You've got mail

To: Huma Abedin
From: Hillary Clinton
cc: William Jefferson Clinton, Ellen Degeneres, Candy Crowly, Emily's list

Huma.

I miss you.

Please come back to work for me. You dropped the rug rat and your husband doesn't care about you. He is too busy whacking his bag and sending naked selfies to bimbos he met on the Internet. I have spoken to your handler from Iran and he has no problem with you coming back and will increase your stipend accordingly.

I really miss you.

As you can see I have been working out and I am ready for the run for the Presidency. I am tanned, rested and ready. And wet.

Call me.

PS: Hey Slick Willie. Suck it loser.