Friday, January 15, 2010

Hell needs a new PA Announcer


Forcas: Will you be interviewing any new announcers my dread Lord.
Lucifer: No I can't. I have to go over to Cartoon Hell today.
Forcas: I didn't know that there even was a Cartoon Hell. I was never stationed there.
Lucifer: Oh yeah it’s pretty cool. Once the Cartoonist dies his characters either go to Cartoon Hell or that other place.
Forcas: But what if someone else draws them and the comic strip continues.
Lucifer: Well then that’s a new Character altogether. Nobody exactly duplicates the sensibility and soul of a cartoon character. So they get a new life but the old soul comes here to me in Cartoon Hell.
Forcas: This sounds very interesting My Lord. Could I come and see? I might get some ideas on how to torture the forsaken souls here in the regular Hell.
Lucifer: Sure. That’s what Hell is all about. The Devil and his demons having some fun. Let’s go. (A poof of smoke and they are magically transported to Cartoon Hell)
Lucy (from Charley Brown): Welcome Sire! It has been so long since have visited.
Lucifer: Yeah I know but I have been busy. Ok where is he? Where the fuck is Gumby?
Lucy: Oh I have him hanging around right over there. (They walk over a lake of fire to a hill where Gumby is being crucified)
Forcas: Ah the old ways are always best.
Gumby: Ohhhh Nooooo! Why are you doing this to me? What did I ever do?
Lucifer: Well you thought you were King of the Toons. But your creator Art Clokey didn’t give a shit. When he croaked he took those faggots Davy and Goliath up with him to heaven. And you came straight to me.
Gumby: BUT WHY!!! WHAT DID I EVER DO?
Lucifer: Seriously, you are a douche. You know what you did. I mean the stuff with Pokey alone. How the fuck did you think he got that name? You think that didn’t go on your permanent record. What a maroon.
Forcas: Very cool sire.
Lucifer: Yeah well enough with this loser. Let him hang around here for a while and ponder the error of his ways. Lucy.
Lucy: Yes My Lord and Master?
Lucifer: Let’s go over and see what Betty Rubble is up to. I love that dirty slut. Oh and bring your football. I bet it will fit by now. Hee.

1 comment:

chickelit said...

Why are they crucifying Gray Davis again? That poor man.