Reading history during the historic first meeting of President Bush and President Elect Obama

It is the consensus of most historians that Andrew Jackson had the hardest Presidency in the history of the United States. President Jackson was well known as extremely virile heterosexual and surrounded himself with a cabinet of noted swordsman. His secretary of War John H Eaton had a memorable affair where he seduced the most beautiful woman in Washington who was married to another man. Eaton was famous for the length and girth of his erection and this was the reason he was able to win the lovely Peggy. Jackson’s first Vice President John C. Calhoun was known far as wide as being a complete dick. But the hardest person in the administration was in fact President Jackson who had the nickname of Old Hickory which was a corruption of his Cherokee name of Old Hickory Dick due to the swath he cut among the virgin tribal woman during his many campaigns in the frontier. He would often pound nails with his penis at his estate in the Hermitage to intimidate his political opponents.
(The Long and the Short of It, Presidential Penises by Doris Kearns Goodwin, St. Martins Press).

The most limber presidential penis of course belonged to Richard Milhous “Tricky Dick” Nixon who was famous for the shapes he could manipulate his penis into on the Washington “cocktail” circuit. He would twist and turn his penis to create various shapes including a duck, the Lincoln Memorial and his little dog Checkers. His quick and tricky dick was much in evidence in his rise from back bench congressman to senator to vice president. In fact it is rumored that the reason why General Eisenhower choose him as his vice president is because of his puppetry of the penis. Eisenhower said “He may be a dick, but he is one funny dick.”
(The Long and the Short of It, Presidential Penises by Doris Kearns Goodwin, St. Martins Press).

The physical attributes of America’s first ladies have often been the subject of speculation and innuendo especially in the hands of political opponents of our chief executives. It is commonly agreed that Dolly Madison had the largest breasts of any first lady and that Helen Taft had the largest buttocks as she was well matched with her husband William Howard Taft. Lucretia Garfield was of course greatly renowned for her vestigial vagina that was the subject of songs and stories during James Garfield’s presidency.

A little know fact was that the wife of Warren G Harding did in fact have a wooden leg that was the result of a sexual affair that had gone awry. Florence Kling was the divorced daughter of Harding’s hated rival who “vigorously pursued” the Ohio newspaperman with series of depraved sexual escapades that led to their marriage. Florence Harding was the driving force in the popular ladies man political career and they delighted in having sex in strange and unusual places. Harding delighted in having sex with her supine on his desk in the editor’s office where he would unscrew his wife’s leg and use her other leg as a rudder to turn her around and around to have access to various orifices. The lies and excuses that they created to cover up their activities from their inquisitive reporters led to the practice of “spinning” that has endured to this very day.
(The Long and the Short of It, Presidential Penises by Doris Kearns Goodwin, St. Martins Press).