Friday, November 21, 2008

Bad Santa?

Here is one the worst idea's I have heard in a long time. The Court St Merchants want me to play Santa Claus in the tree lighting ceremony in Carroll Park. A stupider idea I have never ever heard. I mean first of all I really hate kids. Especially yuppie brat kids. Snot nosed whiny crying yuppie kids.

"You want to cry...you really want to cry...I'll give you something to cry about you little bastard."

"Allright you little bastard, what do you want for Christmas? How about a slap."

"Ho Ho Ho. Why don't you fucking ho's go buy something in my store before I have to get up...and ...and.."

So now I have to grow a three day stubble and get a pint bottle of Four Roses Whiskey to have in my pocket just like the Santa used to do in A&S on Fulton St when I was a kid.

They want a bad Santa, I'll give em a fuckin bad Santa.
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11 comments:

blake said...

d00d!

That's not the Yule Tide Spirit!

November 21, 2008 at 8:16 PM
Trooper York said...

I love the little Baby Jesus but I hate Christmas.

November 21, 2008 at 8:36 PM
I'm Full of Soup said...

No one as jolly as you can truly hate Christmas??!

November 21, 2008 at 8:47 PM
Trooper York said...

I like the religious part of the holiday. I like to go to midnight mass and to have dinner with the whole family. But I hate gift giving and the kids fighting over presents and all the crap that goes with that.

It sucks when you go to mass and see people who went to catholic school with you who only show up twice a year, Christmas and Easter. It just pisses me off.

November 21, 2008 at 8:56 PM
Trooper York said...

When I see them talking during the Mass and then going up to communion when they haven't been in Church all year, I just want to walk up behind and grab them by the neck and hold their head under the holy water in the baptismal font while they thrash and wave their arms and kick their feet.

But that’s just me.

Happy Holidays.

November 21, 2008 at 8:59 PM
blake said...

I love a good mass, and I'm not even Catholic.

Though I wish they'd do it in Latin.

November 21, 2008 at 9:07 PM
An Edjamikated Redneck said...

Trooper, as usual, I agree. I have no idea how you can cope with NYC with your attitudes. When do you plan on retiring to somewhere more in line with temprement, or at least move upstate?

I love the family and religious part of the holiday, but not the over commercialization.

I have seperated my holiday into Christmas and Xmas; I celebrate the former more than the latter.

And blake; I went to Midnight Mass (at Midnight, of all times) last year in Latin. The modern Mass is a Protestant Service by comparison.

November 22, 2008 at 8:00 AM
Trooper York said...

Hey I can't let them chase me out of Brooklyn. This my home. I am the last of the Mohicans. I have to remain while a breath remains in me to fight against the yuppies and the liberals and the douche bags who want to turn Carroll Gardens into the Upper West Side.

November 22, 2008 at 11:29 AM
I'm Full of Soup said...

I bet Trooper will never leave the city. It is part of his DNA now.

November 22, 2008 at 2:51 PM
Trooper York said...

True AJ. I would even live in Philly instead of the suburbs or the country. I mean if I moved to the rural part of New York State I would lose my mind and the next thing you know I would be shopping for a Hockey Mask and a chain saw.

November 22, 2008 at 3:07 PM
blake said...

I've always felt that way about L.A.--well, about my suburb of L.A.--but they're doing their damnedest to drive me out.

November 22, 2008 at 4:50 PM

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