Monday, March 22, 2010

Tyler Perry's White House of Pain,


Madea: Marian, Marian where you at? I can’t find my push up bra did you borrow it again?
Marian Robinson
(Michelle’s mom) No Madea you know I don’t wear a 48G. Ain’t nobody wear a 48G cepting you and one of those strippers that Bill Clinton used to invite to the White House. Oh and Barbara Bush. She had them big titties.
Madea: Well help me look, I have to get ready. I got to look good.
Marian Robinson: Why?
Madea: Well I have to go up to New York for the 41st anniversary of the ’69 Knicks. You know all the boys. Clyde, Nate Bowman, Dick Barnett and the big man.
Marian Robinson: I don’t understand why you are going to hang out with those old men.
Madea: (In a loud high pitched wail) Watch you mean? They the ’69 team. And I ain’t referring just to the year they played if you catch my meaning girl.
Michelle Obama: (rushes into the room) What’s all this racket? You know it doesn’t look good if we don’t maintain our dignity Auntie Madea. You should be a little less boisterous.
Madea: Don’t you be sassing me girl I changed your diapers. And shitty ass diapers they was too. I never seen anything shittier….well except you skinny ass bowtie wearing Malcolm X husband.
Michelle Obama: Now Auntie that’s not nice. I don’t want to hear it.
Madea: You damn straight gonna hear it. Nobody messing with me going to meet my ’69 Knickerbockers. Don’t be a playa hater bitch.
Michelle: Why you want to go to see all them all men anyways Auntie. They gonna be doing you no good anyhow.
Madea: What you talkin’ about Willis...... Reed?
Marian Robinson: Well you know with the new health care bill, they don’t cover Viagra anymo. Plus I hear they won’t be paying for your abortion neither.
Madea: What? Well what do I care. I too old to get knocked up. But not too old to be knocking those boots. I let the rest of those fools worry about that. Mr. Charley is gonna pay my ticket anyhow. Come on the bus be leaving soon. So let’s go.
Marian Robinson: I’m with you Madea. I hope that little white boy Mike Riordan is there. I love his pale skinny Irish ass.
Madea: Damn straight. Let’s party!

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