Laura Bush's Diary

Laura Bush’s Diary (January 21, 2009)

Well we finally made it home to Crawford. Thank God we got away from the Obama’s. He seems like a nice man but his wife just wouldn’t let him talk. And the way his mother-law get interrupting him, it just wasn’t very respectful. When that old battleaxe Barbara used to flap her gums I would have to put her in her place. Told her if she didn’t shut her pie hole I would warm up the Country Squire and wait outside her house till she went for her electrolysis treatments. That shut up that pop eyed twat.

I just wanted to relax and watch American Idol but Georgie kept flipping back to the inaugural ball coverage. I mean that white dress! Seriously, she looked like a constipated ostrich. That laughing hyena bitch with the exposed cootch on Idol had a better dress. What was she thinking?
Obama looked happy because he got to talk. He better enjoy it because I bet she will give him an earful when they got back to the White House. And some dick on the internet said that they would be going back to the White House to have sex. Yeah right. They would have to bang each other every day to match our record. People always misunderestimated my George. He couldn’t always find the right words but he was a cunning linguist. He loved to put his tongue on a pussy. That’s why we only have dogs.