Thursday, May 20, 2010

Millionaire Matchmaker!


Patti Stanger: Well welcome to the Millionaire Matchmaker here on Bravo. What's your name.
Lawrence: Larry.
Patti Stanger: Nice to meet you Larry. Well you are in luck. I have matched you up with a celebrity.
Lawrence: Really. What kind of celebrity? I hope it's not a lady wrestler.
Patti Stanger No, she is a great singer and a very nice girl. I mean she has some issues but I think you guys are great for each other. Hey how do you feel about having a cocktail now and then?
Lawrence: Well that's fine. I enjoy a having half a glass of beer now and again. But I don't take it too far.
Patti Stanger Here she is now. (a limo pulls up....the door opens....Amy Winehouse is inside...she belches...and smiles)
Amy Winehouse: Hey mate! Where's the party?
Patti Stanger Well here you go Larry, you can just get in the limo and go off on your date.
Lawrence: You know on second thought...I have to say I don't want to be on TV. Thanks anyway. I want to stay in the background. The next thing you know your picture is in the paper.
Patti Stanger But you are giving up a golden opportunity here.
Lawrence: Thats ok. I think I am just going to go back to the Internet. Maybe I can figure something else out.

4 comments:

chickelit said...

Come on guys don't just vote for the skankiest-vote for the one who has done the most lasting damage to American culture!

chickelit said...

Hint: It's not whinehorse.

Hoosier Daddy said...

That girl ain't right

blake said...

Lawrence?

Lawrence Meade?