A reprise of some posts from April 2008 about the "Tigger of Narcissus."

Winnie the Pooh enjoyed his life. He went through in a happy daze, always stopping to smell a flower or follow a butterfly down a garden path. But life can be cruel and it really changed after the internet came into his life. Pooh loved to post whimsical sayings and loved to describe the simple vignettes that had brought his life such meaning. But he was constantly harangued by his commenters especially about his friendship with Foghorn J. Leghorn who was the mayor of cartoon town during the fifties and who was a strong defender of segregation. Pooh remained loyal to his friend because he didn’t think what he had done years ago had any relevance in the here and now. And the criticism was moot since Pooh was beaten to death by Mortimer Brezny for calling a tiger of his acquaintance Tigger. It’s funny how life works out sometimes.
(The Tao of Pooh, Benjamin Hoff)

Tigger had a hard life. After his father abandoned the family, his mother dropped him off with his grandmother Kanga so she could marry Speed Racer’s father and move to Japan. Tigger had to live in the forest and was forced to adapt to an alien culture. He was always really a jungle cat. Even so he thrived as he found many mentors who helped him along in life. Everyone reached out to help him along because they knew he would go far some day. He was sure to be elected King of the Jungle.
(The Tigger of the Narcissus, Joe Conrad Klein)

When Tigger went to school, he adopted a new identity. He didn’t want to be a cartoon Tiger, he wanted to be the real thing. So he went to meetings with radical groups and experimented with Feline centric ideology. And he joined a new church which had a very charismatic minister. Tony the Tiger. Tony hated all the other cats in the jungle. He thought they were keeping the tigers down. And that they had infected them with fur balls so they couldn’t make speeches to get one of them to be elected king of the jungle. Those pasty skinned lions had been on top for too long. Tony knew that only bigotry and prejudice could have kept his people down so long. He and his congregation just repeated their catchphrase about tigers: “Their Grrreeaaat!”
(The Tigger of the Narcissus, Joe Conrad Klein)

Now the time has finally arrived for Tigger to run for king of the jungle. His only competition was Penelope who was a very ordinary pussycat who was only popular because of her husband Pepe Le Pew. And he wasn’t even a cat, he was a skunk. His sexual misadventures were infamous, but he still was very popular in the jungle. Tigger had a lot of energy and he knew if he just offered change he could get a lot of votes especially from the young people. I mean why would they vote for his two rivals. An ordinary pussycat who never did anything in her life but cling to her husbands skunktail or the other party’s nominee, the octogenarian Old Deuteronomy who was only famous for being tortured by Marlon Perkins during the fourth season of Wild Kingdom. The election was his to lose.
(The Tigger of the Narcissus, Joe Conrad Klein)

It was a shame that poor Tigger became King of the Jungle and had such a horrible reign. He claimed that he could do so many things that he couldn’t do. He claimed that he could jump higher than a kangaroo but he could barely get off the ground. And he couldn’t even bowl. So he actually would have been better off if he had lost the race to Old Deuteronomy. The jungle had to wait another twenty years until a tiger was elected king of the jungle. The whole jungle rejoiced because everyone loved Tiger Woods. The end.
(The Tigger of the Narcissus, Joe Conrad Klein)