So I got my Chaka Khan's aligned

So last week the wife and I went for a massage. But it wasn't one of those pleasurable ones you get at the hotel spa when you are on vacation. It was a deep tissue massage that was really a medical massage. It hit all the pressure points to release the toxins that have built up in our systems.

One of our new customers told us about her practice in which she does a medical massage. We both have been feeling poorly and we needed something for our various aches and pains. So on our day off we went to get a massage.

At the risk of having the Crack Emcee lose his mind, she is also into this healing thing with stones and electromagnetic stuff or something. I didn't really understand it but I figured it couldn't hurt. But the massage sure did.

She dug in there with her fingers into my bad leg and my shoulder and the pain was excruciating. But I have to admit after it I felt much better. Of course the next day I thought I was gonna die. It released all of the toxins and I had to drink gallons of water to flush it out of my system. I just recovered a couple of days ago.

But there was one funny thing that happened. Now you know the deal about me and cats.
I mean I love pussy but I hate cats. I scieve them. But whenever a cat sees me it has to come over and rub against my leg or sit in my lap or something. The bar cat might come up from the basement and all the girls will go "Oh here cute kitty...come here" and the fucking fleaball will make a b-line right to me. So the masseuse has a cat that was sitting motionless on a tall piece of furniture. I thought it was stuffed until it moved after staring at me for ten minutes straight. It sits there the whole time the wife is getting a massage. But when it's my turn it jumps down to the floor. So I go "Watch out for the cat because cats love me" and she goes "Oh don't worry she won't jump on the table, she is well trained." So you know what it does. It goes to the next room and knock all my clothes down and makes a nest of them and goes to sleep in it. With her fucking disgusted cat head sticking out of the leg hole of my shorts. What the Fuck? The wife had to chase it away and put my stuff on a high shelf where it couldn't get at it. It was just a pain in the ass.

But at least one good thing happened. Titus will be pleased. I got my Chaka Kahn aligned.