In search of a way to cure our insomnia last night we watched a double feature of Airport and Airport 1975 last night. It was craptastic.
Airport stars Burt Lancaster and Dean Martin and Helen Hayes and Jean freakin' Seberg before she became a communist. With a incredibly young Jacqueline Bisset as the sexy stewardess who Dino knocks up. Van Heflin brings a bomb on the plane to blow it up so his wife Maureen Stapleton can get the insurance. They find out about it and Dean tries to stop him but he goes in the bathroom and blows himself up. But the plot is meaningless when you see all the other stuff going on. First Van Heflin is chain smoking in his seat. Helen Hayes plays a woman who is a stowaway who sneaks on to flights that she doesn't have a ticket. How do you think either of those things will work out today? There were nuns wearing a full habit and soldiers on the way back to Vietnam. It was far out and out-a-site man!
Then there was Airport 1975 with Charlton Heston and George Kennedy and Karen Black with the damaged plane that they have to lower Chuck into the cockpit from a helicopter. The low rent special effects are hilarious. But the best part was the clothes. We were watching it in disbelief. I mean the clothes! Jeeez.
So to sum it up, there were three things you will never see again on an airplane in these movies. A man chain smoking like a fiend. A stowaway who gets on the plane without a ticket. And Charlton Heston's bright yellow turtleneck.
I think that was why we couldn't fall asleep.
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And those are the best two movies in the series, by a longshot.
It's one of the reasons Airplane! worked so well, too. The frenetic pace wasn't far off one of those Airport flicks.
You know, you think those '70s disaster movies are crap, line up Airport, Earthquake, Poseidon Adventure and Towering Inferno against Daylight, Dante's Peak, Poseidon and Independence Day. (And my cousin produced the Poseidon remake.)
The '70s ones are a lot more fun.
Both are going on my netfix queue.
But the plot is meaningless when you see all the other stuff going on. First Van Heflin is chain smoking in his seat. Helen Hayes plays a woman who is a stowaway who sneaks on to flights that she doesn't have a ticket. How do you think either of those things will work out today?
I have the feeling a lot of the time when I watch old cop/PI shows. About half the sotry lines would have been neutered if the characters had modern cell phones.
Tubbs: [Hits the speed dial on his phone, waits for Crockett to pick up.] Hey Sonny, it's Rico. Don't go home. Turns out the guy we thought was the assasin was just a contact.
Crockett: Thanks Rico.
Tubbs: We think the assasin is waiting back at your house. We're sending in the SWAT team to take him out.
Now cars tearing ass through Miami or nothing. How boring.
OTOH, Burn Notice has shown how much fun cell phones can be....
Jacqueline Bisset . Is this the first link ever on the Trooper York blog? If it is, congratulations, York.
I like links. Especially Jacqueline Bisset links.
Yes the first link and I did it totally by accident. I have to figure this computer shit out.
By the way, if you watch Airport 1975 the impossibly hot blonde stewardess who is about 18 is Cagney from Cagney and Lacy before she decided to become a lesbian.
And Ponch from Chips is a passenger too!
Holy guest stars Batman!!!!!!!
Not to say that 19 year lesbians can't be hot. I don't want to get Beth mad at me.
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