Saturday, May 22, 2010

DIamonds are a girls best friend!



(At Butter in downtown Manhattan, Derek Jeter comes walking into the club with Jorge Posada)
Mariah Carey: Hey baby I am glad you are here…(she rushes to hug and kiss him but the immaculate turned out Jeter backs away)
Derek Jeter: Hey Mimi how are you. Listen I have something for you.
Mariah Carey: Oh how lovely. What is it? Chanel?
Derek Jeter: Errr no. It’s something this friend of the Yankees trainer Gene Monahan cooked up. I think his name is Beeswax or Bissage or something….anyway it is an organic mixture…I think it is vinager and water…it’s an old family recipe from back in England….it comes with an attachment too.
Mariah Carey: OH MY GOD! IT”S A DOUCHEBAG! WHY WOULD YOU GIVE ME A DOUCHEBAG YOU DOUCHBAG. (Mariah slaps it out of his hand and storms out of the club)
Jorge Posada: Holy shit Jeets you sure pissed her off.
Derek Jeter: Yeah well what are you gonna do. Come on. There’s Jessica Alba over there I want to say hello. I’m tied of trying to date someone and having it be like I am finding Nemo. Enough of that shit.

4 comments:

Ron said...

Trooper, have you got your Sex and the City 2 tickets yet? Bring friends just to heckle!

Trooper York said...

Dude are you trying to kill me.

The wife made me watch her on "Watch What Happens Now" on Bravo after the Real Housewives and I almost went out and jumped into the Gowanus Canal.

Ron said...

the wife made me watch her on "Watch What Happens Now" on Bravo after the Real Housewives and I almost went out and jumped into the Gowanus Canal.

Cruel and Unusual Punishment! No court would deny it! ;)

Good to see you're in fine blogging form Trooper!

ricpic said...

Blue doesn't suit Jeter.

The core four are OLD and Tampa Bay is pulling away. Plus, A-Rod's bat is not responding to the Cameron Diaz treatment..well, not on the field anyway.