F Troop Reporting for Duty 7

I always felt bad about Corporal Agarn. He tried so hard. He would scream and yell and get his spittle over everyone. He wanted everyone to do things his way. To believe what he believed. He couldn’t stand to see anyone else have a different opinion. He would hit them over the head with his opinion like he used to do with his hat. He just couldn’t understand why no one cared what he thought. It was just everyone agreed after meeting him for five minutes. He was just a moron. I hear he is holed up in San Diego in his 92 year old mother’s basement posting comments on the internet while eating Cheeto’s and peeing in his Depends.
(Seaman Jacobs, Ed James, and Jim Barnett, The E True Hollywood Story of F Troop)