I had a friend of mine come over to stretch my carpet which started to have a bunch of bumps in the middle of the floor. We are hosting Christmas this year so we are trying to spruce up the apartment which is a lot of work. So when he stretched the carpet he cut off about five or six inches of exta carpet that the original idiots put in when they installed it. They were from Lowes and they sucked. Now I just have to have it cleaned just in time for all the kids to spill a full plate of ravioli on it. Happy Holidays.
Fuck.
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Well the title of the post had me intrigued cause I thought I'd pick up some new insight but alas, it was all about real carpeting.
As a self proclaimed Grand Master of the fine art of providing oral pleasure to the weaker sex, lets just say, one must develop muscles in the tongue that you never knew you had. It's almost like swimming, looks easy until you start plowing your way through the waves.
Let me tell you kids, nothing will turn a hottie off more you acting like it's a free for all at the slurpy machine. Ya gotta come at em sideways and work your way in. Ya have to know the boundies though, one slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit. Literally.
You act like it's the Old Country Buffet and you get no joy. It's an appetizer, not the main course. Slow and steady wins the race.
Thus endeth the lesson. As you were.
By the by, I love ravioli.
God bless the dagos otherwise there wouldn't be decent food.
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