Lucifer: This is getting ridiculous. How is it we can’t find anybody to be the new PA announcer. Maybe we should broaden the search a little. Who has slid down the chute lately Forcas?
Forcas: Well we don’t have anybody for PA announcer but I think our football season is looking up finally. After we got Jack Tatum and John Mackey it was good but now it’s really great.
Lucifer: Really? Did the Cowboys team plane crash yet? I been waiting for that for a while now.
Forcas: No that’s not for a couple of years yet when Romo tries to give the pilot a rusty trombone. You never guess who is here.(There is a loud rumbling as a massive body tumbles down the chute to hit the door. Suddenly there is three hard knocks against the door)
Lucifer: Is that you Bubba?
Bubba Smith: Damn straight it’s me. Where I’m at motherfucker? Is this Steve fuckin Guttenberg’s place?
Forcas: No sir we have a lot of Jews but he is not here yet. Why you are in Hell Mr. Smith. And this is your biggest fan, Lucifer.
Lucifer: Damn straight son. I have been waiting for you ever since you threw the Super Bowl. And you were so cheap. I didn’t have to give you anything but a case of Hennessy and some white girls. Most of the team is here. Carroll Rosenblum is over at the owner’s box, he’s the one with the seaweed in his hair. You have to get out practicing with the rest of the devil’s rejects. They are all from the Raiders, Eagles, Cowboys and Steelers. We just have to wait for Big Ben to show up after Snooki’s father shoots him when he rapes her at half time of the next Super Bowl and we will have a decent Quarterback and we can finally beat Heaven’s team.
Bubba Smith. We’s gonna beat Heaven’s team? How dat be possible?
Lucifer: Well like I said dozens of times before ….the big guy doesn’t care all that much about football. He only watches the New York Giants games. God is really a baseball fan and when the Yankees are in the hunt he doesn’t pay too much attention till after the series is over and sometimes I can fuck up the Giants and then he loses interest. But he does root for our annual Homecoming Game.
Bubba Smith: There be a Homecoming game betweens Heaven and Hell.
Lucifer: Oh yeah. Every year. But you better watch out. I know Reagan is gonna be there with the big guy and he will have him mess you up for banging Nancy all those times. So you better get to work on your conditioning. Now go down to the blocking pits of hell and run over Eleanor Roosevelt and Madelyn Murray O'Hair. They are our tackling dummies this month since they scieve the touch of a man.
Bubba Smith. O lordy! White Ladies!
Lucifer: That’s my boy!
8 comments:
I can't get the sizing or fonts to work on this post. I don't know what I am doing wrong.
Big is better
When Trooper's bride complains about his prick size he just says it's a "font problem." Kill Bubba Kill.
I've fixed things like that before. You need to take the post back into edit and select view html. Then get rid of all that weird font shit code.
Prolly not worth it though because it takes some time.
I have been trying that chickenlittle and I used to correct in the html box all the time. But it got all crazy on me and it was not worth the effort.
When I type it right into the box it works fine but if I put it in word first to check the spelling it gets all messed up.
But if I don't check the spelling then Sixty Grit gets mad at me!
Holy crap, Trooper, you mean to tell me you actually check the spelling? That makes me sad, not mad. Sure, nome is a word, when capitalized, but even spell checking requires some human knowledge of proofreading. As you were, Trooper, leave the proofreading to the professionals.
I just dash the shit off there Sixty and Spelling is not something I worry about.
Tori Spelling or any of them.
Fuck em if they can't take a joke.
She may or may not be able to take a joke, but she sure looks funny.
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