Laura Bush's Diary

Laura Bush’ Diary January 27, 2009

I woke up this morning to hear W cursing and muttering which is very unusual for him because ever since he was born again he has been very straight laced. I got to find him in front of the computer. W has gotten into reading the blog’s and I think it might be a bad thing. They seem to get him all agitated.

I asked him what was the matter and he told me he had read where Robert Reich that midget guy said that Obama had to make sure that the money from the stimulus package would not go to “white construction workers.” W got really upset because he hates it when people use quota’s, it is one of his pet peeves. So I had to calm him down and remind him about what Hillary had told me about him.

I took out this picture of the Clinton cabinet. You see Bill was such a sexual voyeur that he was extremely jaded and constantly tried to find more outré sexual combinations. So he decided to recreate the cast of Todd Browning's movie “Freaks” in his Cabinet for wild sexual orgies in Camp David and during Renaissance weekend. Donna Shala was the bearded lady. Vince Foster was the skeleton man. Bill Richardson was the Human Worm. And of course Robert Reich was the midget ring master. Lanny Davis once told me his fondest memory was that day when the whole cabinet ran at him naked singing "We accept him! We accept him! One of us! One of us! Gooble gobble, gooble gobble! One of us! One of us!”

Once W heard that he calmed down. He knew what Robert Reich thought didn’t matter a whole lot. We knew he didn’t want to give all his money to white construction workers. He wanted to give some to cowboys and motorcycle cops and Indian chiefs. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.