Friday, August 26, 2011

The Wacky World of Carol Herman






Winds are fierce. Trees get uprooted. And, it pays to stay indoors. I like to stay indoors. In my little chair that they strap me too. With the built in potty.

Mother Nature isn't to be fooled with! At least we can try to foretell what happens. Especailly when they make that fake butter. I hate that when they put that my toast. I remember when I was dating Marlon Brando and he only used real butter for anal like in that movie. The copied that from my life.

Once, I think, New York got hit by Hurricane Carol. I think it was hurricane Carol Channing. You see she didn't have bladder control and would flood the front rows of the Minskoff theater with her pee.

Then? I think there was a Hugo. You know when I was a young girl I gave Victor Huge a hummer. He said he used me as an inspiration for a character. He kept making me ring this bell. I wonder why.

The "evacuation" just means idiots get into the cars and start driving. Making everything worse. I hate these new fangled motorcars. I wish we could all have those chinks pulling in those ricksaws.

Oh, yeah. Stores should board up their windows. (Replacing windows is expensive.) That's why I put plywood over my computer.

And, anyone planning a big wedding? Well, there goes "that" deposit. And, all those plans. My first three weddings were very big. The next four were smaller. I had to keep moving since my husbands all seemed to die mysteriously. Bad luck don't you know. I wonder why that nice RH Hardin won't answer my emails. I know he is single.

Then? What if it veers west? And, then just roils the water? Wait a minute. The Atlantic is on the east side of New York. Whatever.

Is it better without weather reports? I have to ask AL Roker the next time I run into him at the bathhouse with Sam Champion. The good news is that hospitals have backup generators. But I have lots of batteries for my little friend.

I should be fine.

8 comments:

Trooper York said...

A new series here at Trooper York.

No coherent comments please.

chickelit said...

She's commented here before. Maybe you should extend her a welcome by giving her a tag?

I did.

edutcher said...

Carol is an acquired taste.

Like wine.

Or asparagus.

PS Better Carol than PeeWee.

Trooper York said...

Yes. And both can make your urine smell. Just sayn.

Trooper York said...

She has a tag.

"The Wacky World of Carol Herman."

chickelit said...

The downside is that because you two are both Brooklynites from way back you can get all arcane on us here.
Your deftness will come through though, I'm sure.

chickelit said...

Or maybe she said she was from Queens. I forget.

blake said...

I used to comment on Ulysses Grant's drinking blog. I mean, he's known for being a drinker, but what most people don't know is that his favorite drink was The Hurricane.

Coincidental!