Laura Bush’s Diary (January 25, 2009)I just got an email from Hillary today. She is finally confirmed as Secretary of State and wanted to check in with me to see how our move went. Most people don’t realize that Hillary and I are good friends. You see being a former First Lady is even more of an exclusive club than being an ex-president. There are certain rights and rituals that are handed down from first lady to first lady that no one else knows about. The most important of which is the Sisterhood of the Traveling Underpants.
These underpants were first sewn for Dolly Madison when she married James Madison in the beginning of our Republic. She wore them at his swearing in ceremony and was the only thing she had on when she fled Washington as the British troops invaded and burned the White House. She swore that these underpants were the only reason they were able to escape capture from the marauding limeys. She felt they were her lucky underpants and passed them down to James Monroe’s wife to wear in times of turmoil. They were handed down from first lady to first lady and got our country through many disasters and tragedies. Mrs. Polk wore them during the Mexican War and Mary Todd Lincoln was wearing them when her husband got the news of the Union Victory at Gettysburg. Mary Lincoln took a dump in them when she heard about the Emancipation Proclamation as she was not a fan of the black man. She always blamed herself that she did not wear them that night when they went to Ford’s theater. Jackie O heard about that story and scoffed but she was not laughing when she didn’t were them that night in Dallas. They are a vital legacy that every first lady hands down to her successors.
But you see the transfer remains in the purview and control of the last first lady to determine if her successor is worthy of the magical pantaloons. Betty Ford refused to give them to Roslyn Carter and Mary Hoover would not give them to Eleanor Roosevelt since FDR’s wife only wore boxer shorts. Hillary handed them to me on the day George was elected and we have been friends ever since. She asked me to hold them back until she is actually sworn in as Secretary of State and I agreed. I mean what is a sister to do. I guess I will hand them over to Michelle the next time she invites me to the White House. I think she might need them.
9 comments:
These are just marvelous. I wouldn't take the lack of comments as any indicator. There's just nothing left to say except 'marvelous!'
Thanks. I try to make them different and fun. I think most of the people who comment here are just into funny stuff and aren't normally very political or least don't really enjoy arguing too much about politics. They only jump ugly when they hear something that is beyond the bend that they have to reply.
I think I will have a lot of fun commenting on the Obama administration through Laura's voice. I just hope that their active and bizare sex life does not take over. Time will tell.
Was Eleanor a lesbian? Not that there is anything wrong with that but it is still kind of gross.
By the way these are great Trooper. Very well done. Kudos to you.
You lose points at Althouse if you misspell a word, so watch that bizare, Troop.
Oh, and I agree that Rosalyn Carter wasn't worthy of Mrs. Lincoln's dirtied drawers.
Thirdly, I enjoy arguing about politics but feel that doing so would be like throwing a monkey wrench into the great back and forth that often gets rolling here.
I like Laura Bush. She seems like a nice lady. I bet she is so happy to be out of Washington.
I would never ever live in Washington. I would never want to live in a city where a large portion of the population works for the government. Talk about gross. I would never work in government or work in a union environment. Totally gross.
I saw a documentary once where after FDR died Elenor hug out with a lebenese couple for a long time.
The lebanese couple wore comfortable shoes and liked to go on whale watches. Actually they liked all kind of sea animals. Porpoises, dolphins, mante Rays, seals, orange roughie, walleye pyke and perch.
Lesbians like Friday Night Fish Frys in Wisconsin and Fish Tacos as well.
I saw a lebanese couple today at the market and they looked like men.
They were black and looked like they knew how to play basketball.
I'd rather talk about issues than politics, but it seems impossible these days.
And I read everyone one of these, even the baseball ones, which I only half-get.
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