The Penis Monologues (A Shortened Story) by Michael H

Luci turned out to be Luci Baines Johnson, the youngest daughter of President Lyndon Johnson and Mrs. Lady Bird Johnson.

She was just eighteen, and was already engaged to be married the next year.

Luci was a bit chubby, fashionable for young women in 1965. She was also lonely, very lonely. The confines of the White House had kept her from living the life of a normal teen-ager. Her Episcopalian parents had raised her to be a “proper” Texas woman. They had also cloistered her in a stifling environment where contact with people her age was carefully controlled, even manipulated. Her chance for a normal date was exactly nil.

I had been in Viet Nam for twelve months. Before that, I was in Officer Candidate School, before that Advanced Individual Training, and before that Basic Training. I had seen women, alright, especially in Nam, but the opportunities for safe contact were exactly none. It was far too dangerous; there were too many spies, too much disease. It had taken a strong will, but I had remained master of my own domain.

On August 23, 1965, Luci grabbed my and pulled me along, down the stairs, into the private basement beneath the White House. We ran to the old area where years later Richard Nixon had a bowling alley installed.

She hugged me, tight at first, then even tighter until it felt like her nipples were thumbtacks pressed against the corkboard of my chest. We were breathing hard, clawing, clothes coming off, faster, faster, both wanting to get……….dogs were barking.

Not dogs, a dog. And not barking but baying as the lights went to full bright. I wasn’t a Fullbright Scholar, but I knew that full bright was bad because the hands I could account for were in places where there weren’t light switches.

“Luci! Loooci!? Y’all down here with that Army boy? Where y’all at now? Mama tol’ me to fetch y’all for supper and that’s………DAMN, SON, whatcha doin’ with muh dotter? Get back Lieutenant or this here beagle’ll tear that third leg right off’n ya before y’all can say fuck Gerry Ford…

”TO BE CONTINUED