Toot’s Shors Saloon, February 16, 1962(Joe DiMaggio walks into Toots Shore’s saloon, what he doesn’t know is that his ex wife Marilyn Monroe is sitting in the back)
Toots: Hey Joe, how ya doing….ah…Marilyn’s here…in the back…just so you know.
Joe DiMaggio:
Toots: I don’t want no trouble Joe, why don’t you just go up and say hello.(Joe walks to the back to say hello and stands in front of her table)
Marilyn: ( stands up and kisses Joe on the Cheek and says in a breathy sexy voice) Hi Joe. Did you miss me? (Marilyn sits down opposite Joe, and as she does her legs are really open. She is definitely not wearing any underwear)
Joe DiMaggio:
Toots: Of course he missed ya kid.
Marilyn: So Joe. How have you been? Have you been seeing anybody lately? I divorced Artie. That bastard. He put me in nut house. A nut house Joe.
Joe DiMaggio:
Toots: Yeah I heard about that keed. That’s a shame.
Marilyn: At least I got to meet my real father. He loved me Joe. We got to work together. He wouldn’t admit he was my father but I know he was.
Toots: Who was that doll
Marilyn: Clark was my father. I just know it. At least I got to know him before he died.
Toots: But how could that be. Isn’t he too young to be your dad.
Marilyn: It is so, it is so (shrilly screaming flecks of spittle fly from her lips which had her lipstick smeared over her teeth)
Toots: Ok keed, don’t get excited.
Joe DiMaggio:
Toots: Yeah I heard about that keed. That’s a shame.
Marilyn: At least I got to meet my real father. He loved me Joe. We got to work together. He wouldn’t admit he was my father but I know he was.
Toots: Who was that doll
Marilyn: Clark was my father. I just know it. At least I got to know him before he died.
Toots: But how could that be. Isn’t he too young to be your dad.
Marilyn: It is so, it is so (shrilly screaming flecks of spittle fly from her lips which had her lipstick smeared over her teeth)
Toots: Ok keed, don’t get excited.
Marilyn: You believe me Joe, don’t you?
Joe DiMaggio:
Joe DiMaggio:
Marilyn:What nothing to say…well screw you…you guinea motherfucker (Marilyn throws her drink at Joe, picks up her purse and storms out of the saloon)
Toots Shor: What a crazy broad man, forget about her Joe.
Joe DiMaggio: Get me her doctor on the phone.
Toots: You sure Joe?
Joe DiMaggio: DO LIKE I TELL YOU AND SHADUPP!
3 comments:
Troop, I keep forgetting to mention, there is apparently a Toots Shor documentary coming out. His granddaughter is producing it. Dennis Miller interviewed her about Toots on his radio show a month or so ago.
I know and I can't wait to see it.
I met Toot's once when he was old and sick. They even tried to revive his saloon in a space near Madison Square Garden in the 1970's
and it was a bust.
Some of the older guys I used to drink with used to tell stories of the old days at the saloon with Jackie Gleason, Joe and Marilyn and Mickey Mantle and Billy Martin and Frank Gifford and Kyle Rote and all those guys.
This posts are just a homage to those days. I wish I would have been there.
Dennis Miller said if he had to choose any other time and place to be alive, that'd be it. Honestly, I know nothing about it but it all sounded so interesting and fun, I'm going to see it if it's ever on Netflix.
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