Marilyn's Diary

I remember those days when I lived in the Munster Family mansion like it was yesterday. We were living in Southern California and it was always warm and sunny.

Of course Grandpa couldn't come out in the sun as he would turn into a pillar of salt. He couldn't even walk his rare clumbers or pinch a loaf in peace until the sun went down. But he didn't need much exercise since he never ate much. You see he was supposed to suck blood and he would have gotten fat but he always sort of forgot what he was supposed to suck. He would spend all of his time in the bus station and just forget what he was supposed to be doing there. Of course his real name is George Michael. He always ended up sucking but it was seldom blood. So to speak. But at least he stayed fabulous.

Aunt Lily didn't like to lay out too much because she would just get greener and greener as she tanned. And in Transylvania they looked down on the really green witches. They liked the mulatto's. You see most of them tried to straighten their hair and pass as at least a "high-greenie" but Lily was a pure blooded Transylvania girl. She used to frizz out her hair and dance the bat dance on that music show back home called "Lack of Soul Train." But here in LA she was trying to pass. So she never went to the pool.

Of course Little Eddie never went outside the little pervert. He spent all his time drilling holes in the wall so he could watch me go to the bathroom and beat his meat. He was a sicko.

So that left only me and my Uncle Herman. We would swim and splash each other as happy as a couple of otters. Of course Uncle Herman was seven feet tall so the deep end was really shallow for him. I would swim right up to him and he would hug me and I would bob up and down in the water. Uncle Herman always swam naked and as I would hold on to him so tightly he would slowly and gentle slip inside my bikini bottom until his enormous horse like appendage would slide into my warm and wet .....err.....we would have some fun.

I miss the pool back at the Munster Mansion.

But most of all I miss my Uncle Herman.