Remembrance of Thngs Pabst.

Michael H reminded me of a story I wanted to tell you.

We had to have a dinner business meeting with a well know person. So we decided to have it in our little wine and cheese joint here on Court St. Now I have talked about it before and the problems that you have with the "regulars." Or in particular, one regular, "Special Ed."

You see he is this little elfin gay guy like the dude who was the main rival of Karen in Will and Grace. He has a Southern accent and is annoyingly gay. Not because he is gay, but because that is all he wants to talk about. I mean it is just as annoying when you have to listen to some dude who thinks he is Rico Suave and a lady killer. If you are such a ladies man, why aren't you out romancing some broad. And if you are such a gay guy, go suck a dick and leave the rest of us alone already, we are just here for some wine and cheese, not the fucking floor show.

Anyway this dude always attacks a new customer when they come in. He tries to strike up a conversation and is just annoying and overbearing. I always send people from the store there and several of them come in to complain about him. I sent this one couple that he didn't stop bothering the whole time they were there. He kept yapping at them and yapping at them to the point that after they paid the check he followed them outside to keep talking at the bus stop. Now the guy in this couple was English so I thought he would know how to handle this guy, I mean he had enough experience as a bar guy to know what to do. But I guess his wife made him not be rude. But you have to be rude.

So we walk into the joint and Special Ed starts right in talking to our quest. She goes "What...er what are you talking about" and the wife grabs her and takes her to the back. "Don't look in his eyes" she says "He's like an animal, he can sense weakness." I was bringing up the rear and I walked up to him and put my hands around his neck (in a nice way, sorta) and said "Ed I have a business meeting going on so I would appreciate it if you would pay attention to your drink and cut the crap." Which he did and was quiet the rest of the night. At least as far as we were concerned.

Now we saw him again last week and I was nice to him as I am to everybody. I asked how his cat was since that is the thing that he is most fond of in all the world. And he gave me chapter and verse on it which is OK because it was a quiet Tuesday night and real relaxed and low key. He got up and went to his apartment and got us a piece of banana bread that he had baked that day and that he wanted to give us some for our breakfast. I did have to ask him "Ed these were real banana's right, that's not a euphemism right?" But they were. I think the homeless guy I gave it to on the way home enjoyed it. It was certainly a nice gesture.

Oh the kicker was that when Ed heard that it was an important business meeting, he was confused. He turned to the owner and said "If it is so important why did they come here?"

She hit him on the head with a provolone.