The Case of the Solicitor's Suitor.

My dear Holmes,

It is your most humble petitioner, Inspector Lestrade. As you know it has been several years since I have last requested your assistance in the troubling matter of the disappearance of Lord Douchebag and over a year since we examined the obscene affairs of the odious Lady Chatterley and her grass stained lover. Today I must ask for assistance in an entirely different matter.

It seems that one of most astute detectives has gone over the moon and lost all of his professional perspective. You will remember Inspector Bradstreet who so ably assisted your inquires in the matter of the Blue Carbuncle last Yuletide past. It seems that the inimitable Bradstreet has become enamored with the discourse of a lowly penny dreadful publisher who is amazingly enough a solicitor! Inspector Bradstreet sends over notes and telegrams and posts every few minutes. He comments on the musings of every other person who contacts this somewhat pusillanimous prevaricator to the point of obsession that is most unseemly to a Detective of his stature of Scotland Yard. Inspector Bradstreet constantly touts the musings of this discourse and seeks converts and followers with the zeal of the most fanatic Spanish evangelist. He even attempted to proselytize Inspector Gregson who as you might remember has fallen into a dreamlike revere as he contemplates his own bowel movements and small rather ugly spaniels.

I must confess that this state of affairs has dumbfounded me as I had always considered Inspector Bradstreet as an estimable personage and fount of good common sense wisdom. Since you had worked closely with him I beg your indulgence and ask for your assistance. Would it possible for you to talk to Inspector Bradstreet to remind him that all solicitors are at base corrupt and debased and not to be trusted in the realm of social intercourse. He has seemed to have lost all perspective and acts like a follower of that noted fop and socialist Wilde. I only prey that he has not adopted any of his more outré practices that might come to the attention of the upper echelon of the yard.

Please give my best to your brother Mycroft who I recall has moved to countryside of Yorkshire to work on his art. I hope he was not offended that I returned his etching of the naked Greek boys frolicking in a banana grove but I am afraid that it was not to my taste and did indeed scandalize my wife. Please assure him that I do appreciate his talent and if ever he assays a depiction of beagles playing whist on black velvet I would most assuredly place it in a place of honor above my familial hearth.

I remain as always,
Your obedient servant,
Inspector G. Lestrade
November 12, 1898