An except from "Taken for Granted" by Leslyn Amthor Spinelli

I have become totally frustrated with Kate. She lied to me. I hate it when people lie. Especially people close to me.

I remember when my husband told me he was a vegetarian. Then I caught him eating a sausage and pepper hero in the garage. I didn't care that he liked to eat meat. But why lie?

There was no reason to stay in the office on such a beautiful day so I took my sandwich to the plaza outside to eat in the sun. I sat down and opened my egg salad sandwich when I noticed a commotion in the plaza. That Travelocity Gnome chick was standing on a soapbox and shouting at passersby. I could barely understand her wine soaked babbling.'

"Look at me. LOOK AT ME! I am a major intellect. I want you to beg me to write a book. I am a much better writer than that loser JD Salinger. He is only famous for not having sex. Well I haven't had conventional sex in twenty years. And that asshole Elmore Leonard with his best sellers and million dollar screenplays. I want one hundred of you to sign my petition and I will write the great American novel. Just go up to Larry and sign up. We only need your name, address and PIN number.  Wait stop walking by. Stop eating. What's the matter with you! LOOOOKKKKK AAATTTT MEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I just couldn't stand it any longer. It was bad enough when my husband played his Mario Lanza albums but this was too much. As I was leaving I went up to the Madison Police office assigned to the Plaza.

"Excuse me officer. But that yelling and soliciting in the public square is a little unsettling. Can you tell her to tone it down." "No can do lady" he said. "She is a liberal and this is Madison and she can do what ever she wants. So why don't you just move along before I give you a ticket."

Sometimes I think we should just move to North Dakota.