Trooper York: Dry your ducks!

Friday, April 29, 2011

Dry your ducks!

Sometimes your duck gets wet.

So you need to dry out.

So to speak.

17 comments:

Meade said...: Whatever you do...
don't get them in a row.; April 29, 2011 at 11:14 PM
chickelit said...: OK, I'm staying out of these ones so to speak.; April 29, 2011 at 11:39 PM
ricpic said...: A duck walks into a pharmacy and asks for Chapstick. Cashier: "Cash or check?" Duck: "Just put it on my bill."

Hey, don't blame me, it's one of those lousy google duck jokes jokes.; April 30, 2011 at 9:55 AM
Trooper York said...: What is everyone gonna duck these posts?; April 30, 2011 at 11:41 AM
Titus said...: Are duck's privates on the outside or inside.

Where is a duck's hog?; April 30, 2011 at 12:55 PM
The Dude said...: Duck walks into a pharmacy, asks for a condom.

Pharmacist says "Should I put this on your bill?"

Duck says "I'm not that kind of duck!"; April 30, 2011 at 4:45 PM
chickelit said...: What is everyone gonna duck these posts?

Punishment for throwing up all over my comment thread.; April 30, 2011 at 5:47 PM
Sir Archy said...: To Trooper York.

Sir,

'Tis the Fate of many a Man of even slight Eminance to be pester'd by insignificant Friends as well as Enemies; so, the Dog who barks through fondness is no less troublesome than the Cur stimulated by Anger. I pray, Sir, that you may find it in your generous Humour to take my ghostly Hand proffer'd in Friendship, and that I may not be excessively troublesome to a Man who has shewn himself to use his Guests with utmost Kindness. You may know, Sir, that I am the Ghost of a Gentleman, dead these Two-Hundred-Sixty Years and more.

As you write of Ducks, I may tell you that in my Age, perhaps the most famous Water-Fowl was a Mechanical Semblance of a Duck, made by one M. Vaucanson, a very intelligent Artificer at Grenoble and Paris. He is said to have made a mechanical Flute-Player; a Shepherd who play'd upon the Pipe & Tabor; a Tambourine Player; and, his crowning Achievement, Magnum Opus & Glory of his Art: The famous Farting Duck of Paris.

This Bird could flap its Wings; drink of a Dish of Water; and, what excited the most Astonishment, eat & digest Corn, deficating very convincingly the Contents of its Bowels. It should not surprise the Student of Natural Philosophy to learn that M. Vaucanson, clever as he may have been, had not yet master'd the Fluxions of Humours attendant upon the Digestion of Food; so, that the Bird's Offal had, of needs, been prepared beforehand. M. Voltaire remark'd, that whilst the French Nation had many fine Accomplishments by which to remember the Age of Lewis XIVth, the Glory of France under his Successor might best be compass'd by a Deficating Duck.

The Improvements this Modern Age might make upon M. Vaucanson's Invention are wonderful to imagine. If we, in my Day, could make a Duck shit with Clock-work, what could not you Moderns do, having harness'd the Power of tamed Lightning itself to such Ends?

I earnestly urge you to enquire of several of the Toy-Makers you had lately unintended met, whether any would be so ingenious as to oblige an old Ghost his fond desire to have erected a fitting Monument to this Age? I assure you, Sir, the Increase of Custom you should get from the Display of such a Pet would more than defray the Charges of the Artist who should make him. And you, Sir, would thus gladden the cold, Ghostly Heart of

Your most humble & obt. Servant,
Archbd. B—; April 30, 2011 at 10:08 PM
Peter V. Bella said...: And sometimes you have to dip your beak.; April 30, 2011 at 10:23 PM
chickelit said...: I demand a full recount on that bunny vote.; April 30, 2011 at 11:49 PM
Penny said...: Sir Archy!; May 1, 2011 at 1:23 AM
rcocean said...: A duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Got any grapes?" The bartender says "No, I don’t have any grapes." The duck walks out.

Next day, he walks back into the bar, asks the same question, gets the same answer.

The day after, he walks back in and again asks "Got any grapes?" and the bartender says, "No, and if you come back in here tomorrow and ask me again, I'll nail your bill to the bar!"

The next day, the duck walks back into the bar, and asks the bartender "Got any nails?" The bartender says, "No."

So, the duck says, "Got any grapes?"; May 2, 2011 at 1:39 AM
rcocean said...: Ducks are funny, Eagles aren't - go figure.; May 2, 2011 at 1:40 AM
deborah said...: Aflac.

(Now that's funny.); May 2, 2011 at 10:04 AM
chickelit said...: I think hell has a brand new PA announcer.; May 2, 2011 at 1:58 PM
Trooper York said...: I am not going to touch that one because I am not convinced it is true. Just sayn'; May 2, 2011 at 6:10 PM
chickelit said...: I am not going to touch that one because I am not convinced it is true. Just sayn'

Fair enough.

What about that bunny poll recount?; May 2, 2011 at 6:50 PM

Friday, April 29, 2011

Dry your ducks!

17 comments:

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