Saturday, June 25, 2011

Whose that Dick?


Better yet. Whose that Robot?
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9 comments:

TTBurnett said...

Klaatu barada nikto.

June 25, 2011 at 8:25 PM
TTBurnett said...

Wow! I just had a dream where it was revealed MamaM is a space alien. Honestly. I am not kidding.

I woke up worried for poor Trooper, who, last I saw, had been abducted aboard her flying saucer. I got zapped, but was relieved that the only aftereffect was some missing time.

And the robot wasn't at all formidable like Gort. "Klaatu barada nikto" obviously being something too silly to say, I tried, "Go tend the pachysandra!"
Worked like a charm. He dutifully trudged off, having obviously been programmed to accept similar direction on his home planet.

L'esprit d'escalier has also made me think I should have written, "Klaatu barada Nixon" in the last comment. But that, too, was probably something too silly. Plus, had it been said at the time of the photo, it might have enraged Gort, being the intolerant, humorless sort he was, and not at all fond of puns.

June 27, 2011 at 1:47 AM
MamaM said...

MamaM recently ordered a ruthless round up of her own weedy pachysandra patch and zapped it to death for 15 years of under performance.

As an alien, she is good humored, fond of puns and tolerant to a point.

However, she finds creative musical sorts who insist on playing off key and repeatedly hitting the same wrong note over and over to be as dull and tedious as underperforming pachysandra.

June 27, 2011 at 12:19 PM
TTBurnett said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
June 28, 2011 at 11:12 PM
TTBurnett said...

All I can say is you have an accurate account of a real dream I had the other night. Like Tartini with his Devil's Trill, I jumped from my bed to write it down before I forgot it. Whether my dream was demonically-inspired, reflective of MamaM's actual status, or simply a subconscious emanation, I can't say. But, as a UFO skeptic, it did gave me pause. (Here's a version of Tartini's dream more suitable for those squeamish of being thought musical snobs.)

Also like Tartini, I have to admit I was unable to reconstruct the vision entirely. Certain points were left off, too, for brevity's sake. For instance, toward the end of the dream I watched from the shore while MamaM's flying saucer teetered and dipped into a body of water that resembled Lake Mendota, but which was open somehow to the ocean. Bursts of tracer-like rays sprayed into the evening sky from its central dome. My wife says that image is too trite and stereotypical, which is why I didn't previously mention it.

In my dream, I recall wondering if the saucer was out of control or simply aiming to submerge in order to hide. I had a strong impression, though, of desperate maneuvering. One of its rays eventually hit and stunned me. When I recovered, I was again standing on the shore, but it was a pleasant day with sunshine and singing birds. I felt completely refreshed and relaxed. Several months had passed, however, the intervening time having somehow vanished. It's said that such aftereffects are relatively common in alien encounters.

Now, I am the first to grant none of this is original, except as it may apply to those here on Trooper's blog. I confess, though, to a little pride of originality in having thought of pachysandra as a way to be rid of the robot.

As to musical dissonance, it's a sad truth that, owing to a longstanding and general lack of cultivation, people tend to regard anything but musical pap as discordant, out-of-tune, etc. Such complaints have been around for centuries. Clever composers have sometimes made popular objections serve, however, a purpose unintended by the philistines who lodge them.

Such a one was Stravinsky, who, as a self-promoting egoist, realized that controversy could only help his career. In one of the most famous episodes in music history, a riot broke out at the 1913 Paris premier of his ballet, Le sacre du printemps. It's been rumored that Stravinsky himself had a hand in organizing the disturbances.

As the music began to build with unfamiliar, repetitive, crashing dissonance, the audience erupted. Catcalls and boos were everywhere. A woman fainted, and someone called, "Un docteur!" Another cried, "Deux docteurs!" Then from the balcony, "Un dentiste!" Soon, "Deux dentistes!" Several potted palms having been upended, another shouted, "Un jardinier!"

And so it went. A droll riot as only the French can do, unlike the recent overlong and dreary contretemps in Madison. But I'm sure MamaM will appreciate all that went into the 1913 original, even if she has no ear for difficult music.

Around the same time as Stravinsky's riot, another advanced composer— this time American, one Charles Ives—stood up at a concert of his music, and addressing an audience member who was complaining of the dissonance, told him to "take it like a man!"

Outworn as this expression may be, I think it is still good advice for MamaM, who, in the best modern manner, seems to pride herself on expecting the same standards of treatment for everyone without regard to sex, age, or condition.

June 28, 2011 at 11:33 PM
MamaM said...

I got zapped, but was relieved that the only aftereffect was some missing time.

Might be a good idea to check for a stick or corn cob where it doesn't belong. Orifice invasion is said to be common practice in these types of encounters.

A worrisome possibility to consider, especially so when phrases like "Un docteur"!,"Deux docteurs!", "Un dentiste!","Deux dentistes!"and "take it like a man" start coming up.

June 29, 2011 at 1:27 AM
TTBurnett said...

Seeing as it was YOUR spaceship, what does that say?? I didn't know you were into pegging. Did you get tips from Palladian? All I can say is I'm glad I was unconscious.

And do not, Mama, count on asymmetry when the paradigm is equality. As the old song goes, "We've only just begun..."

June 29, 2011 at 2:14 AM
MamaM said...

Seeing as it was YOUR spaceship...

In YOUR dreams!

June 29, 2011 at 3:15 AM
TTBurnett said...

Ah, but WAS it a dream? That was my question.

Tartini was convinced he may have been visited by the Devil—that it was something more than an ordinary dream—and my possible close encounter with you as an alien had the same quality. Of course, I never actually saw you. I was only told by your robot that you were piloting the increasingly out-of-control saucer.

But your knowledge of perverse extraterrestrial practices is now really starting to worry me.

June 29, 2011 at 7:17 AM

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