Marilyn's Diary

I loved when my Aunt Lily would go on  a trip with her girlfriends. She had a bunch of friends that would go on a trip once a year without their husbands. You know. To cut loose and have some fun.

There was Morticia Adams. She pretended she was from England and that she was all classy but she was really from Calabasas in the Valley. They had a big mansion and ran a couple of gay bars in Hollywood. Her husband Gomez used to follow her around and profess his love for her all the time. I always thought he was gay but they seemed to be happy. His only job seemed to be to carry around their weird pet. It was a hand called "Thing." They would dress up in matching costumes and take it everywhere they went. It was really weird. But Morticia loved that Thing. She called it her sex monster. Nobody wanted to ask any questions.

Then there was Jeanie Nelson who was married to an astronaut. Now Major Nelson would never be around whenever there was a party. He was always busy with his big name friends. So Jeanie was all lonely in her mansion with her lemons and illegal immigrant house servants. So she was happy to go on trip.

Samantha Stevens was a lot of fun. She was a witch with her own clothing store and a terrible relationship with her mother and her sister. They were always fighting and turning people into toads and stuff. She was best friends with Morticia even though they fought all the time. They always made up and were as thick as thieves. They were just exhausting.

Last but not least there was Carol Post. She was divorced by then and very bitter. Her husband had left her for a horse. Of course. She was drinking and taking xanax and partying all the time. She was always wasted and going around half naked with her tampon string hanging out. She was just a mess.

This time they were going to Amsterdam. I hope they have some fun and that they won't fight too much.

I will be home with my Uncle Herman. I can't wait.