At the Club

The Latin Quarter 2am at the Club.

Jorge Posada: Hey Jetes look there’s Plaxico and Pierce. Let’s roll up and say hello. (Derek Jeter, Jorge Posada and Joba Chamberlain walk across the club to say hello)
Derek Jeter: Hey the World Champs are in the house. What’s up player (Fist bumps all around. Derek notices an unsightly bulge in Plaxico’s sweats) Hey Plax I don’t want you to think I am Mike Piazza or anything but what’s up with your sweats.
Plaxico Burress: I’m packing.
Antonio Pierce: Yeah me too. Twelve inches bitch.
Plaxico Burress: Nah man, I got my gat. Anthony got jacked last week….ain’t no fool gonna do me like that.
Jorge Posada: Don’t you have a holster for that shit man. You can blow your fuckin Johnson off jefe.
Antonio Pierce; Yeah Plax I wouldn’t have room in my pants for two big guns ya know what I’m saying.
Joba Chamberlain: Look Mr. Jeter. Isn’t that Sean Avery the hockey player coming this way?
Jorge Posada: Oh shit, didn’t he dog you man on the radio, about your clothes and how he gets more culo then you.
Derek Jeter: Guys, com’on. He’s a fucking hockey player.
Sean Avery: Hey hosers. Or should I say losers. What are you doing around here Jeter? Looking to get my sloppy seconds.
Jorge Posada: You gots to be kidding jefe. Jeter gets more pussy than a port-a- pottie at the Lillith fair.
Derek Jeter: That’s ok, it’s not a competition. You know you make yourself look bad when you say stuff like that.
Sean Avery: Yeah right. I bet I can get any bitch in this club tonight over you pal.
Derek Jeter: Sure whatever you say there pal. Hey you know what you get when you have thirty two hockey players in a room.
Joba Camberlain: Ooh, ooh I know Mr. Jeter. A full set of teeth.
Derek Jeter: Right in one Joba. Hey you see that girl over at the bar. What’s her name?
Sean Avery: That’s Lindsey Lohan. Let’s call her over. I bet you ten grand I can do her in the bathroom.
Derek Jeter: Go ask her to join us Joba. Oh and the guy standing next to her with the funny hat and the records. (Joba goes over to Lindsey Lohan and whispers to her. She smiles and walks over to the group. She is wearing a skin tight dress and has some white powder on her upper lip)
Lindsey Lohan: Hi guys. Hey Derek long time no see. (She gives Derek a kiss on the lips. And smiles brightly)
Derek Jeter: Hey let me introduce to some friends of mine. These are my boys Jorge and Joba. And a couple of the World Champion New York Giants, Plaxico and Antonio. Oh and this is Ron Duguay.
Sean Avery: Yeah right, you know me baby, I met you at the Vogue shoot. It’s me Sean.
Lindsey Lohan: Oh yeah right. Weren’t you the one hitting on all the models? Gross. Anyway I like the colored fellas. (She leans over and kisses Plaxico on the mouth, rubbing her huge chest on him and slipping him the tongue. Plaxico can’t help it as she is rubbing all of that nubile flesh against him he starts to respond. But a terrible thing happens as his erect penis pushes through the trigger guard of his Glock but he doesn’t notice)
Antonio Pierce: Hey I need some of that sugar baby. (He shoulders in and bumps Plaxico out of the way. Plaxico stumbles and then straightens up. He goes to fix the gun in his sweats. But his cock is stuck in his Glock. A shot rings out)
Joba Chamberlain: Oh my God! Somebody killed Plaxico!