Saturday, July 4, 2009

Happy Fourth of July.


Philadelphia, 1776 Whitney’s Tavern
John Adams: We have to do something, some sort of agreement or statement. If we let the congress drift Dickenson and his friends will eventually convince enough delegates to attempt a gesture of reconciliation with the King. That cannot be.
Ben Franklin: Hey check out the teats on that barmaid. The one with the white bonnet and the low cut chemise.
Charles Carroll of Carrolton: Which one is he talking about Tom; they all have white bonnets on.
Tom Jefferson: I don’t care, I only dig black chicks.
John Adams: Gentleman please we must focus on the matter at hand.
Ben Franklin: I am focusing on what I have in my hand. Right here baby. Remember we must all hang together or we will all hang separately. Just some of us are better hung than others.
Sam Adams: Damn this ale sucks. Even I could do better than this slop. You know I think I might start a brewery.
John Adams: Gentlemen, please enough of this ribaldry and frivolity. We must do something. I propose we prepare a statement. A declaration if you will. One that will state our principles that will bind us and our sacred honor in a compact that will echo down the ages. Are you with me?
Ben Franklin: (has grabbed the barmaid and put on his lap, he places his bald pate between her mountainous mounds and says) BBBBRRREEEWWWSSSSKKKIIIII
Tom Jefferson: Oh enough you tight assed bean town turd. I knock something out tonight. Right now I am off to this new establishment down on the other side of town. A most elegant quadroon has opened a “Charm School” for refined young ladies. Come on lets go (he gathers up his two rare clumbers and leaves the taproom).
Sam Adams: Hey I thought he was just a ginger haired fop who was not all that interested in woman.
Ben Franklin: Who gives a shyte? More for us,(he pushes the barmaid off his lap and slaps her ample buttocks) More Ale my darling. Let’s party like its 1779.

2 comments:

ricpic said...

Tsk, tsk, a calumny on The Founding Fodders.

Anonymous said...

This was the same night that George Burns did that cigar trick with Betsy Ross, isn't it?