robin was pretty much gone. Between (I presume) the series and the gay innuendo, he got to be an impediment for the Bat's necessary rehabilitation.
He did show up as head of his own teen crime-fighting team, though, for a very brief period.
When I wasn't reading, at some point, they took away the green panties and gave him full pants, changed his costume to all red, and various other less, em, NAMBLA-friendly approaches.
Then, I think, they killed him and replaced him with Nightwing.
Frank Miller gave us a girl Robin--which actually worked pretty well.
Post a Comment