Dear Kris

Kris,

I am sorry I have not been in touch but I have been very busy. There have been a lot of demands on my time. Press. Motivational speaking. Photo shoots. Having my insides scooped out like a cantaloupe so I can have a road ready twat. I know I can never have as nice a twat as you. Or even be as big a twat as you. I think you are the twatiest twat that ever twated. In fact you have been instrumental in my transition. I figured if you can't beat em you might as well join em.

I have decided to continue my transition so as the maximize my earning potential. I have signed a contract to recreate many famous photographs for Vanity Fair. Marilyn Monroe on a subway grate. The nurse kissing the sailor in Times Square after VE day. Elizabeth Taylor as Cleopatra being carried into Thebes. And my favorite. The Iwo Jima photo. Only it is bunch of soldiers implanting their flagpole in my special spot. And of course the most famous of all.

Our Kim's shot that was heard around the world. Now everyone associates around the world with Kim. Especially with a black guy because of her sex tape. But her latest photo has proven to have gone viral. And not the virus that Khole is passing around the NBA. Viral. You know what everyone is talking about.

I hope you like it. I feel I look pretty. I love to look pretty. Now is my time.

Please don't be jealous.

I will be coming by next week to pick up my toy helicopter. I need a new hobby since I can't jerk off anymore.

With hugs and butterfly kisses,
Bruce now Caitlyn Jenner.