Tom Doniphon or Quirt Evans?

There is a base canard put forward by many a moron that John Wayne played the same character in every film. That he only played John Wayne. He did play a type that is true. But there were variations on the theme.

The question who do we want to be? Tom Doniphon or Quirt Evans?

Quirt Evans was the outlaw who gave up his guns for the love of a woman in "The Angel and the Badman." This is one of my favorite John Wayne movies of all time. Quirt quit his job as Wyatt Earp's deputy and sold his ranch to go and seek revenge against the men who killed rancher Walt Ennis who raised him from a pup. He was injured and nursed back to health by a Quaker family. He falls in love with the daughter and she eventually gets him to turn away from the way of the gun. To the point that he puts his life at risk.

Tom Doniphon is a different kettle of fish. He loves Hallie with all of his heart. Loves her enough to let her go to Ransome Stoddard the feminized lawyer who falsely gets credit for the murder of Liberty Valance. Tom shoots him down in cold blood. Without remorse. He is the cynical bitter edge of the Western hero. The hetero hero who is gone today. The world  these days wants everyone to be like Ransome Stoddard. The lawyer. The politician. The liar. The fraud.

People scorn the Tom Doniphon's these days. Even though they are out there keeping us safe. Those hard men risk their lives so the Ransome Stoddards can collect their awards and accolades.

But we know the truth..

A funny thing happened on my way to the forum!

I stopped off for a drink at this motel in Iowa and it turned out to be Caesar's Palace.  Well Sid Caesar's Palace.

It was a new thing out in the boonies.

At least they had hot and cold running Joey Heathertons.

What am I saying? Joey is always hot!

Whose that girl?

n

You might call her a whore, a prostitute or a jezebel but that would not be her name. Only a synonym. You could call her that outside her window and she might come out on the balconey. But she played so many queens that she might blow you off anyway.

Whose that girl?

The Sixto Sense

"Look I weeen de prize."
"I have the glove ...the big metal glove."
"When I am home I like to get nakid and put my beisbols in the metal glove."
"It is mucho frio.....feels so good against my skin."
"I love my beisbols so frio."
"That is why I love Milwaukee. De peoples is so frio."

So who do you want to get all hetero with?

Shouting Thomas wants us to get all hetero normal so we need a poll:

What hot babe of the 1960's do you want to get all hetero on?

Laura

Joey

Jeanie

Pepper

Let me know dudes!

The Good Bad Man

The first major example of the "Good Bad Man" in the Duke's filmography is "The Ringo Kid" in the seminal John Ford western "Stagecoach."

The name Ringo is iconic since it brings back echoes of the outlaw associated with the Clanton's of OK Corral fame. The Ringo Kid is an outlaw return to the town of Lordsburgh to get revenge for the murder of his Father and Brother. The Stagecoach picks him up on the road and they agree to let him ride as the shotgun guard to help defend against the Indians. He falls in love with the prostitute Dallas but still goes out to face the Plummers. Because the Good Bad man is bound by his code. Justice before personal satisfaction.

This is the epitome of the Western hero that John Wayne has played over and over again. An archetype that has been copied over and over again.

The Duke didn't give a shit if you were light in your loafers.

I mean he was able to work with big time mo's like Montgomery Clift and Lawrence Harvey with out any problems. If he had a problem with them he would never have worked with them. It would have come through on screen.

In fact he hired Laurence Harvey to play Colonel William Travis in his life long obsession "The Alamo."  Harvey was gay and continued to beg the Duke to have sex with him through out the filming of the Alamo. The Duke just laughed him off and continued to make the picture. He didn't give a shit. He just gave him a job in one of his most prominent roles alongside Richard Windmark and the great Chill Wills.

Of course that is not enough for the facists who demonize everyone who does not toe the gay line. But then again the Duke didn't give a shit.

Why should we?

The Duke was a great actor

There has been a lot of bullshit about the Duke and whether or not he was a great actor. I think that here is no that he was. The range of his roles might have been limited but within them he became the ultimate icon of that type of character. An icon that resonates to this day. Even as respected an actor as Cagney is not as copied as the Duke. The Duke's portrayal of the "good" bad man with a moral code is the basis of so many movies and TV shows that it is laughable. He was not the first to portray this archetype. But he was the best.

 

From Ringo in "Stagecoach" to Captain Brittles in "She Wore a Yellow Ribbon" to Tom Dunstan in "Red River" he portrayed the loner with violent instincts with a code of honor that is the standard in drama in movies and TV. I have been watching this new TV show called "Believe" in which the protagonist is a little girl with telekinetic powers. Her father was a criminal on Death Row who was busted out to protect her from shadowy government entities. He is a criminal and a violent man but he has a code. He is playing a "John Wayne" role.

 

You know who is a contemporary "John Wayne" role? Raylan Givens on "Justified." He is a violent man who is quick on the trigger who still has compassion for people like the young Kendal Crowe. Raylan Givens and Hondo are the same guy.

 

People copy the Duke's act all the time. To say he was not a great actor is just foolish.

Keep his name out of your mouth.

 

 

Last night on the "Real Housewives of Atlanta" the diva Nene Leakes appeared on a talk show and she talked about how one of the other girls was nothing but a shit stirrer. This other broad Kenya spent the whole season playing one lady off against another to bring the drama. When Andy Cohen the producer asked who should be fired Nene said definitely not Kenya. Because she was good for the show. All of her drama and bullshit brought eyes to the show and they need to keep her for the good of the show.

One of my lurkers emailed me a link of a post by the Evil Blogger Lady where she attacks the Duke. She tries to set him up as a homophobe because of a quote from the new bio that just came out. So naturally she wants to mock and denigrate him and leaves that out there like a big turd in the punchbowl. She got some pushback in the comments but not as much as she would if I jumped in to set the record straight. Which I will not do.

This lurker is acting like Kenya. Stirring the shit. Trying to get a reaction. Even if I don't go over there I could still react at Lem's joint the next time Lawnboy shows up to shit in the punchbowl. But I won't.

Neither one of those douchebags is worthy of talking about a great American like John Wayne. Their knowledge about the Duke, his movies and his beliefs are as shallow as their knowledge of just about everything they are talking about.

I would like to ruminate about the Duke here for a while. I hope you will indulge me.

Ari nails it.

So I wander over to Lem's and I notice that Leisure Suit Larry trolls a serious topic right out of the box. Aridog calls him on it and of course there is a tit for tat. Ari rightfully calls out Lem who as usual is silent on the matter. I have been mulling over this very subject for a while.

I think if Leisure Suit Larry is a continuing welcome presence on Lem's Levity then I will be scaling back my participation there in a big way. I don't want or need contact with those people. It might be time to step back. If the idea is to call out Larry and his pet Bubbles then it is time to move on.

Whose that girl?

She was in a lot of science fiction movies but never a monster movie which was strange because she was a mummy but never a mommy. A famous playboy bunny she dug one of the stars of "The Green Beret's" (Not the Duke of course he only went for Spanish chicks).

Whose that girl?

People repeat themselves

So we were noodling along trying to pick something to watch on Demand when most of the TV had reruns. Demand and Net Flicks lets you pick new stuff to enjoy instead of being stuck watching the same old shit.

We found this show from the USA network called "Sirens." It is made by that asshole Dennis Leary who also made "Rescue Me" the show about fireman that ran for years on FX. It is pretty much the same set up. Fast talking city workers with morbid senses of humor and non politically correct speech dealing with the public. It is the fireman show without the fires. Instead they are paramedics who get strange patients. You guys who cut off their fingers that they steal to impress a girl or Mo's who get a plastic bottle stuck up their butt. It is entertaining if derivative. Worth a look see if you liked "Rescue Me."

The one thing is that one of the paramedics looks just like Eddie Munster. It is freaking weird.

Problems of a shopkeeper.

I have the same UPS guy for seven years. I have him trained. I mean when I get packages when we are closed he calls me and I come open the store so he can deliver them and they don't go back in the system to get battered around and fucked up. I tip him very nicely. Not just on Christmas but whenever he does me a solid. Consequently I get pretty good service.

So we texted him Monday to check on some deliveries and get some pretty bad news. He texts "I got fired." It seems that both the day and night guys got fired along with about 200 other UPS drivers. Naturally we were very upset. Lisa because she felt bad for them and their families. Me because I have to train a new monkey. We speculated why they got fired. I thought it might be that the fired the guys with seniority and lots of vacation and they can replace them with newbies for less money and less vacation days. These idiots had like two months vacation for crying out loud. They seem to be off more than they work. But I had to wonder: What about the Union?

Well I befriended the new guy and he gave me the scoop. It seems the shop steward got his balls twisted and told his members to walk off the job in an unsanctioned strike. So the company fired them all because it was a violation of their contract. So the company fired them all. Hilarity ensued.

The President of the Teamsters flew in yesterday to broker a deal. It seems that they got their jobs back. With heavy fines and suspensions. I think they are a little cowed. These are not the times to fuck around. People are desperate. There is a lot of bad shit happening.

There is one good thing. I get my trained Monkeys back soon.

Whose that girl with the nice choppers?

She was starlet of the seventies who should never have taken a cruise. Not a hardy performer she was a more delicate flower who was in several series that were winners but never quite a dynasty.

Whose that girl?

Marilyn's Diary

My Uncle Herman could never connect with Eddie. He would try to do father and son things with him all the time.

He would take him to the ball game and introduce him to Leo Durocher and Don Drysdale. Of course Eddie wasn't impressed because Sandy Koufax would come to our house all the time for sleepovers with Grandpa. He even slept with him in his coffin.. It was a tight fit but they climbed in head to feet. It must of been a tight fit because they made a lot of noise.

Uncle Herman would try to get Eddie interest in manly pursuits. He tried to teach him how to fix the car but Eddie didn't care. He only wanted to sneak around at night and peep into peoples windows. Or try to steal dirty underwear.

Eddie was a freak. I mean he was even a freak for a werewolf. He would always try to sneak around and peep at me. He didn't want to see my tits or my ass. He just wanted to see me pee. I had to be careful because I didn't want him to catch Uncle Herman when he would sneak into my room to make hot Munster love to me. So what I would do is deliberately pee in a pair of my panties. It would be sopping wet. I would put it on the windowsill as if I was trying to dry it. Eddie would smell it. He had a sniffer like a bloodhound. He would steal my undies and take it back to his coffin and wack off all night long.

So it was safe for Uncle Herman to sneak in and make love to me.

All it cost was a pair of panties and a little pee.

I shouldn't make fun of Ernie and Ethel's Marriage

Because now they could sue you if you won't make their wedding cake.

Betty Rubble is a Dirty Girl

Betty likes to drink.

Betty likes to have fun.

One time Betty went to the Bed Rock Inn and had a couple of shots of tequila and passed out.

The next time she did the same thing and she passed out again.

When she came in the next day the bartender asked "So do you want some tequila."

Betty said "No when I drink tequila my pussy hurts the next day."

Betty Rubble is a Dirty Girl.

Hint to MamaM about the All Star Game

Welcome Shouting Thomas

Hey I sent out an invite to Shouting Thomas who should be joining us shortly. Right now he is hanging out with the "Old Dawgs" as they are gearing up for the swimsuit competition for Mr. Woodstock New York.

My money is on the Midget.

It looks my employee problems are over for a bit.

I have finally been able to find a couple of girls to work in the store. Two lovely young black ladies who will work out just fine. One will be in  the front store and the other will be working in the new back  lingerie store I am putting in the back.

I do have to laugh when moron's in the Witless Protection Program in Wisconsin lecture me about black people. I have hired more black people than they have actually met in their fucking pinched and desperate lives. It's not something I have to talk about. It is just what we do. We treat people as people. Not as a class or some sort of sub species or some shit like that there.

Now I just have to learn how to say their names. Why isn't anybody named Mary or Gina or something?

Take that back McMahon!

The longer I hang around commenting on the internet the more and more I realize it is exacting the same as professional wrestling..

Think about. People choose names and characters and personality traits. They can change over time. You can go from being a hero to being a "heel." Every match is different. Sometimes when you are in a bout your buddies rush the ring. When you are not looking somebody will hit  you with a chair. It is basically all fixed. Basically all bullshit. Some people have managers who set them up and others have tag teams.

Now the tag team is an interesting phenomena. Two separate wrestlers are partners in crime. They tag each other in and go and wail on the opponent. When they are villains or "heels" they cheat and try to double team an opponent. Or one distracts the ref while the other does something dirty.

One of the more interesting tag teams starred the Adorable Adrian Adonis. Adonis started out  as  a biker dude but morphed into a sort of gay wrestler who wore makeup and pink tutus. So he started out as a regular guy but turns into a gay activist. To make money. Sound like somebody you know?

Adrian Adonis  had a big feud with a black wrestler know as the Junkyard Dog who wore a chain around his neck and carried a bone. He was like a dog with a bone complaining that people were cheating him because he was black. Sound like anybody you know?

Now imagine that the Adorable Adrian Adonis and the Junkyard Dog teamed up as a tag team. Going from venue to venue causing trouble and distracting the ref while they toss stuff in peoples eyes and gouging them with foreign objects. It seems to be going on lately everywhere you go.

So I think that I am going to term those people Adorable Adrian Adonis and the Junkyard Dog. It seems appropriate.

I like to take a day off now and again

Yesterday was our day off so we tried to relax a little and not get bogged down in the bullshit. We held off making calls and emails and tried to hang out and veg.

We wanted to watch a movie and of course I opted for an old timey movie. With Six You Get Eggroll starring Doris Day and the great Brian Keith. I don't care much for today's movies other than the Marvel Superhero one's and I don't think it is fair to watch my favorites all the time. Lisa had never seen this one and I knew she would enjoy.

Doris was Doris. Beautiful, tasteful and kind. Brian Keith is the type of actor you don't see much anymore. A man. You know. Guys like Brian Keith, Robert Ryan, Charles Bronson and James Coburn are not around anymore. Brian Keith starred in one of the best TV Westerns of all time in 1960. Created and written by Sam Peckinpah it is one of my favorites. So it was fun to see him in a romantic comedy.

The bit parts were also a blast. These two guys played the leaders of  a flower  power hippie motorcycle gang:

That's right. Corporal Klinger and Father Mulcahy are the leaders of this hippie motorcycle gang talking about "peace and love man it's groovy." A very young George Carlin is the car hop at the drive in. It had two of the best character actresses of all time: Alice Ghostly and Pat Carroll.

But you know what was crazy. The young and luscious daughter of Brian Keith.

What's crazy is that now she is playing the old witch on "Once Upon a Time."

 

Holy crap I am fucking old.

I Can Dream About You

Nowhere Fast!

Previously TV

Well since Television Without Pity is closing down I have to find a new place to read about my favorite TV shows. It seems that everyone from TWOP has migrated over to Previously TV which has sort of the same format.

I registered under the name of Trooper York so we have to see how long it takes for them to ban me. I usually lasted about a week on TWOP before they eighty sixed me.

My strategy is to comment on less popular shows. Maybe I can stay off the radar for a while.

Don't look at me like that.

"You might be my mother and everything but I don't need you tuning your headlights on me like that."
"It just isn't right."
"I know you like my brother more. Everybody does. He got to bang Mary Tyler Moore and I only get to play second banana's for the rest of my life."
"I mean I will spend years working for a meathead and living in Minnesota. I thought Minnesota was only for elderly depressed marsupials?"

Problems of a Shopkeeper

So as you know we are hiring. I put ads in a bunch of places and all the resumes are either for idiots or for people who make appointments but don't show up. But today we had an interview that puts us in a quandary.

This person had a name that could be either a man or a woman. It turns out to be a dude. He was quite well spoken and personable. He had relavent experience as he is the manager of a high end boutique on Madison Avenue. The problem is that he is a man. Can I hire a guy to sell women's clothing? I mean I get away with it because I am an owner and people know me from the show and my personality is such that I can get around it and sell. Can this guy do this?

He was on time and well dressed. By far and away the best candidate. I am seriously considering hiring him.

But he is a dude?

But Wilbur I like to get wet.

"Com'om Wilbur lets go for a swim in the pool. We live in Southern California and we never do any fun stuff."
"But we do honey. Just last week we went riding."
"I mean fun stuff without that stupid horse. You know I like to get ridden every once in while."
"Of course, of course honey but I don't have a saddle to fit you."
"You really are a dummy Wilbur."
"Listen if you are going to nag me I am just going into the barn to talk to Ed."
"GO AHEAD YOU JERK OFF! I AM GOING TO THE BEACH!"

Dog Photos that Gene Simmons don't want you to see.

But I know someone else that thinks this is hot.

Problems of a shopkeeper

So I might have mentioned that we are opening a new lingerie store in the back office. There is a side entrance on President Street that I have kept closed the last seven years. Mainly because the gate is a bitch to open. It is an old school heavy duty one that you role up by main strength. Obviously I can't do that anymore so I am having it replaced. This is the before photo. After I change it I will show you the after photo.

We are going to put a few mannequins in the window with some sexy lingerie on them so the neighborhood pervs will be standing outside. I might have to get a bouncer.

Of course NYC has a regulation about this. This old school gate is grandfathered in until 2026 but if I change it I have to use a gate you can see through. Which is fine since we want people to look in and want to come to the store. An electric gate will go for about $2,600. Nice right?

Whisper in my ears darling

"I just wanted to tell you one thing."

"What's that darling?"

"Please stop staring at my tits."

Whose that girl?

A favorite of ours who has been here before of course, of course. She was the extremely hot and extremely neglected sitcom wife who played second fiddle to her husbands true love. And it wasn't even in a Western!

Whose that girl in the short shorts?

Bette Rubble is a dirty girl

Oh yes she is dirty.

But she is also tired.

You see Wilma wears her out.

That makes the Bed Rock.

So to speak.

In heels.

Ya-ba-da-ba-do-her!

Dog photos that Meade does not want you to see

It seems that things are getting weirder and weirder in Wisconsin. They have progressed to three ways. The next move is to get inter-species polygamous marriage approved in all fifty states.

Don't be a hater.

Get the fuck out of here with your Whole Foods Bullshit

So after we had finished bringing the fabric to the storage unit we decided to go to the new Whole Foods. It is about twenty blocks from my house and since I don't have a car we didn't have an occasion to go there. I had Omar drive us there. We parked in the lot and he pushed the wagon for me in the store.

I wanted him to carry a canteen so I could call him Gunga Din but he wouldn't go for it.

Anyway they did have a nice meat section even though it was wildly overpriced. I got a couple of filet mignons to cook and some veggies for the side. We got a little of this and a little of that but the prices were outrageous. The little food market across the street called Gourmet Fresh had most of this stuff. The veggies at KY Fruits are half the price. So we won't be going back.

But at least I got to see what everyone is talking about. As usual it is bullshit.

Concerntrate youse guys!

In Xanadu did Jessica Hahn
Two stately Pleasure-Dome decree,
Where Alph, the sacred river ran
Through caverns measureless to man
Down to a sunless sea.

If Star Date was like J Date

"Stop Spock you must not do this. I do not accept you as my mate for Pon Farr.""Well you're dirty and sweet, clad in black
Don't look back and I love you
You're dirty and sweet, oh yeah
Well you're slim and you're weak
You've got the teeth of a hydra upon you
You're dirty sweet and you're my girl."
"What the fuck?":
"Get it on, bang the gong , get it on!"

That's where we live

 

 

 

When you're young and so in love as we
And bewildered by the world we see
Why do people hurt us so
Only those in love would know
What a town without pity can do

If we stop to gaze upon a star
People talk about how bad we are
Ours is not an easy age
We're like tigers in a cage
What a town without pity can do

The young have problems, many problems
We need an understanding heart
Why don't they help us, try and help us
Before this clay and granite planet falls apart

Take these eager lips and hold me fast
I'm afraid this kind of joy can't last
How can we keep love alive
How can anything survive
When these little minds tear you in two
What a town without pity can do

How can we keep love alive
How can anything survive
When these little minds tear you in two
What a town without pity can do

No, it isn't very pretty what a town without pity

I knew I read it but I forgot....I read so much stuff

It turns out that I read a novel about the life of Cynthia Ann Parker by one of my favorite authors Douglas C. Jones who wrote "The Season of Yellow Leaf." It is a shame that his books are out of print. I hope they are reissued on Kindle. I enjoyed his first novel "The Court marshal of George Armstrong Custer." That was one of the first alternative history novels I ever read. Jones was a bit of a hippie but a pretty damn good Western writer.

You know what would make a good book.....

I am currently reading "The Searchers: The Making of An American Legend" by Glenn Frankel. It is the story of the making of the John Ford movie. As you might or might not know the story of "The Searcher's" is a meditation on the story of Cynthia Ann Park who was kidnapped by the Comanche. She was the mother of the famous Comanche's last chief Quanah Parker. Now I think the story has been told from Cynthia Ann's perspective. I bet there were novels written from her point of view. But I would like to take a crack at it.

Problems of a shopkeeper

Sorry if my posting output is down but I am very tired. We have been having a lot of issues at the store and it is killing me.

We can't seem to find anyone to hire. We have advertised in several venues including Craig's list, Indeed, All Retail Jobs dot.com and other areas including FIT and Pratt University. Either they don't reply when I send an email after they send their resume or they make an appointment and don't show up. I  have three people that made appointments and did not show or call or email. What the fuck Al Roker doesn't anyone need a fucking job?

Now as you know we manufacture in both Brooklyn and California. In Brooklyn we end up taking our fabric to the manufacturer which is a big pain in the ass. I mean I try to save on the shipping since it costs an arm and a leg. So I fill up Omar's SUV and we truck it to the factory. Now part of the process is they then take the fabric to the cutting service who cuts up the fabric into  dresses or skirts or whatever  that they then get back and so in the factory.

Well the slant eyed cunt that manufacturers for us called and said that the cutting service demanded we take back all of our fabric. You see in New York I guess that space is at a premium because I never had a problem in California. You see the cutter knows if I keep the stuff at his place he will get the job cutting. Right? Well these fuckers didn't care. So instead of taking care of it the slant eyed cunt said we had to take the fabric out and she wasn't going to do it. So I had to go with Omar and get the stuff from the fucking chinks at the cutting service.

Now the thing that burns my ass is that the cutter is around the corner from the motherfucking Tawinese twat's place and she could have brought it to her place. But she didn't want to do it. So we had to take it to our personal storage locker in Flatbush Avenue which is about ten miles away. What the fuck Charley Chan Cunt?

Lisa told this motherfucking zipperhead that we will never bring this fabric back for her to work on. I will ship it to Cali or use another factory. But she will not get the work the fucking Mongoloid Motherfucker!

Poor Omar had to bust his ass. I mean he had a lot to carry and shit. I am  too fucking weak to pitch in like I used to and Lisa is yelling at me that I am doing to much as it is. It is fucking frustrating since I can't just bull through and get it done like I  usually do.

Of course Omar is happy since I pay him really well and we took him to dinner. But still this was all so unnecessary. What the fuck?

This fucking shit is gonna catch me another heart attack!

Dog photos Meade does not want you to see.

Meade likes dress up. When he dresses up. When his friends dress up.

That is why the Evil  Blogger Lady has been so angry lately. She isn't getting any so she has to sublimate by eating five breakfasts each morning and rubbing bacon on her twat. But even the puppies are turning up their noses.

It has been a grim winter in Wisconsin. Just sayn'

It is all coming together.....Amazing

Things are moving at light speed. That is why I have not been posting a lot lately. I started talking to Artie Bucco about stuff. As I suspected he started dropping by the store everyday. You see he wants to get the cachet of being a neighborhood guy instead of an actor guy. So I took him around and introduced him around. He got the in with Marco Polo and the pork store and the bakery guys.

Anyhoo we batted around the idea of a script for "Blue Bloods." But a funny thing happened. I let him read a little of "Joey Gallo's Lament" and he went crazy. He loved it. It took some excepts and showed it to Terrence Winter who wrote a lot of "The Sopranos" and now is the show runner and principal author of "Boardwalk Empire." And you know what? He wants to make it as a mini-series for HBO. Of course Artie wants a part. I convinced him to sell it with him as  Larry Gallo since that is more age appropriate. They are going to try to get some of the old Soprano crew for some of the parts. Johnny (Sack) Cutola as Profaci. Big Pussy as his brother in law the Mook. Steve Buscemi as Joe the Plumber. Jim Caviezel as the Dad. And he is thinking really big for Joey Gallo. He's talking Nicholas Cage. He can play crazy very convincingly.

Things are moving fast. They are already drawing up contracts. Holy shit!