Stupid Moose and Squirrel will die!

There were many problems on the Bullwinkle show. There was the problem of Rocky the Flying Squirrel's satyriasis. He banged anything that moved. He had affairs with every cartoon character in Toon Town. His bouts with Betty Boop were legendary. That is why she sounded so funny. It was because of all the rabid squirrel come she had swallowed.

Then there was Bullwinkle's homosexuality. He had many beards through the years. I mean he went on a date with Natalie Wood for crying out loud. But then so did James Dean and he was a big old homo. Bullwinkle always had a young protégé in his entourage that he was banging in his trailer between takes. Many a young actor in the early sixties passed through his clutches as they worked as his "assistant." Robert Redford. Sal Mineo.  Jack Klugman. Dennis Hopper. Even Jack Nicholson when he was down and out. They were a constant problem on the set with their drug use and wild sexual antics.

But none of the problems we had compared to the trouble we had with Natasha Fatale. The rumor was that Natasha was a lesbian. This was because she was molested as a child by her father Klaus in their native Germany. You see Natasha was German even though she played a Russian on the show. Well actually an Austrian but then so was Hitler who was a good friend with her father. Natasha was always drooling on the female guest stars and trying to get something going with them. The fact that she pretended she was gay meant that most of the men on the show left her alone. However she wasn't really a dyke. She was a really a bi-sexual who was really into bondage. She loved to try people up and beat them and twist their nipples until they screamed for help. She had this kinky friend named Inga who had escaped from Austria with her and they liked to recreate the torture that their fathers had performed on the Jews in the camps. They were pure evil. Once Natasha tied up Bullwinkle and put him a boiling vat of water. Luckily Bullwinkle was a nimble pervert and had been in that spot before and was able to free himself before he became moose soup. He was scared. But he loved it. He just tweaked her nipples until they bled and slapped her around. Natasha was in love.

There was never a dull moment on the Rocky and Bullwinkle show.
(Jay Ward and Alex Anderson, Rocky and Bullwinkle, E True Hollywood Story)